


Edges of My Mind

by tamibrandt



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Buffy-bashing, Dark Passion (vampire-wise), F/M, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, Non-consensual sex, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con References, Riley-bashing, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-20
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-06 06:22:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 58,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamibrandt/pseuds/tamibrandt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary – After Lindsey failed to turn Angel into his old dark self again by using Darla and Drusilla. Lilah's found a connection. It seems Lindsey had mistakenly forgot another member of the Aurelian clan, Angelus' favored childe, Spike. Now she plans to use it to her full advantage in getting to Angel. Meanwhile, Riley is back in Sunnydale tracking a Svolte demon. When he finds out that Buffy is now sleeping with Spike, he comes up with a plan of his own for retribution, and unbeknownst to him, sets off Wolfram & Hart's plan to try and drive Angel to their side.<br/>WARNINGS: Buffy-bashing, Riley-bashing. Non-consensual sex, rape, dark passion (vampire-wise), Torture, Violence, Adult Content</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Rating – NC-17  
> Pairing – M/M, Angel/Spike, Riley/Spike non-consensual  
> Timeline – AU ATS Season 3/AU BTVS Season 6 after AS YOU WERE  
> Author's Note - This story is completely AU ATS Season 3/BTVS Season 6 AU after AS YOU WERE. Angel and Darla did have sex, but she was never pregnant with Connor. CONNOR IS NOT IN THIS STORY SO DON'T LOOK FOR HIM. This fic is DARK, with DARK THEMES, so don't expect Spuffy or Bangel or B/S/A. ALSO NO ANGEL/CORDY PAIRING. They only care about each other as friends/family in this fic. There will be fluffy Spangel to the point of Angel actually CARING about Spike more than Canon shows.  
> WARNINGS: Buffy-bashing, Riley-bashing. Non-consensual sex, rape, dark passion (vampire-wise), Torture, Violence, Adult Content

##  _Prologue_

  
  
**_Spike’s Crypt_**   
  
Spike sat in his armchair staring at the blank television. He held a bottle of alcohol loosely, bracing it against his thigh. The previous hour kept his mind occupied. He had seen Riley exit Buffy’s house and had followed him to a warehouse where there was a large nest of vampires. Spike knew what it was: the equivalent of a vampire whorehouse where humans willingly went and paid to be bitten for the rush.  
  
Spike smirked at the thought of finding soldier boy in there getting suck jobs from a two-bit fledgling. The Slayer’s human, corn-fed boy-toy wasn’t as wholesome as she thought he was. Maybe Buffy should just stick to dating vampires that way if they ever cheated on her she could just stake the bastards. She had become a right uppity bitch since Peaches took off for Los Angeles.  
  
He missed his Sire desperately. Yes, the bleedin’ ponce had a soul and was a white hat nowadays, but that didn’t stop the dull ache in his chest where his heart should be. He knew deep down the reason why he had fallen in love with the Slayer. She was a connection to Angel and his unsouled counterpart. She was all he had left of the dark vampire since he no longer had Drusilla around.  
  
Spike pulled out the cork and sighed as he lifted the bottle to his lips. He was about to take a swig when his door burst open and Riley Finn stomped through it. He corked the bottle once again and set aside.  
  
“What took you so long? Guess it takes a while to get back to full strength after those bites,” Spike called out in a mocking tone.  
  
Before Spike realized it, Riley was in front of him. He grabbed the blond by the shirt and hauled him up out of the chair. Spike held up his hands as if to ward Riley away from him. “Hey! Let’s be reasonable about this!” Spike growled out.  
  
Riley turned and slammed him up against a pillar. He glared at the vampire who had been a thorn in his side for a year. Spike was always sniffing around Buffy. Instead of trying to kill him like she would any other vampire, she had let this one live and he had developed an obsession with her. He fancied himself in love with the Slayer. Wondering what kind of influence Dracula, Spike and that other vampire, Angel, who had a soul no less, had over Buffy is what sent him to that rundown warehouse to begin with.  
  
Now the bleached bloodsucker let his secret out to her and ruined his chances at the first meaningful relationship he had in his entire life. _If it was so meaningful, why did you seek out the dregs of the vampire society to drink you?_ , his inner voice asked. _Oh, shut up!_ , he answered back.  
  
“You may have noticed, Spike,” Riley said just before he punched Spike in the face, “I left reasonable back about three exits ago.”  
  
“Look, I'm not the one who got you into this. Don't kill the messenger,” Spike said in his defense. He loved to push people’s buttons, but maybe he had taken this one a little too far even if Buffy needed to know her boyfriend was stepping out on her with vampires!  
  
Riley scowled at that. This thing is what cost him his relationship with Buffy. The little demonic fuck was going to get what was coming to him. Brandishing a stake, he pulled his arm back and plunged it into Spike's chest.  
  
“And, why the hell not?” Riley spat angrily.  
  
Spike gasped what he thought would be his last breath. It seemed as though time had ceased to be while his life as a Victorian gentleman and as a vampire flashed before his eyes. His regrets with Cecily and the missed opportunities that could possibly be in the future to set things right with Angel dragged through his mind. He bid a silent farewell to his Sire and Drusilla. He was jolted back to reality when the pain of being stabbed in the heart registered through his dead body.  
  
“Ow! Bloody hell! Oh God!” Spike yelled. Then he looked down at his chest in surprise and whispered “Hey.” _Why haven’t I dusted yet?_   
  
The searing pain grew when Riley yanked the stake out of his chest. Spike clutched at his chest in pain and stared in confusion at the stake. The right of things was that stakes, decapitation, fire and sunlight killed vampires. So, why wasn’t he able to fit into an ashtray yet? What the hell kind of game was Riley playing?  
  
“Plastic wood grain,” Riley explained when he saw Spike’s confusion. “Looks real, doesn't it?” The soldier grabbed Spike’s shirt again and pulled him closer. “Don't think I don't know what's goin' on with you, Spike.” he said evenly as they glared at each other. “Stay away from her! Or we'll do this for real next time.” he warned.  
  
Riley smirked as he patted Spike on the cheek and walked away. Spike released an inaudible sigh of relief and leaned back against the pillar panting. He was still clutched his chest to stem the blood and ease the pain, but even so, he started to chuckle at the turn of events. He chuckled at the audacity of this mortal using a plastic stake on him, at the idea that this boy knew what Buffy really was and what she needed. He was sure not even Buffy herself knew the extent of her power, let alone the lab rat standing in front of him. Hearing Spike’s chuckle, Riley turned to glare at the vampire.  
  
“Oh, man,” Spike said, still chuckling, “you are really under it, aren't you?”  
  
“Under what,” Riley spat angrily.  
  
“Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey,” Spike sneered.  
  
Riley walked back toward Spike menacingly, “Because you are.”  
  
“Well . . . yeah,” Spike agreed. Not that he was hot for her lithe body, although that was a bonus. She was his remaining link to Angel. “But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her,” he said with a satisfied grin. Angel had marked her before Dracula, so the fight over who had rights over the Slayer was between that gypsy bastard and his poof of a Sire. That didn’t mean, however, that he couldn’t get a taste of her in the meantime.  
  
Riley put his hand over Spike's hand that covered the wound and pushed harder causing Spike to cry out, “Otherwise! Bloody hell!”  
  
“Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.” Riley said threateningly.  
  
“Come on,” Spike growled in pain, “you’re not the long haul guy and you know it.”  
  
“Shut up!” Riley said ominously.  
  
“You know it or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls,” Spike pointed out through the haze of pain radiating from his chest.  
  
True, he was a vampire and therefore used to pain; but, a stab through the heart like he just received made him want to scream. Angelus had taught him a great many things, and showing that kind of weakness to your enemies wasn’t one of them. His Sire would be so proud if he knew how well Spike was holding up under the circumstances.  
  
Riley on the other hand was looking annoyed at Spike’s revelation. Was he so bent about Buffy’s attraction to Dracula, Spike and Angel that he had lost sight of what he really gained from the experience? He had found out that it wasn’t the bite that enthralled a person. It was the feeling of your blood being pulled, sucked out of your body, leaving you helpless to resist. It was the clarity in that moment that someone was deeply connected to you; someone was ingrained into your psyche that held you suspended. When that hit him like a ton of bricks, he released Spike.  
  
Spike continued panting. He wavered on his feet and smirked lazily at Riley. “The girl needs some monster in her man . . . and that's not in your nature . . .” he said as he pushed himself away from the pillar. Still holding his chest, he staggered to sit in his chair. “. . . no matter how low you try to go.”  
  
Spike sat back with an expression of pain etched across his face as Riley paced around the crypt restlessly. Spike reached for his bottle and began to remove the cork again. For all outward signs, he was ignoring Riley’s impression of a caged animal.  
  
“You actually think you've got a shot with her?” Riley pondered the question out loud than really asking it.  
  
“No, I don't.” Spike answered honestly while removing the cork from the bottle, “A fella's gotta try though. Gotta do what he can,” he mumbled offhandedly as he took a swig.  
  
“If you touch her . . . you know I'd kill you for real,” Riley threatened.  
  
“If I had this chip outta my head, I'd have killed you long ago.” Spike replaced cork, "Ain't love grand?”  
  
Spike tossed the bottle to Riley, who caught it and removed the cork again. He sat on a nearby coffin and took a sip. They stared at each other as they shared the bottle. Their mutual hatred for each other was palpable in the room.  
  
Spike knew that Riley was leaving town and this little visit was a going away present before he left. In a few days, when he healed, he would shake it off and move on. There was no sense in dwelling on things like this when you had eternal life.  
  
Riley, on the other hand, was plotting his revenge against the vampire who had broken up his relationship with the first girl he ever loved. He knew he couldn’t do anything now. Buffy was too close, and she would know what Riley had done. But, if Spike followed his threatening advice, in no time, the vampire and slayer wouldn’t be so friendly and he’d move in and take his shot.


	2. Chapter 1

##  _Chapter 1_

  
  
**_One Year Later, Los Angeles Branch of Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
Lilah Morgan, attorney-at-law, and the firm’s current golden child, walked into a large room located in a sublevel of the basement filled with filing cabinets and presented herself to a mousy woman sitting behind a desk.  
  
“Lilah Morgan, clearance 0-1-1-2-7-7-3,” Lilah rattled off her clearance code irritably. She’d find a way to get to Angel, even if it killed her. After all, with the contract she’d signed with the firm, she’d only come back until they felt her service to them was complete. She may not be able to kill Angel, but she could hurt him … maybe even succeed in turning him dark and onto their side where Lindsey had failed.  
  
The woman entered the clearance code into her laptop then sat back and looked up at Lilah. “There you are. What can I do for you, Miss Morgan?"  
  
"I want everything the firm has on Angel, the whole case file. His life history, un-life history, intercepted records, victim lists, transfers and accounts … everything. I'm looking for someone he crossed paths with probably a hundred years ago or more and make it fast. The boys upstairs are at Defcon like - a thousand."  
  
Okay, so that was a lie. She was the only one working this angle. Yes, Linwood Murrow was breathing down her neck to make Angel’s un-life as much of a hell as possible, and she would, on her terms. While Gavin was only succeeding in pestering Angel and his team of do-gooders with building code violations, she’d use a different angle. Lindsey might have failed in using Darla and Drusilla against Angel, but there had to be some way to get to the vampire, and Lilah Morgan was going to find it.  
  
“Sure thing, Miss Morgan, just a sec,” the records clerk said. She turned around and pulled a thick ring binder from the shelf behind her and dropped it on the table with a heavy thud.  
  
Lilah looked surprised. She knew Angel had been around for 250 years, give or take, and had racked up a colorful history, both as a human and as a vampire, but the thick binder in front of her couldn’t possibly be Angel’s. The binder in front of her seemed way too thick. It lay there at least nearly a foot thick. "Everything is in there?” she asked, eyeing the woman suspiciously.  
  
"Right down to releasing that kid in the box of fire from the hell dimension two months ago,” the records girl assured her.  
  
"How do you know about that?" Lilah asked incredulously.  
  
"I'm Files and Records. It's my job,” the girl said automatically.  
  
“Great,” Lilah plastered on a fake smile, hefted the file into her arms and turned to leave. “I'll be back when I'm...”  
  
The girl’s voice stopped her in her tracks. “Ah, Miss Morgan? There aren't any documents in there, you know. That's just the reference key to the full file.”  
  
“The reference key?” Lilah squeaked. “So, where is the full file?” How could this humongous book _not_ be the full file on Angel? It was heavy and thick enough to break her arm.  
  
The woman flipped a switch and a whole section of file cabinets was awash in light. She turned back to Lilah and said, “The key is only helpful in locating which section of the file you'd like to look at.”  
  
Lilah sighed.  “That _whole_ thing is Angel's file?" The woman had to be joking. That couldn’t possibly be Angel’s life, could it? She was Lilah Morgan, damn it. She didn’t do leg work like this. What possessed her to take on this project? Oh, yeah, Wolfram  & Hart’s apocalypse. How dare she forget?  
  
“Just the first 35 cabinets,” the woman said nonchalantly.  
  
“Right.” _Cause going through only one cabinet would be too easy._ Lilah dropped the binder back on the desk. She looked pleadingly at the records girl. “Does China Palace deliver down here?”  
  
**************************  
  
Lilah sat cross-legged on the floor of the file room, surrounded by papers and folders. It seemed as though she had been there forever poring over the archives trying to find some shred of proof that Angel had close ties with any one that he had killed, maimed, or tortured in his long un-life. So far she had come up with zilch. It was like the guy – sorry, vampire – didn’t leave any witnesses behind. God, she wanted to scream.  
  
“This is impossible. Two hundred seventy five years of the most inane . . .” she picked up a paper and looked at it, “What the hell kind of wussy name is Liam anyway?” She beat her head against the heel of her hand. “Okay. You’re in the greenhouse. Drusilla was waiting for Darla to rise and she mentions a name . . . Dagger? Lance? Fork?”  
  
“Spike?” The records girl spoke up when she heard Lilah mumbling.  
  
“What?” Lilah’s head shot up. She hadn’t realized she had spoken aloud.  
  
“Spike, AKA William the Bloody due to his bloody awful poetry. A great debate has been had over the siring of William the Bloody. To this day, it still remains a mystery. Many have tried to reveal the truth of William’s siring. An attempt to attain a blood sample for research was attempted in 1963 by a group of watchers, but a majority of them were killed before the sample could be recovered. He became the paramour of Drusilla after he was turned. After staking his own mother, whom it was reported was in ill health before her turning, he joined up with Angelus and Darla and the four of them spent a century rampaging through Europe. It is said that he held Angelus in high esteem and became the vampire’s protégé,” the records girl rattled off nonstop.   
  
“How did you . . . ?” Lilah started to ask, flabbergasted.  
  
“I'm files and records. It's my job,” the girl’s voice was deadpan as she gave a false smile.  
  
Lilah rose to her feet and stalked over to the desk, fuming after all the hours she had put in to read Angel’s file. “You mean to tell me that I’ve been here for the last fourteen hours . . .”  
  
“Ah-hmm,” the girl agreed.  
  
“Only to find out that you know everything that’s in this case file?” Lilah continued. Why didn’t the girl tell her this in the beginning and saved her the trouble of having to go through all the hassle?  
  
"No, Miss Morgan,” the girl said.  
  
“Oh.” Lilah stood there a bit relieved that her work hadn’t been for nothing.  
  
“I know everything in every case file,” the girl said matter-of-factly. “I'm Files and Records, it's my..."  
  
Lilah couldn’t take it anymore. If the clerk wasn’t a machine, she’d reach over the desk and strangle her with her bare hands. “...your job,” she finished. “Unbelievable.” She sat down on the edge of the clerk’s desk. “Why didn’t Lindsey find the connection between him and Angel?”  
  
“Spike and Angelus always had a volatile relationship. Lindsey was concentrating on the connections most likely to bring an emotional lover type of moment, not taking into consideration the vampire's open attitude about sexual relationships,” the clerk informed Lilah.  
  
“And you didn't feel the need to inform him?” Lilah asked, surprised.  
  
“He didn't ask,” the clerk stated simply.  
  
“So why were Spike and Angel estranged?” Lilah inquired.  
  
“One moment, please,” the woman said. She sat back and her eyes flickered while she flipped through her memory bank for more information. “1898, Angelus was cursed with his soul and left the group.”  
  
“Okay. That explains the estrangement and why Lindsey couldn’t see a connection, I suppose,” Lilah commented.  
  
“Angelus showed up in China in 1900 with his soul in tact and met up with Darla, Spike and Drusilla. Spike killed his first Slayer during this time. After China, Angelus left the fold again and the foursome do not meet for another century.”  
  
“Okay, so was Spike in Sunnydale when Angel was?” Lilah asked the clerk.  
  
“One moment, please,” the woman said. She sat back again and her eyes flickered while she flipped through her memory banks for information on Angel’s life in Sunnydale. “1998, Angel was with the current Slayer, Summers, Buffy, when Spike and Drusilla showed up. After Angel lost his soul again, he returned to Spike and Drusilla briefly for a matter of months before disappearing again in May 1998, after which, Spike and Drusilla disappear.  
  
“Then why did we find Drusilla in South America without Spike?”  
  
“They went their separate ways shortly after arriving in South America. He returned to Sunnydale for a short period of time and then returned to Drusilla only to leave again and disappear until he turned up in Sunnydale again in 1999 looking for the Gem of Amara. Since then, Spike has teamed up with the Slayer in a volatile, working relationship,” the clerk said.  
  
“Huh, that must drive Angel crazy,” Lilah mused.  
  
“He knows and he hasn’t been happy about it,” the clerk said.  
  
“Huh, well maybe I can still find a way to use it to my advantage,” Lilah said before leaving the clerk without a backward glance to clean up the mess she left.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
“Gunn, have you seen my broad sword?” Angel asked from the weapons cabinet where he was searching for his favorite weapon.  
  
“Yeah, I think Wesley took it. He’s probably sharpening it for the umpteenth time. By the time he’s done, you’ll be able to slice through solid rock with one thrust,” Gunn quipped.  
  
Angel rolled his eyes. He loved that sword but Wesley was getting on his nerves about sharpening the weapons before and after every fight. He knew he’d have to repent for firing his friends last year, but that didn’t include allowing Wesley near his favorite weaponry, did it? He closed the cabinet and went in search of the ex-watcher.  
  
“Wes! I need my sword!” Angel yelled as he walked toward the office.  
  
In the office, Wesley was researching demons from the last fight when Angel walked in. The vampire grabbed his sword from the desk and examined the blade. Wesley had changed since they ran into each other on a demon-theft case three years ago, but deep down the ex-watcher was still obsessive-compulsive if the shiny new surface of his sword was any indication.  
  
“You can’t just let your weapon fall prey to Gorlack demon blood, Angel. It eats through the surface of the blade and handle,” Wesley pointed out without looking up from his research.  
  
“I’ll remember that for next time, Wes,” Angel said.  
  
Wesley made an affirmative sound and Angel left the office. Walking back into the lobby of the hotel he saw Gunn flipping through a weapons catalog and Fred and Cordelia were gathered around the computer. They were shopping online most likely.  
  
“How are we on the evil law firm front, Cordy?” Angel inquired.  
  
“They seem pretty quiet, which in layman’s terms means they are regrouping to strategize another way to corrupt the world,” Cordelia replied without looking away from the monitor.  
  
Angel nodded and turned to the man beside him. “Hey, Gunn, let’s go,” Angel said loud enough to get the other man’s attention.  
  
Gunn looked up from his perusal of the latest edition of “ _Medieval Weaponry_ – _Mystical and Enchanted Weapons for All Your Demon Slaying Needs_ ”. “Where are we going?”  
  
“I figured we would go have a talk with Merl and then take care of that nest of vampires down by the pier,” Angel said.  
  
Gunn nodded. “Okay.” He retrieved his homemade fighting axe and followed Angel down into the basement and out through the sewers to where his car was parked.


	3. Chapter 2

##  _Chapter 2_

  
  
**_Guatemalan Jungle, Central America_**  
  
Specialists Riley and Sam Finn watched as a demon nest burned to the ground. They had been married a few months now. When he left Buffy around the time he was offered a job to fight demons on his own terms, he only wanted to be left alone. Then he met Sam. She was a fighter like Buffy only without the attraction to the demons she fought. The attraction between them was evident and it didn’t take long for them to fall in love and decide to get married. Now they spent their married life roasting demon nests together. It was the life he had wanted to share with Buffy, but now he shared it with Sam.  
  
“Specialist Finn,” a static-voice came over Riley’s walkie-talkie.  
  
Riley grabbed the communication device off his belt and clicked a button. “This is Specialist Finn, go ahead.”  
  
“We have news of a person calling himself ‘The Doctor’. He’s been harvesting Svolte demon eggs on the black market. We need to shut down his operation before those eggs are sold. I don’t need to remind you how menacing Svolte eggs are when they hatch.”  
  
“Yes, sir,” Riley answered.  
  
“There’s one other thing, Specialist Finn,” the static-voice said.  
  
“What’s that, Sir,” Riley asked.  
  
“‘The Doctor’ took the eggs from what he thought was an abandoned nest. The mother is on the loose searching for them. We believe she may still be pregnant with more, over.”  
  
Riley and Sam shared a tired expression. They really didn’t want to deal with Svolte demons. They were the equivalent of unruly children with an even worse temper.  
  
“Yes, Sir,” Riley answered.  
  
“We need you and Specialist Cannon-Finn to track this thing and neutralize it, over.”  
  
“Yes, Sir,” Riley answered.  
  
Sam took the walkie-talkie from her husband and clicked a button. “Commander, this is Specialist Cannon-Finn. Can you give us a location on that Svolte?”  
  
“It’s headed for California, Specialist Cannon-Finn,” the static-voice answered.  
  
An unrecognizable expression washed over Riley’s face before he nodded to his wife to take the job.  
  
“We’ll be on the next flight back to the States, over,” Sam reported to the Commander on the other end.  
  
“Copy that, over,” the static-voice replied.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Claremont Cemetery, Sunnydale_**  
  
Buffy and Sam Finn were walking the perimeter of the graveyard. Both of them were still wearing their Kevlar outfits from fighting the Svolte demon earlier. Life seemed so simple to Buffy a few hours ago. Try to be a good friend; try to look after Dawn; try to fend off Spike’s advances before succumbing to them, simple. Then Riley showed up at the Doublemeat Palace where she worked. God, that was embarrassing and probably a step down in his eyes.  
  
From his point of view, she went from fresh faced college freshman to worn out and haggard working fast food employee in just under a year. Of course he should say anything at all. He was turning into a fang pin cushion and then abandoned her when she needed him the most. How dare he come back here and make judgments on her life? Not that he has yet, but she could see it in his eyes on the ride to find out where this Svolte demon thing was.  
  
Adding insult to injury, he didn’t just show up out of the blue and ask for her help, he flirted with her and _then_ after he’s gotten her buttered up -- _what exactly does that mean, anyway?_ His wife literally drops in whom he had _conveniently_ forgotten to mention on the trip to the Sunnydale Dam. Not only that, but now she had to entertain the other girl while patrolling.  
  
Wasn’t there a law somewhere that the former significant other and the current significant other were to _never_ meet? Didn’t she try to explain this exact situation to Angel two years ago when he just suddenly showed up out of the blue to apologize for the way he treated her in LA only to meet up with Riley and trade punches with each other? She wanted to lose herself right about now and never return to this world where her ex-boyfriend showed up with his new _wife_. A _wife_ for crying out loud, it didn’t take him long to get over her did it? God, where was Spike when you needed him?  
  
“Thanks for letting me tag along,” Sam said breaking through Buffy’s thoughts.  
  
“No problem.” Buffy gave Sam a false smile.  
  
“Maybe not for you,” Sam said in awe. “I gotta tell you, Buffy I’m a little intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer. You’re like . . . Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something.”  
  
Just great, now she was being compared by this woman to fat men. “Fat and jolly?” Buffy inquired.  
  
Sam shook her head. “Legendary. It’s not just the Slayer status I’m talking about. It’s you.”  
  
Buffy’s head shot up at that. Riley told Sam about her? That thing Giles always told her about keeping her identity a secret just never really worked. “Riley talks about me?”  
  
Sam shrugged nonchalantly. “He didn’t say anything for a long time, but I could tell. He was ripped up inside.”  
  
 _Yeah, ripped up inside huh? Did he tell you he was cheating on me with vampire whores? Did he tell you I found him in a warehouse actively being sucked by vampires? I saw that with my own two eyes. Okay, Spike alerted me to the situation to suit his own deluded purposes, but he was still doing it. I bet he left all that out of his little confessional._ “Good thing he has you,” Buffy said outwardly.  
  
“More like miraculous. I went down to Central America with the Peace Corps. One night, my entire infirmary was slaughtered by . . .” Sam shook her head to clear the painful images away. “I didn’t know what they were. I got saved, quit the Corps and joined the squad. My first firefight, I met Riley.” Sam smiled wistfully at the thought of first meeting him. “We started talking, you know, first about tactics, missions, stuff like that, and then about you,” Sam said glancing over at Buffy.  
  
 _Oh, this is nice. Stuck out here in the middle of a cemetery while Mrs. Cardboard tells me how perfect their life is. Mrs. Cardboard? Wonderful, I’m starting to use Spike-isms now._   
  
“He thinks . . . I let him go,” Buffy explained in her defense. Riley was just like any other man. Blame the woman for all his troubles, but never once putting the blame on himself for what he did behind her back.  
  
Sam stopped walking and turned towards her companion. Hearing Buffy’s comment threw her a bit. _Was Buffy trying to get back with Riley?_ “Do you wish you hadn’t,” she asked hesitantly.  
  
“I wish things had gone differently,” Buffy answered truthfully. Then she looked at the guarded expression on Sam’s face. _Oh, she thinks I want him back. I’m not ready for anything serious. I don’t even know if I could love him the same anymore._ “I-I’m not trying to . . . I don’t . . . uh, you know.” She shut up before she dug any deeper and resumed walking.  
  
 _Put a stop to that train of thought right now. Riley’s mine, I don’t care if you are the Slayer or not._ “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, Buffy. There are no bad guys in this one. The only thing that could . . . help Riley work it out was time. Lots of time. Took him a year to get over you,” Sam told her.  
  
 _A year huh, then why has it only been nine months since he left me and you’ve been married for four of them. That isn’t a year, it’s five months!_ “I’m glad he’s over me,” Buffy faintly.  
  
Sam decided to drop the baiting conversation and try another angle now that she knew Buffy was no longer interested in Riley. “So, are you seeing anyone new? Someone special?”  
  
“You know, I just take my time. I don’t wanna jump right into anything. I don’t wanna be defined by who I’m with,” Buffy answered. _What about Spike?_ Her inner voice taunted. _Spike isn’t special; he’s an evil, soulless thing. What I have with him is a thing._ _Then how do you explain your relationship with Angelus?_ Her inner voice asked. _Angel can’t help what his evil side does to people. Spike can. What I have with Spike isn’t even real so shut up._  
  
“Sam, you know what? I think we should split up,” Buffy suggested suddenly.  
  
Sam’s face fell into a hurt expression. “Oh, I’m slowing you down. I knew I would, this was just selfish of me.”  
  
 _Yeah, right. You seem real sincere about ruining my night._ “No, it’s not, uh . . . there’s this guy,” _vampire_ , her inner voice corrected, _soulless vampire_. “Uh, an informant,” _is that what they call it nowadays?_ Her inner voice mused. “But he’s twitchy,” _Yeah, he is, especially when you tickle him along his hip_ , her inner voice pointed out. If I show up with company, we get nothing,” _Not really, you may get a threesome. Spike’s easily adaptable_ , her inner voice supplied.  
  
“It’s cool. I’m guessing Finn needs me about now,” Sam said looking around to see which way to head back. “He’s probably off somewhere getting his ass kicked.” Sam grinned at that thought. “You know how wild he gets,” she said. As she backed away she called out, “Don’t worry about Rye and me, we’re good.”  
  
“I noticed,” Buffy said to herself.  
  
As she walked in the opposite direction she pondered the whole discussion with Sam tonight. Yeah, she knew how wild Riley got. So wild he was sneaking out of her bed to hunt vampires that would bite him for money. She turned her thoughts to berating her inner voice for the taunts concerning Spike. She did _not_ have a relationship with Spike. There were no feelings between them no matter how much Spike said he loved her.  
  
After Angel she couldn’t afford to fall in love with another vampire. Soulless vampires didn’t feel things like love or hate. They didn’t have a care one way or the other. Angel spent five months terrorizing her when Angelus came to the forefront to play. How could Spike be any different? Even with the chip in his head he was still evil. He _was_ capable of being evil to her and to her friends. _But he has never tried since he found out that the chip didn’t work on you, has he?_ Her inner voice asked. _He wouldn’t because I’m the Slayer. He knows I would stake him if he turned back into the Spike I first met at 16. End of story._   
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Restfield Cemetery, Spike’s Crypt_**  
  
Spike was sitting on a sarcophagus reading a book that was an old favorite back when Angelus used to read to him. He had converted the coffin into a makeshift couch with the use of a blanket and a couple of throw pillows. It wasn’t much but it was utilitarian.  
  
Spike looked up at the sound of his door slamming open to see Buffy striding in. He wasn’t expecting her tonight. Not that he could ever hold her visits to a predetermined schedule. The Slayer just showed up whenever she had the inclination to. It brought to mind a conversation he had had with Angel a few years ago when he accused his Sire of being her lapdog. He scoffed at that memory. Who was the Slayer’s lapdog now? Being love’s bitch really was a curse.  
  
“Buffy. Hey now,” Spike greeted her. He put his book down and stood up. “If I’d-a known you were coming, I’d-a baked a cake.”  
  
Buffy walked over to stand in front of him, removing her black gloves along the way. “I need information,” she stated.  
  
“Well, suppose I could be helpful, if the price is right,” he said as he watched her put the gloves down. She was undressing right in front of him? It must be real important, she never offered sex first. “I’m not sure I’m selling out at Doublemeat Palace wages though,” he smirked.  
  
Buffy ignored the comment. “I need to find a guy. Dealer. Calls himself ‘The Doctor’.”  
  
“Human?”  
  
“His traffic isn’t.”  
  
“Clock ticking?”  
  
“Whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it soon.”  
  
Spike’s eyes skimmed her body, determining the best way to remove the Kevlar. “Soon, but not now?”  
  
Buffy looked at Spike for a moment. Her mind flashed to Riley showing up, with a wife, who was determined to flaunt just how wonderful their life and marriage was. Spike was her solace even if it didn’t last long. He was there to make her life better. All she had to do was play on his weakness and she’d have him eating out of her hand. _Go ahead, take him. He’s there to be used. He’s what you always wanted Angel to be. He’s attainable._ Her inner voice whispered.  
  
“Tell me you love me,” Buffy said quietly.  
  
Spike was taken by surprise when he heard her words. She’s never wanted his love before. Why now? He’d spent the last year or so trying to tell her he loved her only to be spat on and degraded to nothing. Now here she was asking if he loved her. Knowing he’d probably end up hurt in the end, physically or otherwise, he yielded.  
  
“I love you. You know I do,” Spike said.  
  
Buffy took a step closer watching Spike’s full lips intently. “Tell me you want me.”  
  
Tell her he wanted her? Was she insane? He’s wanted her for years; wanted to kill her, fight her, be her confidant, hold her, kiss her, and make love to her. Several of which she would never allow him close enough to do. Yet here she was asking if he wanted her.  
  
“I always want you,” Spike whispered. “In point of fact--”  
  
“Shut up,” Buffy said cutting him off.  
  
Buffy moved closer to Spike as if to kiss him, but instead, hooked her hand around his neck and pulled him down with her onto the sarcophagus. Lying on her back with him on top of her, she started unbuttoning his shirt. Spike tugged at the fastenings on Buffy’s Kevlar outfit. She stared up into his face and saw the vulnerability there that she always did in these moments. Moments when she knew she could hurt him the most with a look, a word, a gesture. It gave her the powerful feeling she always craved in his presence. It was the feeling that she could control something when the world outside his crypt refused to bend to her will. She pushed the partially unbuttoned shirt down over his shoulder and used it to pull him down for a kiss that made her forget about Riley and Sam Finn.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Some time later, Spike’s Crypt_**  
  
Buffy and Spike were lying on the sarcophagus sleeping under the blankets. Buffy still refused to touch him after sex. Cuddling after sex was too intimate, too much of a lover’s touch. Spike wasn’t her lover, he was a thing. _So then drop the evil, sexy vampire and buy a vibrator_ , her inner voice suggested. Whoever heard of such a thing? The Slayer can’t keep a man so she keeps a vibrator? Yeah, right. That’ll never happen.  
  
Suddenly the door to the crypt burst open again. Spike stirred at the sound and opened an eye to see if Buffy had up and left immediately after sex, again. Seeing her still dozing beside him, he lifted his head up to see who had the balls to entire a vampire’s lair while said vampire was in residence.  
  
Feeling Spike move beside her, Buffy opened her eyes and raised her head to look for the intruder as well. When she saw her ex-boyfriend in the shadows, she gasped and sat up, holding the blanket over her chest. She leaned over and reached to cover a bare leg that had become exposed during her slumber. Why she was covering herself from Riley’s view she couldn’t comprehend in her sleep-addled brain. It wasn’t like he had never seen her naked before.  
  
Spike gave Riley a stony stare but then seeing Buffy cover herself, he chuckled. _A little late for that don’tcha think, love? Everyone in this room has seen everyone else naked or is about to._ He propped himself up on his elbows and smirked at Riley.  
  
“Well, lookee here. I don’t normally use the word delicious . . .” Spike drawled as he cocked his head looking at Riley standing inside his crypt and holding a large gun. He could just imagine what was going through soldier boy’s mind right now seeing Buffy naked and under the covers with him. It was probably the same thoughts he had last year when he used to stand under Buffy’s bedroom window and listen to her fuck the boy. “. . . but I’ve gotta wager this little tableau must sting a bit, eh? Catching me with your former? It must kill to see her finally with me.” Spike ran a possessive and caressing touch over Buffy’s lower back, just to see Riley’s reaction. “What can I say? I told you she needed a little monster in her man.”  
  
Buffy stared down at the blanket covering her with an expression caught between distress and shame. Riley had walked in and found out her secret. Her friends and family didn’t even know that she was sleeping with Spike. _Oh my God. That’s right, start praying now,_ her inner voice taunted, _You didn’t think you could keep your midnight trysts with Spike a secret for long, now could you? Honestly? No_ , she answered herself silently. _Welcome to the real world, honey_ , her inner voice said.   
  
A brief expression of pain passed over Riley’s features before they settled into an expression of indifference as he took in the picture of his beloved Buffy in bed with Spike of all people. He thought she had more smarts than to sleep with a soulless demon. The Buffy he knew would have never thought of Spike in a sexual way, let alone _willingly_ sleep with him. What the hell was it with Buffy and vampires? Granted Angel had a soul, but he was still undead. Now she’s sleeping with Spike? Thank God he had found Sam and married her.  
  
Riley stared hard at the blond vampire. “That’s not why I’m here . . . Doctor.”  
  
Buffy’s head shot up with shocked expression and turned to stare at Spike and then over to Riley. _Spike was The Doctor? No way. Spike was evil, not a genius._ Buffy looked from one man to the other. She was still holding the blanket against her body. Realizing that she was still naked and still under the covers with Spike, feeling his hand caress her back, she became disgusted with herself.  
  
“Oh God.” She got up taking the blanket with her. Seeing the awareness hit the girl, Spike sighed in defeat as he watched her stand up and search for her clothes. He sat up and threw his legs over the side of the coffin. “Here I thought we’d run you out of town, mate.”  
  
On the other side of the coffin, Buffy crouched down and scooped up her clothes. She scowled at Spike’s comment. Clothes in hand, she walked around a cavern wall that ran through the upper and lower level of the crypt for a measure of privacy to get dressed.  
  
Spike was still watching Riley cautiously. If he ever pulled that trigger, it wouldn’t kill him but it would hurt like hell. Glaring at the former Initiative operative, Spike said conversationally, “Last time I saw you, if memory serves, you were getting the juice sucked out of you by some undead ladies of very questionable reputation.” Just for the shock value, Spike let his legs fall open to reveal his long, thick manhood resting against his inner thigh. He smirked when Riley averted his eyes. _Please her well with it I do and she always comes back for more, Cardboard._  
  
“Now, if you don’t mind, be a good tin soldier and, uh . . .” Spike said as he made a “go-away” gesture.  
  
Riley ignored the irritating vampire and asked, “Where are they . . . Doctor?”  
  
Spike had picked up his jeans and was putting them on when he answered. “Where are what, and why do you keep calling me that?”  
  
Riley rolled his eyes and looked around the crypt. He sure didn’t miss getting information from Spike. Now here he was back in Sunnydale looking for Svolte demon eggs only to find his ex-girlfriend fucking the undead. Why did he ever agree to let Sam take this mission? After scanning the room he looked back at Spike who was now half dressed. “It’s good to be back in Sunnydale. The locals all speak English, and I know who to beat for information. It’s all brought me here.”  
  
Spike didn’t know about that. Angelus drilled a few languages into his vocabulary, both foreign and demonic. A wild hare hit him. He cocked his head and looked at Riley, “Parlez-vous français? Parlate italiano? Spreekt u het Nederlands? ¿Usted habla español?” He made a few guttural sounds in demonic languages as well. Seeing Riley’s weary expression he smiled. _Thought so, you bastard._   
  
Becoming serious again, Spike sighed and fastened his jeans. “Look, crew cut,” he said as he buckled his belt. “She’s not your bint any more. And, if I can speak frankly, she always had a little thing for me, even when she was shagging you.”  
  
“Nice, Spike, that’s very distracting,” Riley said sarcastically. He walked closer, “Now tell me, before I get unprofessional . . .” He pointed the gun at Spike. “. . . Where are those eggs, Spike?”  
  
Did Spike hear Riley right? He wasn’t here for Buffy? He was here about the Svolte demon eggs he was holding for Maurice? He and the Glognok demon had a deal set up that he would find the eggs, Spike would store them and they would sell them and split the cost. He’d keep enough to buy blood and smokes and give the rest of his share to Buffy to help with her money issues.  
  
“Eggs,” Spike scoffed. “You’re off your nut, mate. It must be those drugs they were keeping you on. I did warn you.”  
  
Riley was growing impatient. Why Buffy felt the need to keep this undead sack of shit alive, or even deader, as the case may be, was beyond him. He would have already staked the prick if she hadn’t appealed to him that Spike was her vampire to deal with. Her vampire, he couldn’t believe she had called Spike _her_ vampire the night they had argued over keeping Spike around two years ago. Now she was fucking him. She was letting another vampire put his dead flesh inside her body. How sickening is that?  
  
“Okay. We can do this the hard way,” Riley said and then cocked his gun, “or we can do this the fatal way,” he rolled his hips and bumped a stake hanging from his belt into Spike’s view. While Spike refocused more on the stake than the gun, Riley punched him in the face with the barrel of the gun. That was when Buffy reappeared fully dressed as Spike rubbed the pain from his nose.  
  
“Where are the eggs?” Riley repeated despairingly.  
  
“Look, The Doctor, it can’t be Spike,” Buffy said anxiously.  
  
Spike looked at her surprised that she had come to his defense. “No need to defend me, love.”  
  
Buffy turned and punched him just on general principle. She turned back to Riley. “Look, i-it can’t be, okay? He-he’s too incompetent to pull off a stunt like this.” Spike glared at her for the insult to his intelligence. Damn woman wasn’t helping his case at all. “It’s just Spike, Riley,” Buffy reasoned.  
  
Riley nodded. “Right, deadly . . . amoral.” Spike smirked at those descriptions. Boy wonder was giving him way too much credit for his current neutered state. “Opportunistic,” Riley said as he glared at Spike. “Or have you forgotten?”  
  
Buffy glared at Riley. She may not have an answer for her recent behavior with Spike now, but how dare he get all self-righteous on her. He was killing himself not a year ago by paying vampires to suck his blood and sneaking out of _her_ bed to do it. Yet, here he was standing in her lover’s – _did I just call Spike my lover?_ – crypt accusing her of forgetting who Spike was. She remembered who Spike was, damn it. _The vampire who fucks you like no one else can? The vampire that can dish it right back just as well as he can take it and never slow down because he’s not mortal?_ Her inner voice suggested. _Oooh, if you aren’t going to help matters than just shut up!_ She scolded herself.  
  
While Buffy was arguing with herself, Riley was threatening Spike with gun and words and maybe a possible staking – for real this time. He had the gun pointed at the blonde vampire and was glaring at him as he said, “I’m taking this place apart until I find that nest.”  
  
What the bloody hell? Captain Cardboard waltzes in here and interrupts a post-shag bliss like he was the riot police and now he was threatening to destroy his home. Wasn’t there an amendment in this country about illegal search and seizures? Granted he hadn’t practiced law in over a century, but he still kept up with the ever-changing laws in whichever country he happened to be residing in at the time. Learning all the rules and regulations that humans around the world used to restrict themselves was one of his many entertainments while traveling with Drusilla over the years.  
  
“Over my dead body,” Spike retorted. Okay, so technically he _was_ dead. It was a figure of speech really, not to be taken literally.  
  
“I’ve seen enough of your dead body for one night, thanks,” Riley gritted out. He used the barrel of his gun to shove Spike aside.  
  
Spike grabbed his shoulder when Riley passed him. “You’re not gonna--”  
  
Riley shoved Spike away and he stumbled back against a pillar. As Riley started down the ladder to lower level of the crypt, he called out to Buffy, “You coming?”  
  
Buffy was still confused as to how this night had gotten this far. She looked up from mulling over her jumbled thoughts. Seeing that Riley wasn’t there, she looked at Spike with a perplexed expression until Riley’s rough question seeped into her brain. She turned and followed Riley down the ladder.  
  
For several seconds Spike had thought Buffy would side with him, but once her ex-toy soldier’s question registered she had followed the man down into his bedroom. He couldn’t believe this. Two hours ago she was asking if he loved and wanted her. She had nearly torn his clothes off trying to get to his cock. She had demanded his love be given in a firework display of passionate sex. Now the bloody bint was siding with GI Joe and apparently forgetting the very profound event that happened between them not even an hour earlier.  
  
Spike stared at the spot where the Slayer had just been standing and the more he thought about it the more it pissed him off. Angrily he yelled, “Oh, this is . . . unconstitutional, is what it is!” He grabbed his shirt and shrugged it on and he hurried to catch up with them. “Here!”  
  
Riley and Buffy had reached the ground level when Spike calling after them, “There’s nothing to see down there!”  
  
Buffy hurried after Riley as he moved through the large underground rooms. Her ex-boyfriend may have cheated on her with vampires, but, in her opinion, he had great instincts. If he thought there was a nest in Spike’s bedroom, then there must be a chance that there was. Spike may have protected Dawn, her mom, her friends and herself on numerous occasions, but he was still a vampire, and therefore evil in any case.  
  
“Riley, look, I’m not saying that he’s good. I’m just saying that he’s not capable of something as--” Buffy was cut short when they rounded a corner and saw the demon eggs. There were nearly a dozen or more around the size of small boulders with a brownish-gray scaly shell. Riley cocked his weapon when upon closer inspection he saw yellowish slime trickling out of the cracks in a few of the shells.  
  
At that moment Spike had caught up with them. Seeing that they had found the eggs he turned to them and said defensively, “I can explain.”  
  
Riley scanned the eggs and mentally evaluated how many were soon to hatch. He didn’t think he had enough ammunition for this. He only had two guns and a couple dozen bullets in each one. Sam had the better guns of their small arsenal and she wasn’t here. In fact she was supposed to keep Buffy occupied long enough for him to visit Spike but he saw how that turned out. Sweet, little Buffy was in bed with the animated, blood-drinking corpse. “We’re gonna need more weapons. Spike screwed up. You didn’t keep ‘em frozen did you . . . Doctor?”  
  
Spike was fed up with Riley’s accusation that he was Maurice’s supplier. “You can stop calling me that _any time_. If I may, the thing of it is, I’m holding these for a friend who--”  
  
Too busy trying to explain why he had had the eggs in the first place, Spike wasn’t prepared for it when Buffy punched him in the nose and knocked him to the ground.  
  
“No more games Spike!” Buffy ground out.  
  
Spike rose to his feet. He was angry. First she sides with Riley and now _she’s_ telling _him_ ‘no more games’? If anyone was playing the games here it was her. She was the one calling the shots of their – whatever this was to her. It sure as hell wasn’t the relationship he had signed on for. In the beginning he was fine with it just being rough sex, but he still loved her. He wanted to treat her like he had treated Drusilla all those years: take care of her, provide for her. She wouldn’t allow that. So he went in on the deal with Maurice over the Sovlte eggs to begin with, to get her money so she wouldn’t have to work and she’d stop reeking of that fucking restaurant. The smell of cooked meat on her flesh always made him squeamish.  
  
Spike looked crestfallen at Buffy. He had tried everything to make her life better. He tried to make it so that she would survive a lot longer than previous slayers. He wanted to see her rise out of this depressing rut she had pigeonholed herself into. It was like dealing with a female version of his souled, guilt-ridden Sire. He wanted her to move on with her life. He wanted to see her blossom and glow. He loved her to the point that _if she was_ using him as a springboard to achieve that inner peace she had before she died then he accepted that.  
  
Yet here she was standing in front of him with hate in her eyes. It wasn’t the hate that a Slayer and a vampire shared mutually. No, she was acting the part of the scorned lover. The funny thing was she was doing it on the side of the very person who had betrayed her.  
  
Spike was tired of this whole situation. _Love’s bitch, indeed._ Seeing her standing there, united with Soldier Blue against him had finally cleared his vision. He saw what she had truly become. All the hatred and negative emotions she spat at him and pounded into his flesh on a nearly daily basis were written on her face. She had felt it within herself and spent the last two months or more pouring it into him, because, in her eyes, he was just a dead, evil, soulless demon.  
  
Spike wasn’t sure what to feel for her. The emotions of anger and sadness of letting this woman nearly destroy him from the inside out were threatening to come out in a flood of frustrated tears.  
  
“Well, that’s bloody funny coming from you! No more games?” Buffy rolled her eyes as if he were a nuisance to her and not the vampire she had willingly sought out and fucked for the last two months. “That’s all you’ve ever done is play me. You keep playing with rules you make up as you like. You know what I bloody well am. You’ve always known. You come to me all the same!”  
  
Riley cocked his head toward Buffy. “Can you shut him up?”  
  
Buffy had grown weary of Spike’s tirade even before he started. She’d deal with him after Riley left town with his new wife. “Not so far.”  
  
Hearing Buffy’s dismissal of him in her voice, Spike stalked off. He needed a drink. If it wasn’t for the bloody chip, he’d go hunt for a vile kill. He now understood why Angelus was utterly insane a few years ago. The blond bitch had driven him to it and when Angel wouldn’t react; all that frustration was pent up until Angelus finally broke through. Not that Spike could instantly forgive his Sire for treating him the way he had when Spike was wheelchair bound. But it did explain a lot of what had happened to Angelus then.  
  
Walking through the demon district of Sunnydale, Spike realized that with his neutered state and his association with Slayer had gotten him violently and/or physically tossed from 99.9% of the demon bars. Sighing he headed toward the sewer. He walked a few meters and then climbed a ladder. He opened the trap door at the top and climbed out into Willy’s storage room. He went over to a group of shelves and scanned the liquor display. Choosing a strong whiskey, he drank what he judged to be a shot straight from the bottle. He recapped the bottle and placed it back on the shelf.


	4. Chapter 3

##  _Chapter 3_

  
  
**_Sunnydale_**  
  
Two hours later, Spike was slowly walking back home to his crypt. It was more like shuffling his feet across the pavement really. After all, what did he have to look forward to aside from a possibly empty crypt and the Slayer’s scent surrounding the place? With Captain Cardboard in town it was doubtful she’d be waiting for him with open arms. Buffy was never the “open arms” type of person. Unless you were Angel and even then that was so melodramatic he had actually wanted to throw up the few times he witnessed it. They could have their own soap opera or TV show, maybe even a _Lifetime_ movie: **_The Slayer and the Poncy Souled Vampire_**.  
  
He had just spent a better part of the past couple of hours taking one-drink shots out of all of the liquor in Willy’s storage room. At one point, Willy did come in to find him capping one bottle and uncapping another. When Spike had turned his demon face on the very human bartender, Willy held up his hands in surrender and wisely kept his mouth shut. Spike was fine with the silent surrender as Willy tended to stutter and bungle his way in and out of trouble. The last thing he wanted to deal with for the night was a stuttering fool.  
  
Using the sewer system, Spike walked through the tunnels into the lower level of his crypt. He stopped short at the sight that greeted him and his jaw dropped in shock. Everything was blackened.  
  
Spike clenched his teeth so hard to stave off the tears that his jaw hurt. Where his bedroom used to be was now one big, giant, blackened crater. Everything he ever owned: books that Angelus read to him, oriental rugs he had gotten from his travels with Drusilla, dark mahogany cedar dresser set that he had custom made, everything was destroyed. Wait. Scratch that. Drusilla’s bed, the one he had moved over from storage in the Crawford Street mansion when he had first set this place up sat there untouched.  
  
Spike stared at the clean bed with crumpled sheets from when he had last used it had not been touched. Well the bedding was riddled with bullet holes. But the frame itself was not destroyed. Spike gave a dry, humorless laugh at that. The Slayer and Finn had managed to obliterate everything he possessed, but Buffy still managed to miss the bed. Bloody ironic that was.  
  
“I see you’re back. Like the new makeover,” a gruff voice asked.  
  
Spike turned to see Riley standing at the mouth of the sewer tunnel. “Yeah, bloody marvelous. It gives it that bombed out shelter vibe,” Spike answered in monotone. He was still in shock trying to absorb what the hell just happened to his home.  
  
“Hmm,” Riley hummed as he walked closer to the vampire. “Remember what I said I’d do if you ever touched her?”  
  
“Get over it, Cardboard. You fucked up your chance and left her. After that she was fair game. So piss off and go back to whatever jungle you came from,” Spike said disinterestedly.  
  
“You see, Spike. I don’t think I will. You need to be taught a lesson. You’re what we call a human sub-terrestrial and hell you’re not even all that human. You’re a demon wearing a human’s body and you don’t have a soul. You’re as evil as they come, Spike. With that chip in your head, you’re spineless. You can’t do a fucking thing to hurt me. But I can hurt you,” Riley explained slowly. He wanted to make sure Spike understood every word.  
  
Spike stared daggers at Riley. He was just waiting for the boy to make a move, silently bracing himself for the fist about to come. “She came to me first, that’s generally how it works. What of it anyway, Cardboard? She’s not your concern anymore. You’re a married man now, got a whole new life, pretty new girl, livin’ it up in some foreign jungle.”  
  
“What’s it feel like to know you weren’t there first and that you got sloppy seconds, Spike?” Riley asked with a cruel twist of his mouth.  
  
“I don’t know, crew cut, you tell me,” Spike said with a smirk. “How does it feel to know your girl, sorry, ex-girl, was with a vampire before she met you?”  
  
Riley didn’t even speak. He answered by drawing back his fist and punching Spike in the nose. The blonde felt along the cartilage with gentle fingertips to see what the damage report of being hit in the nose three times in one night had caused. He looked over at Riley and chuckled. Spike couldn’t help but laugh. He may have a chip preventing him from harming the boy wonder, but he still had a sharp tongue that could slice him to ribbons.  
  
“Is that the best you got? I must say, even the Slayer and my Sire have hit me harder than you do,” Spike edged on.  
  
Riley’s mind flashed on seeing Buffy and Spike under the covers together and then flashed on meeting Angel in that alley a couple of years ago and Buffy’s reaction to the vampire when all three of them were in Buffy’s dorm staring at each other. Now standing here in front of him was Spike, the blonde nuisance, who had been a thorn in Riley’s side ever since he met him.  
  
The more Riley thought about it the angrier he became until he punched Spike, knocking him down. He followed the blonde vampire to the floor and continued laying punches on his face and body. Spike tried to defend himself by holding off the blows, but between Riley’s hard fists and his defensive movement it triggered the chip in his head and he was blinded by the white hot pain behind his eyes. Deciding that the pain was worse than the beating he was getting, Spike brought his arms up to cradle his head. He prayed that it would be over soon so he could crawl under the covers of Drusilla’s bed and pass out.  
  
Riley used his whole body to batter Spike: fists to the face and chest, knees jammed repeatedly into Spike’s ribs with the movement until Riley was sure he had felt one of them crack. Nearly two years of not being able to go after the vampire because Buffy had felt sorry for him were surfacing. Every jab, every punch marked a week, a day, a moment that Spike had antagonized him knowing that Buffy would buffer the fight.  
  
Spike had retreated into his mind. He was awake. He still felt the punches landing on his bruising flesh. He still felt his blood rising to the surface and welling up when the bruising blistered into open abrasions. Bones were bruising and possibly cracking, muscles were being tenderized. Everything from the neck down was turning into a dull ache even as the pain in his head from the chip firing was searing his thought process.  
  
Spike found himself in a room dimly lit by a few lamps. The place looked familiar. Like the cottage they had secured a couple of months after he was turned. Angelus had grown tired of living in the Royal London Hotel and moved him and Drusilla here. He looked down at his apparel and sure enough he was back in the clothes of this period. When he had escaped Riley’s beating and – concentrating on the muffled sounds with his vampiric ears, he heard his own shouts and grunts and roaring growls. What the hell was going on out there? Why had his conscience sent him here?  
  
Spike turned and went to the door. He tried to open it but the panel wouldn’t budge. Half of him wanted to stay here where it seemed safe, but the other half wanted to know what was happening on the other side. He heard childlike giggling from the next room. It was a melodic tinkle in his ears. There was only one person he knew with that laugh – Drusilla. Then he heard gruff growls – Angelus.  
  
Spike cautiously walked to the doorway and peeked around the corner. The last time he had come upon a scene similar to this with Angelus, he found his Sire fucking Drusilla. That was the night his Sire taught him about his station in the world now that he was a vampire. Nothing was yours to own, you merely took it if you wanted it.  
  
So now he cautiously peered around the door. Drusilla was sitting on Angelus’ lap, quite innocently. She looked up, sensing family near.  
  
“My Spike! You’ve returned to me. Miss Edith said you would! Come! Daddy was telling stories!” she said excitedly.  
  
Angelus looked over at his childe and smiled. “See, Dru, I told you that you had nothing to worry your pretty little head over,” he declared.  
  
Spike looked at them stunned. Huh. He thought it was earlier in the time period. This was the house in Yorkshire after he had taken his nickname. He looked around as if he were seeing the house for the first time. “How long was I away?”  
  
“Just over a few hours, m’boy,” Angel said. He patted Drusilla on the ass lightly. “Up now, princess, daddy has to see to a few things now that Spike’s home.”  
  
Drusilla gave a pout of displeasure before she hopped to her feet and gave Spike the biggest smile he’d ever remembered seeing on her delicate face. She grabbed an ivory-handled hairbrush and tiptoed over to Spike as if she was sneaking up on him with a coy smile.  
  
Spike watched her. It had been ages since he had seen his Dark Goddess this healthy and carefree. She was still mad as a hatter, but she was childishly happy. Those years before Sunnydale watching her slowly waste away after the mob attacked them were heartbreaking torture. But here she was, sparkling eyes, happy, playful, and as healthy as could be expected for someone certifiably insane. He missed seeing her this way. After the Acathla incident, she never really forgave him for helping to send Angelus to hell.  
  
Spike smiled. “Hello, Dru. What have you got there, my sweet?”  
  
Drusilla’s dark blue eyes grew as wide as saucers, like she realized she’d been caught trying to sneak a peek at Christmas presents. Then she held out the hairbrush in offering.  
  
“Ah, would you like me to brush your hair, pet?” Spike asked softly.  
  
When she nodded, he took the brush from her hand and led her back to the chair Angelus had vacated. Sitting Drusilla down on the stool in front of him he started to brush out her raven locks gently working the bristles through the tangles.  
  
Spike had been carefully brushing Drusilla’s hair for a half an hour. It was peaceful and relaxing. He hadn’t done this since she’d left him in South America. Finally she spoke up. “Daddy will understand. He will help you. Go to him, he will take back what is rightfully his, my Spike.”  
  
Spike stopped the brush in mid-stroke. How did this version of her know what was happening out in the real world to him? He didn’t think she would have knowledge of the things Drusilla from his time knew. “What do you mean, kitten?”  
  
“The little tin soldier is taking what is not his to own. Angelus shall be very cross when he finds out. He will take back what is his and bring back my white knight in all his glory,” Drusilla said with a dreamy look in her eyes.  
  
 _In all his glory?_ What was Drusilla prattling on about? He hadn’t been himself since they put the chip in his head. Why would Angel care about him? Let alone take him back? The last time he saw his Sire face-to-face was in L.A. a couple of years ago when he had him tortured over the Gem of Amara. Angel wouldn’t want him back after that.  
  
As if Drusilla had read his mind, she said, “Go to him. Come back to the family again, my Spike. He’ll welcome you. Let daddy reclaim what is his.”  
  
“But, pet, there is so much bad blood,” Spike said as he resumed brushing her hair.  
  
“It flows like the flooded river. The flood will wash away the tainted to make room for the purist blood. Miss Edith said that you are to go to him and she has never been wrong before. He will make everything right again,” Drusilla replied.  
  
“What about Buffy, pet? I have to be there to help her. She’s going through a bad spot,” Spike questioned.  
  
Drusilla pulled away from the brush slightly and Spike dropped his hand as she turned to face him. Leaning closer, she placed her palm gently over his silent heart. She tilted her head as if she were listening to something in the distance. Then she raised her head and stared into his cerulean eyes, her full lips mere inches from his own.  
  
“Her aura surrounds you, but she has grown dim in your heart. You want something she is not able to give. She cannot satisfy my dark prince. Please, Spike … go to daddy,” Drusilla finally begged.  
  
Spike brushed his fingertips along her hairline and lightly caressed her cheek. He smiled at her and said, “Okay, Dru. I’ll go to him. But, if he rejects me, I’m blaming you.”  
  
Drusilla gave him a big smile. She knew she wasn’t wrong. Angelus would help his boy. Spike was his favored childe, even above her. She knew the order of things with her daddy. Spike had a special place with their Sire. Her Angel would take him back into the fold and make him whole again.  
  
Spike kissed her lightly on the lips and returned her hairbrush. He rose to his feet and walked to the door that Angelus went through earlier. Slowly stepping closer he was a bit nervous as to what mood he’d find his Sire in when he opened the door.  
  
When he was just about to grab the doorknob, he looked back at Drusilla. She cocked her head at him and went about brushing her own hair as she watched him. Once he realized he wasn’t getting anymore help from her, he opened the door to a flash of white light.  
  
Spike opened his eyes. Well as much as he could open them when they were swollen from Riley’s fists. His vision was blurry at the most. Riley was just finishing when he had started to come around again. He let out a feral growl when the man pulled out of his abused body almost viciously. He lay there in complete shock of what he allowed to happen to himself while his mind went on holiday. The Big Bad, Slayer of Slayers, taken down by a chip that nearly fried his brain if he even thought of harming a human, had become utterly conscious of the fact that he – that Riley violated him – and he couldn’t fight back because of the bleedin’ chip.  
  
“Maybe, next time you’ll stay away from her, huh Spike?” Riley sneered and then left the crypt.  
  
To Spike, Riley’s words were distant in his ears. He lay there unmoving, still trying to wrap his mind around what just occurred. _When did the rape actually happen anyway? I don’t remember it happening. I remember the punches and knee jabs. Oh, God, everything hurts._ Spike tried not to move too much, for when he did intense pain hit him like a ton of bricks.  
  
Spike lay there for what seemed like days or hours. He couldn’t tell how long he’d been there. Drusilla said to go to Angel, but damn if he knew how he was going to accomplish that. It was nearing dawn and he was pretty sure he still had a few cans of black spray paint. _Oh, God_. The very thought of moving brought on a whole new wave of pain coursing through his body. He needed blood to heal.  
  
 _Go to daddy_ , Drusilla’s voice rang in his mind. “When I can move, I will, Dru.” Spike mumbled to himself. He was about ready to fall asleep from the pain when Angelus’ voice boomed through his head like a ringing gong, _Move, boy. You don’t mind the pain, you’re a vampire, damn it. Get up!_  
  
“Oi!” Spike’s eyes tried to spring open, but they were too swollen to manage more then a little bit. _Great, Angelus. You want me to get up and move and I can barely see_. Well, he could still see better than a human would at any rate, but that was neither here nor there at this point. He morphed into his demon and a bit of the pain in his face subsided. That helped the sense of sight considerably.  
  
Spike crawled to his knees and then used the bed as leverage to climb onto the mattress. He felt a little light-headed and spacey. Looking down at himself, he still couldn’t remember how his clothes had ended up in disarray. Then again, the scene he had come upon when reality floated back seemed like a bad dream. He willed himself to wake up and see Buffy still dozing beside him on the coffin. Spike rubbed his eyes, shook his head, blinked, pinched himself and the scene still wasn’t changing.  
  
Spike thought about leaving and not being here to back the Slayer up if she needed him. _You want something she is not able to give. She cannot satisfy my dark prince. Please, Spike, go to daddy . . . go to daddy . . . go to daddy_ , Drusilla’s voice echoed in his head. He carefully pulled his clothes on and then stood on shaky legs. He grabbed the bedpost for purchase. Turning his head and focusing his clearing vision on the bed frame as if he was seeing it for the first time, Spike wondered how he’d get it out of this mess. He didn’t _want_ to leave Drusilla’s bed behind, but he had to.  
  
After steadying himself, Spike stumbled out of what was left of his crypt. Once outside, he tried to walk a few paces, but his foot caught on a small mound of dirt and he stumbled to his knees. He sat there and gathered his bearings. _Go to daddy_ , Drusilla’s voice repeated.  
  
After tonight’s display from the Slayer, he knew he wouldn’t get any help from her. He was just an evil thing to take care of her needs; no more than a sex toy to her, which would be all fine and great, except for the thing that just happened to him. Spike wondered how he was going to get to LA in one piece. Between the pain and the approaching dawn that he could sense was coming if not a few hours away.  
  
Spike finally made it to the Desoto, climbed in and switched the engine on. He had to get to Angel. Drusilla said he’d help. For once in his un-life, he prayed that she was right.


	5. Chapter 4

##  _Chapter 4_

  
  
**_Los Angeles_**  
  
The pain had been so bad that Spike had driven part of the way vamped out to dull the soreness. Luckily by that time, he was already inside the city limits so he didn’t attract too much attention. LA was a strange town and something weird such as a vampire driving down the 405 hadn’t raised any eyebrows. He couldn’t fathom how he had driven safely through the haze of pain. Granted, he did pull over a couple of times until the nausea passed before continuing on.  
  
The minute he parked the Desoto, Spike had literally crawled out of the car, sat up and propped himself against the back wheel of the vehicle. He stared blankly at the building across the street. The Hyperion Hotel looked huge and foreboding from where he sat on the ground. The several feet to the iron entrance gates seemed more like several miles. He wondered if he’d make across the street without being run over. As if in answer, a sports car sped past him.  
  
Spike hadn’t needed his Sire for a century. So why, after all this time, did the image of his Dark Princess direct him here? Angel had no reason to even let him in the bloody door, not after Spike had tortured him over the Gem of Amara. His soulful elder would probably stake him the minute he saw him.  
  
Spike let his head fall back against the wheel well. Wasn’t that something he wanted? To no longer exist like this? He was no longer William the Bloody nor was he Spike, not with this chip in his head. Yes, he had learned to adapt to having it, but it was no way for a Master vampire to live. He could not rely on his natural instincts of hunting and feeding. He could not defend himself against human as was evident earlier.  
  
Buffy had told him once that Dawn said that he having a chip was the same as Angel having the soul. Of course, he had vehemently denied it. It still held true now. Even with his guilt-ridden soul to stop his Sire from feasting on humans, he could at least defend himself against them.  
  
It wasn’t even the fact that he _was_ defenseless against humans that annoyed Spike. It was that he was defenseless against _Riley_. Captain Cardboard had had a vendetta against him for the last two years. He was surprised the boy had waited this long to collect.  
  
Spike thought back to last year when Riley had left Buffy. The commando had chosen his job over trying to repair the damage he had done to his relationship with the Slayer. Spike had thought for sure Buffy would never forgive the abandonment, since she had never really forgiven Angel for leaving her. Tonight, he was proven wrong. As soon as the Boy Wonder had stepped back into her life, Buffy took his side over Spike’s. Because, God forbid, the soulless demon actually loved her enough to try and do something right to help her. Hell, she had even helped the bastard destroy everything he owned by blowing up his crypt.  
  
There was nothing left of what he was anymore. His past and everything that he held dear had gone up in flames. He was no longer William the Bloody Awful Poet. The Initiative and Buffy had forced him to change. The chip the Initiative had implanted had forced him to change his way of life. What the hell kind of life was this?  
  
But, he let himself be led around by Buffy. The Slayer made him fall in love with her. She made him want to help her and her little merry band of Scoobies. He had tried to help her by giving her an outlet for her frustration and anger. He listened when she couldn’t tell her friends how she had felt about her return to the living.  
  
What did he have to show for his efforts? Bruises and rough sex. She had refused tender lovemaking. Every time he had slowed his thrusts or shifted to bring her the most pleasure, she would claw his back, slam her thighs against his hips with demands that he move harder and faster. It was as if she did not know how to be soft anymore. To her, he was a soulless demon. What did he know about being gentle?  
  
About this time last year, Buffy had been so fresh and bright. He had loved her brilliance. She glowed then. She was almost downright perky compared to how she is now. It was like meeting a brick wall. She was harsh, rough and unyielding. He had enjoyed their sparring when they met. She had so much fire. It had nearly burned him when they would dance. Now, all he met were her fists of anger and resentment. Her normal witty comebacks were passionless. He still tried to get through to her. He thought he had accomplished that to some degree tonight. But, after Riley had shown up and she had sided with her commando, Spike knew he had failed.  
  
He felt his mind was starting to slip. The whole night had taking on a sense of surrealism. For all he knew he was still back in his crypt sleeping and this was a deranged dream. Then again, he could possibly be joining Drusilla in her perpetual state of madness.  
  
With that thought, Spike wanted to crawl into the Hyperion and _beg_ Angel to stake him. Subconsciously, he reflected on the irony that he was here in LA considering letting Angel end his existence, pitiful excuse that it was.  
  
In a small moment of clarity, it seemed right to come here. Spike had spent a hundred years trying to forget the ties that bound him to Angel. The fact was, in hindsight, they were coming full circle. The same demon that made him was going to kill him . . . again. He didn’t feel worthy of having such powerful blood in his veins. He had brought shame to the Aurelian line by allowing Riley to violate him. His Sire would understand that. Angel would be merciful and put down the wretched excuse and a waste of good Aurelian blood, right?  
  
Spike dropped his head back against the wheel well and stared sightlessly at the hotel. Now that he had a plan, he had to act. He just had to get up, walk proudly into the hotel and ask Angel to end it. He didn’t think he could live with the thought of Riley using him. It wasn’t like the things Angelus made him endure a century ago. He was 129 years old and knew the difference.  
  
Spike looked up at the sky and noticed it was starting to turn from pitch black to dark gray. He supposed he could stay here and dust in the sun, but somehow that seemed demeaning. He had to look Angel in eye, repent a century of transgression against his Sire before telling him of his disgrace to their bloodline and then feel the stake as it was plunged into his heart. It would be a proper death for a Master Vampire if he did say so himself.  
  
Spike’s battered body protested when he shifted. He grabbed the door of the car and pulled himself to his feet. He painstakingly crossed the street only to fall into the gate when he finally made it to the other side. He glanced up at the sky to gauge his progress. The dark gray sky was growing lighter with a speed that set his blood racing to find the nearest shelter. His bruised body, however, refused to move that fast.  
  
Spike limped up the stairs of the terrace that led into the lobby. He leaned heavily on the double doors and peeked inside. Angel’s humans seemed to be milling around. He gripped the handle, opened the door and slipped inside. He quietly shut the door and leaned back against it heavily, willing himself to stay on his feet. Angel looked up at the soft sound of the door latching and saw Spike. The blonde locked eyes with his Sire for several seconds before collapsing.  
  
Before Spike completely slid down the door, Angel had sprinted over and caught the blonde just as he fell to the floor. The elder vampire knelt down on the floor with his burden and gave Spike a cursory glance, noting the many bruises on his childe’s body.  
  
His bruised and aching muscles protested when Spike slowly shifted to get a better look at Angel through yellow demon eyes and a haze of pain. _He’s beautiful_ , Spike thought momentarily. He barely recognized his own voice when he said, “Sire, I’m . . . sorry. Please . . . stake . . . me.” Only then did he allow blissful oblivion to wash over him as he passed out against Angel’s chest now that he had followed through with Drusilla’s instruction.  
  
**************************  
  
Angel stared at his childe in disbelief. He had sensed a vampire on the premises but he hadn’t expected to see Spike literally walk in and fall into his arms. Had a century been so long he couldn’t even sense his own blood near him? He was still staring at what looked like his wayward childe. The dark bruising on the body in his arms were starting to heal due to vampire abilities. It puzzled Angel as to why Spike had shown up on his doorstep of all places. _What happened to him? Was Buffy in trouble?_   
  
“Dear Lord! Is that William the Bloody?” Wes was just as surprised as Angel to see the blonde vampire on the floor.  
  
Angel shook out of a daze and examined Spike more closely. _What had happened to make him come here?_ The younger vampire flinched when he touched his chin and turned his head this way and that to examine the healing injuries.  
  
“What’s wrong with him?” Fred asked curiously from her seat behind the desk. Beside her, Gunn had a weapon at the ready in case the intruder tried anything. Not that he would by the looks of it, but Gunn wasn’t taking any chances.  
  
“I don’t know,” Angel answered. “He looks beat up pretty badly.” He sniffed at the odor emanating from Spike. His eyes turned yellow and he felt Angelus growl inside him when he scented Buffy’s GI Joe boyfriend on his childe.  
  
Angel worked his arms around Spike’s body and lifted the blonde vampire up. Three faces stared in shock at Angel’s gentleness with the Master Vampire. He walked past his stunned co-workers and mounted the stairs. He turned when he heard Fred’s voice.  
  
“Angel, do you need help with him?” she asked.  
  
“No! Fred! He’s a killer! Stay away from him!” Wes and Gunn yelled in unison.  
  
Angel looked up at the former Watcher and Vampire Hunter. His eyes were still in his demon color. “He is my childe. He is my blood. I don’t know why he’s here, but something bad must have happened for him to come here for my help. I know how you feel about vampires. But, right now, I don’t give a damn. If you want to help care for him, great. If not, that’s fine too. But, keep your feelings outside his door. From what I understand from the Sunnydale crew, he’s had a chip implanted so that he can’t hurt humans. From the look and scent of him, he can’t defend himself from them either.” Angel turned his back on them and ascended the stairs to find a room for Spike.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
“Lilah,” Gavin Park crooned as he entered Lilah Morgan’s office.  
  
Lilah was at her desk typing up reports on the latest ‘case’ to cross her desk. She didn’t even bother to acknowledge Gavin’s entrance. Only when he waved a file folder in her line of vision did she even indicate that she knew he was there by snapping the folder out of his hand.  
  
“What’s that?” Lilah asked in a monotone voice.  
  
“ _That_ is what we collected on Angel in the last week,” Gavin answered with a smug smile.  
  
“Last week? What the hell are you doing? Sniffing around his building until he comes out and then stalk him everywhere he goes?” Lilah asked frustrated. She didn’t have time for Gavin Park’s games.  
  
“Yes and no,” Gavin said. “You remember those exterminators I sent over there to fumigate?”  
  
Lilah looked up with a smug smile of her own. “I remember Charles Gunn caught them in the act and kicked them out and then swept the premises removing all your little . . . _bugs_.”  
  
“Yes, well he forgot the hide-a-key camera in the entryway buried in the shrubbery,” Gavin said, quite please with himself.  
  
“So? What’s so special about that? You still can’t get anything useful,” Lilah said and flicked the file folder across her desk without even bothering to examine it.  
  
“Oh, but I did,” Gavin said. He opened the folder, plucked the top page out and handed it over. “This came in not ten minutes ago.”  
  
Lilah took the page and looked at it. It was a dark image and the colors seemed to blur into each other. There was a streak of white but that was all she could make out. “You can’t see anything Gavin, what is this?”  
  
“We’re not sure yet _who_ that is, we have the computer science department working to digitally enhance the image. We’ll find out soon enough.”  
  
“So, once again, you’ve managed to waste my time with nothing solid at all. Why the hell are you even working here?” Lilah asked with a confused expression.  
  
“Because Linwood thinks I have potential,” Gavin said as he puffed out his chest.  
  
“Linwood seems to be sorely lacking in the brains department,” Lilah said to herself.  
  
“What was that?” Gavin asked with a fake smile.  
  
Lilah returned it with a false one of her own. “Oh, nothing. Shut the door on your way out, would you?”  
  
Gavin gave a slight nod, left the room and closed the door. Lilah sat back and stared at the blurred image. She wondered who Angel’s late night visitor could be. A thought struck. She picked up the phone and punched a speed dial button on the console.  
  
“Get me Captain Ellis . . . South American division . . . I don’t care if he’s hip deep in swamp water hunting for demonic Anacondas. Just do it! Now!” She hung up the phone without saying goodbye and returned to her paperwork.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel had settled Spike in his room. He had thought of putting him in another room, but he wanted to monitor the younger vampire. The blonde was looking worse for wear. He remembered getting into a lot of scrapes with Spike, but none that had done more than tire him out. He would sleep a few hours and then he would be up jumping into the next brawl.  
  
Angel still was clueless as to what brought his childe to the hotel, but if the scents coming off him were any indication, Buffy’s commando boyfriend, Riley Finn, had something to do with it. Although, he had always known Spike to be a strong fighter no matter what situation he was in. He adapted easily to his environment. So, there was still no definite reason for his childe to come to the Hyperion.  
  
Leaving Spike to sleep, Angel went back down the stairs to get some blood. When he got to the first floor, he did his best to ignore the inquisitive eyes on him. He didn’t know what to tell them, and until he found out why Spike was here, it would stay that way.  
  
“How is he?” Fred asked.  
  
Angel couldn’t even answer that in a good way. “He’s still unconscious. I’m hoping the smell and taste of blood will rouse him. Maybe then I can get some answers.”  
  
At the mention of tasting blood, Fred and Gunn cringed. Their boss may be a vampire, but the discussion of heating and drinking blood still made them a bit squeamish. Angel made up a small tray of heated blood, about four huge mugs in all, plus a cup warmer that he could plug into the outlet by the nightstand in the bedroom. He ignored the surprised looks on his friends’ faces as he ascended the stairs.  
  
At his door, he nudged it open and shut it again with his foot. He carried the tray over to the nightstand and proceeded to set everything up while keeping an eye on Spike. The blonde was still asleep. Looking at him, using the lamp on the table made the bruises seem darker than they really were.  
  
Yes, Angel had heard about the chip, but he also heard that Spike had adapted fine with it. Angelus was growling inside though. Having that chip meant that his boy couldn’t even defend himself against humans. It sickened him to think that Riley Finn or anyone would pummel someone as severely as it looked like Spike had been.  
  
Angel wanted to know what had happened, but at the same time, he was glad Spike was unconscious then he could clean the worst of the blonde’s wounds. After setting a cup on the warmer, he went into the bathroom to retrieve the first-aid kit, cloths and bandages. Returning, he laid the items aside.  
  
Sitting on the bed, Angel set about the task of undressing his childe. His teeth clenched with every inch of bruised flesh that was revealed. How someone could be this brutal . . . even Buffy couldn’t have done this much damage to Spike. She wouldn’t beat a defenseless person or demon; not like this, would she?  
  
Angel made a mental note to burn Spike’s clothes later. There was no way he was going to walk around the stench of Buffy’s boyfriend all over him. He carefully examined his childe’s battered body and silently ticked off the many injuries. So far he’d come up with deep lacerations to the abdomen, which were in various stages of healing, three broken ribs, two others were cracked, his eye blackened, bleeding nose, not to mention bruising on his thighs, balls and . . . oh, fuck! He wouldn’t go that far. He couldn’t have gotten that far. Riley had a soul and he had beaten and used Spike. What the hell was Buffy thinking when she was dating this guy?  
  
Pushing Spike’s legs apart Angel set about carefully cleaning the blood from his childe’s frayed anal tissue. He gritted his teeth every time the blonde’s body protested his ministrations in one way or another. It was best to take care of the worst of Spike’s injuries while he was unconscious.  
  
Once he was finished, Angel pitched the bloodied and soiled rags into the trash. He returned to the bed and lay alongside Spike to watch him sleep. The knowledge that his beautiful boy had suffered such indignities at the hands of a human – and Riley, no less – made Angelus howl his rage. He had not made his William into a vampire for the amusement of humans. William the Bloody was not made to be chipped and degraded by a self-righteous bastard such as Riley Finn. He was made because Angelus wanted him to be his forever. Angelus would take back what rightfully belonged to him.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
“Why did you want a Svolte demon dropped in a small little town in Southern California, Ms. Morgan?” Captain Ellis asked.  
  
“To test the waters, Captain. Who did you happen to send up there?” Lilah asked absently as she stared at the blurred image again for the hundredth time since Captain Ellis had returned her call 20 minutes ago.  
  
“I sent one of my best extraction teams, Riley and Sam Finn,” Captain Ellis replied.  
  
Lilah opened a folder containing all the information the Records Department had on Buffy Summers. Skimming through the contents, she found where she had associations with Angel, his vampire family and later one Riley Finn. “Does Riley Finn have a connection to Sunnydale, California?”  
  
“Yes, ma’am, he went to college there and dated a girl who thought of herself as somewhat of a superhero.” There was a distinct edge to the Captain’s voice when he mentioned the Slayer.  
  
“Yes, we know about Buffy Summers, Captain. She’s outlasted previous slayers. However, she is not Wolfram and Hart’s main concern. Was Riley Finn ever associated with any of the demons in Sunnydale?” Lilah asked.  
  
“Yes, he used them as snitches, I believe,” the Captain said. “Why do you ask?”  
  
“Well, well, well . . . it seems your boy has delivered a package to LA sooner than I expected. Great work, Ellis. You should commend Mr. Finn for his efficiency,” Lilah said before she hung up the phone abruptly.  
  
Lilah stared at image of the white blur and said to herself, “Hello, Spike. I have plans for you and if I play my cards just right, I’ll have Angel right where Wolfram & Hart wants him.”


	6. Chapter 5

##  _Chapter 5_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel lay on his back beside Spike and stared at the ceiling. He debated whether to wait for Spike to wake up and tell him what had happened or to call Buffy and get her side of the situation. The very thought of dialing her number brought back a painful ache in his gut that he thought had long been buried. They were living separate lives now. He no longer held any sway in hers. In fact, the last time he had seen her was after Willow had brought her back. That was a meeting he did not want to _ever_ repeat again.  
  
Angel sat up and moved to a chair by the bed, falling heavily into it. He had cleaned Spike of both Buffy and Riley’s scent; but the odor was still strong in his nostrils. It made him feel like showering himself. He knew very little of what went on in Sunnydale, only gossip from Cordelia when she would call Willow for help with the computer.  
  
He’d only met Riley once two years ago and after the soldier had used a tazer on him in greeting he immediately didn’t like him. He had told Buffy as much. From what Angel understood, though, Riley had been out of the picture for a while now. So, why had he returned to Sunnydale and attacked Spike? His childe could be insolent and impetuous, but nothing to warrant this kind of abuse.  
  
 _Oh, come on Angel, you don’t remember trying to beat him into submission when he was a fledgling?_ Angelus whispered in his mind.  
  
 _That was different. I was trying to discipline him so that he would survive_ , Angel answered back.  
  
 _Yes, but it was so gratifying wasn’t it? All that blood streaming down that beautifully sculpted body, like a Greek statue he is, eh, Angel?_  
  
He couldn’t deny that. Spike did have a beautiful body that was chiseled and an angular face with high cheekbones that went on forever.  
  
 _And he looks great with the dripping blood; don’t forget about the blood_ , Angelus chuckled.  
  
 _Oh, shut up_ , Angel growled back, _I’m not like that anymore_.  
  
 _Is that so? Then what’s this image I see of you ripping Riley’s head clean off his shoulders for what he’s done to my boy?_ Angelus asked.  
  
 _A momentary lapse of reason? First instinct? I don’t know,_ Angel said.  
  
 _You really are a ponce, you know that? And here, I thought Spike was just saying that to piss me off_ , Angelus surmised.  
  
 _Are you through?_ Angel growled.  
  
 _That depends. Are you going to let a human get away with the rape and battery of my childe?_ Angelus asked.  
  
 _I have to find out what happened first and then **I** will deal with it_ , Angel said.  
  
 _A punishment by severe cuddling? Ooooh, scary!_ Angelus taunted.  
  
 _Do you have a suggestion?_ Angel asked.  
  
 _Eviscerating that corn-fed farm boy and whipping him with his own intestines doesn’t sound too bad_ , Angelus answered seriously.  
  
Angel shook his head to clear it. Damn Angelus.  
  
Spike stirred on the bed attracting Angel’s attention. He looked up to see sleep-blurred blue eyes watching him with an unreadable expression. Angel leaned closer to the bed and waited while Spike became more aware of his surroundings.  
  
“Hey, how are you?” Angel’s voice came out gravelly.  
  
Spike blinked and then blinked again. Angel was still in front him. When he had opened his eyes, he thought he was dreaming like when his mind had taken a trip down memory lane to see Drusilla. He vaguely remembered the drive from Sunnydale and now, here he was and Angel was beside him. He groaned when he shifted and the muscles in his body protested. “Sore as bloody hell.”  
  
The corners of Angel’s mouth quirked up at Spike’s answer. Well, whatever had happened hadn’t outwardly changed his childe’s devil-may-care attitude. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Why did you come here?”  
  
“Dru sent me here or, at least, I think it was Dru,” Spike said, his brow furrowed as if he were thinking too hard. It was the same expression Angel had when he brooded heavily.  
  
“Dru? Dru’s in Sunnydale?” Angel asked curiously. The last he had seen of his insane girl was a year ago when he had set her and Darla on fire.  
  
“No, I don’t remember where she went. She was in my head. She told me to come here,” Spike replied.  
  
Angel scratched his head. Spike wasn’t making sense or if he was, the story was coming out in fragments. He sighed inwardly. He could get through this. He just had to find out what Spike remembered and go from there, right?  
  
“Spike? What is the last thing you remember at all?” Angel enunciated every word so that the blonde understood the question.  
  
“My crypt was burned out because Buffy and Riley had bombed it. It had destroyed everything but Dru’s bed. Remember that four post bed she had?” At Angel’s nod, Spike continued. “I wanted to take it with me when I left Sunnydale but the damn thing is huge and even dismantled I didn’t have room in the Desoto nor the energy to do anything with it. Anyway, while I was looking over the damage to my home, Riley showed up. We argued about Buffy. I remember trying to deflect his fists, but the chip fired and nearly blinded me. Next thing I know, I’m standing in the house we had in Yorkshire and Drusilla was there with you, but you were Angelus. That’s when Dru told me to go to you.”  
  
“You don’t remember anything else?” Angel asked.  
  
“About which part: the house or the crypt?”  
  
“About what happened in the crypt,” Angel clarified.  
  
“Buffy had come in, wanted me to . . . and then Riley showed up. She took his side over me and they bombed my crypt after I left.” Spike said.  
  
“Spike, if you want me to help you, you have to be straight with me. What the hell has been going on up there?” Angel said as he massaged his temples. This was giving him a mild headache. It didn’t seem like he was getting anywhere. Spike was talking in nonsensical phrases and it was driving him crazy.  
  
Spike heard the exasperation in Angel’s voice. He sat up carefully and leaned against the pillows. “What do you want to know, mate? How far back do you want to go? Tonight? This year? Last year? Three years ago?”  
  
Angel rubbed his hand over his face. “Okay, I know that you were helping Buffy last year and developed some sort of fascination with her and that you continued to help her when Willow brought her back. But, why did she and Riley bomb your crypt?”  
  
“It wasn’t a fascination Angel. I loved – love – her. I don’t know exactly when I started to love her. I kept having these dreams last year about kissing her and making love to her, that’s when I realized it. I tried to deny it and fought against it. But you know what’s like to be around her.”  
  
Angel remembered what it was like to be around Buffy. It was sweet agony to be in her light. It was a torture on his senses. “Yes, I know.”  
  
Spike nodded and went on. “When Willow brought her back she was angry and broken. Those first few weeks she was back she would come to me. She’d tell me all the things she couldn’t tell her friends. Most of it was her feelings on being alive again. She’s different Angel. She’s not like she used to be. She’s harsher now. Two months ago, I found out the chip no longer worked on her. She was human and alive, but I guess with Red’s spell, it did something and the chip didn’t recognize her as human.  
  
“The night I tested it out, we fought and quite literally brought the house down around us. Then, she was kissing me and impaling herself on my cock. The next morning, she left threatening to stake me if her Scooby gang ever found out, but she kept coming back.  
  
“She’s been having money trouble, working in a fast food joint out on the highway. So, I went into a deal with a Glognok named Maurice selling Svolte eggs on the black market. I was gonna keep enough to tie me over and give the rest to her. She wasn’t supposed to find out where the money came from. Tonight, she showed up in my crypt out of the blue. I haven’t seen her for weeks. Of course, the time before she was literally invisible. So, she’s there in my crypt asking if I love her and want her and asking me to make love to her. After that, Riley showed up and saw her with me. He asked about the eggs. He searched the place and found them in the lower part of my crypt. Buffy turned on me. It wasn’t like last year when she told me I was beneath her. I tried to help her Angel. I . . . she used me and I let her because I thought that I could help her and she threw it back at me when her soldier boy came back toting a wife.  
  
“When she sided with him, I knew and I left. When I came back, I found out they had destroyed my crypt. Everything’s gone: mementos I had kept over the years, everything, except Dru’s bed.” Spike looked at his Sire in anguish. “I want to get Dru’s bed out of there.”  
  
Angel gave a slight nod in acknowledgement which made Spike sigh in relief. The dark vampire didn’t speak. What could he say? He was still mentally sorting all that his childe had told him. Spike loved Buffy and tried to help her, without a soul? Spike and Buffy were sleeping together? Buffy had used him . . . why? Riley showed up with a wife and saw Buffy in bed with Spike? Buffy and Riley destroyed Spike’s home? Riley still went after his childe and assaulted him?  
  
Of all the things Spike had told him, 2 of them kept bouncing around in Angel’s mind: Buffy used Spike and Riley had beat and raped him. Well, okay, 3 . . . Buffy and Riley teamed up and demolished Spike’s crypt. _Can you believe a word he says?_ Angel’s inner voice asked. His boy may be a killer and took advantage of situations to get what he wanted, but he had never lied about who he was and what he was about.  
  
“Sire?” Spike’s voice broke through Angel’s thought. It had been a hundred years since the blonde had called him that. It always came out in a voice that sounded so much like William. Well, not always, that one time on Parent-Teacher Night at Buffy’s school it came out every bit as angry as Spike was at the time. Tonight, though, it was back to sounding like William.  
  
Angel moved over to the edge of the bed and took a mug of blood off the cup warmer. He helped Spike to sit up and moved to recline against the headboard, letting the blonde lay back against him. He held the mug up in front of the other vampire. “Here, drink this.”  
  
Spike leaned closer to the mug and sniffed at it. “Cow mixed with your blood?” When Angel acknowledged the inquiry, the younger vampire tipped the bottom of the mug up as his Sire held it and swallowed. While his childe drank from one cup, Angel reached over and set another mug of blood on the warmer.  
  
Angel watched his boy drink and reflected on what Spike had told him about Drusilla guiding him in a dream. Or was it a hallucination? Of all his childer, Spike and Drusilla were the closest to each other. They never questioned Penn’s absence from the family except once in the early days of his banishment. He wondered if either of them felt it when Penn dusted. Normally, only Sires felt their childer. It was a keen sense similar to watching their childe’s life flash before their eyes and then a gut-wrenching feeling like something being ripped away from them when he or she was dusted. He didn’t know what it felt like to Spike and Drusilla. He wondered if they even remembered Penn.  
  
Spike pushed the empty mug away. “Would you stop? I can hear the Wheels O’ Brood turn in your head.”  
  
Angel smirked. His boy wasn’t one for tact. He set the empty mug on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. “Still hungry?”  
  
“Yeah,” Spike said.  
  
Angel reached for a second mug. As he went about getting a third one ready if it was needed, he asked Spike, “Do you know why Riley returned to the crypt after you found it destroyed?”  
  
“That git’s had it in for me since the beginning. Before he left last year, he’d threatened to stake me if I touched Buffy.” He stopped and glanced at Angel. “I don’t know what happened after the chip fired. I remember tousling with him and then I blacked out.”  
  
“Spike, you’re in bad shape. I’m trying to figure out how you got this way,” Angel said. He changed the focus a bit and asked, “What has been happening with Buffy then?”  
  
“I already told you Angel. We stumbled into a relationship of sorts,” Spike said, agitated. He had thought that he’d get satisfaction in telling Angel about his sexual relationship with Buffy as a way of showing him up for all those times he had been taunted by Angelus with Drusilla. But now, all it left was a bitter taste in his mouth.  
  
“Can you hold the cup on your own?” Angel asked. He had something to see to. Something that he felt needed his attention immediately.  
  
“Yeah, I can hold a cup on my own, give it here,” Spike growled. He grabbed the cup roughly, sloshing the crimson liquid on his hand. Spike leaned closer and licked the blood away before taking a sip from the mug.  
  
Angel nodded acknowledging that Spike would be fine on his own for a few minutes. He climbed out of the bed. He walked out of his bedroom and shut the French doors that divided the room from the adjoining sitting room. Walking over to the wing-backed chair, he picked up the phone and dialed a number he swore he would never use again.  
  
“Summers residence, Willow speaking,” a voice chirped over the line.  
  
“Willow? Hi. This is Angel. Is Buffy home?” he asked calmly.  
  
“Oh, hey! Yeah, she just walked in, just a sec,” Willow said. There were muffled noises and the faraway voice of Willow alerting Buffy to his call.  
  
“Hello?” Buffy soft voice came over the connection.  
  
 _Oh, God! Why did I call her?_ Angel thought. His chest hurt as per usual when he was near Buffy or even hearing her voice. There was a small bit of the teenage girl he had fallen in love with peeking through the maturity in her voice. He didn’t know if he could talk to her now. His own throat had become dry surprisingly quick when he heard her voice. _She used my boy and abused him. He’s mine!_ Angelus reminded him.  
  
“Angel?” Buffy breathed his name over the line.  
  
 _What to say to her?_ Angel pondered. _Tell the little bitch what you think of her fucking my boy to suit her own means_ , Angelus suggested. “Buffy? Spike’s here.”  
  
“Oh? I wondered where he disappeared to after the trouble he’s caused,” Buffy said.  
  
 _Trouble what trouble?_ “What trouble?” Angel asked.  
  
“Let’s see, where to start? Tonight? He had a stash of demon eggs in his crypt. Riley was here and he found them. It was so like Spike to have them. Then they hatched and we had to destroy them by using a grenade. Riley left after that.”  
  
 _I went into a deal with a Glognok named Maurice selling Svolte eggs on the black market. I was gonna keep enough to tie me over and give the rest to her. She wasn’t supposed to find out where the money came from._ Spike’s words echoed in his mind. Angel noticed that she wasn’t taking any responsibility for her part in the matter.  
  
“Spike says Riley caught the two of you together.” _That came out in a croak didn’t it?_  
  
“He did? Why would he say something like that?” She asked.  
  
Buffy sounded innocent, but Angel knew better. She didn’t expect him to believe that line did she? He was a vampire, damn it. He had picked up her scent all over his childe. He could even smell her dried cum on his boy’s genitals when he had cleaned the blonde up. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He didn’t know if he was more upset that Spike and Buffy were sleeping together or that she was using him for her own personal needs that had nothing to do with fighting demons.  
  
“Buffy. You’re an adult. The least you could do is tell the truth. What are you doing up there?” Angel hissed.  
  
“Where do you get off demanding that I tell you anything? You no longer have a say in my life anymore, Angel. You gave that up when you left me,” Buffy said angrily.  
  
“Look, what you do with your soldier boyfriend is your business. What you do with Spike is _my_ business. He’s my family and I want to know why the hell I can smell your scent all over his body. What the hell have you been doing in up there? Why did Riley go after him?” Angel asked through gritted teeth.  
  
There was silence on the other end. For a moment Angel thought Buffy would hang up on him. “Spike and I . . . we’ve been involved,” said in a small voice reminiscent of the girl she used to be.  
  
“Involved? That’s obvious from the smell of him. Just how ‘involved’ were you?” Angel asked.  
  
“You don’t know what it’s been like for me these past few months since I’ve been back, Angel. Spike was here. He was around. He was the only one I could talk to about where I was that seemed to understand,” Buffy said tearfully.  
  
“How involved were you, Buffy?” Angel repeated.  
  
“Physically and sexually. He . . . I took out most of my frustration on him,” Buffy was trying to explain.  
  
Angel rubbed a hand down his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Buffy, _his_ Buffy, had just admitted to him that she was _sexually_ involved with Spike. He knew he had been busy with the hell that Wolfram and Hart had made of his life, but where did he miss the train concerning his ex-girlfriend/mate fucking his childe?  
  
He remembered how distant she was when they had met after she was brought back. He could even understand her confiding in Spike. But from what his childe had told him, he assumed that the word ‘physically’ and the phrase ‘taking most of my frustrations out on him’ didn’t just include fucking him into the next century.  
  
“Buffy, I’m going to ask this once, and I want a straight answer from you,” Angel intoned. When he received silence, he took it as his cue to continue. “Did you do more than sleep with Spike?”  
  
“What do you mean? Did I beat him up? Yeah, he was fun to spar with. He gets on my nerves at times. It drives me crazy so I beat him up a bit,” Buffy said.  
  
“Why didn’t you just stake him if he drives you insane?” Angel asked.  
  
“Angel, he’s a big boy and can take care of himself. He’s annoyed us enough times over the years,” Buffy replied.  
  
That wasn’t what Angel was seeing when he looked at Spike now. Spike’s injuries didn’t come from a simple sparring session. It was an outright beating and he had been used. A simple sparring session, even one in which Spike described when he had tested the chip out on Buffy would not have left the strong scent that was now permeating his rooms.  
  
“I know he can take care of himself. I taught him that. What I don’t get is how _you_ would use someone for your own purposes. That isn’t like you, Buffy.” Angel said.  
  
“I’ve changed. I’m not like I used to be. Death can do that to a person,” she replied.  
  
“Yes, but death is not a good enough reason for how you treated Spike. From what I could get out of him, he has helped you and tried to help you through this ordeal and you fucked him, used him and then let Riley have him,” Angel growled.  
  
“He’s only helped when it’s been beneficial to _him_ , Angel. And what I do in my personal life is no longer your concern anymore. How Spike and I are with each other has nothing to do with you. And I never let Riley have him. I don’t know where you came up with that far-fetched idea!” Buffy was shouting into the phone with her rising anger.  
  
“I’ll tell you where I got that _far-fetched_ idea: there are multiple scents coming off of Spike that can only have come from sex. So, I guess after you were done fucking his body to work out your problems, Riley took over where you left off. From what I could get out of Spike, he returned to a burnt out home which you and your toy soldier destroyed and Finn showed up and beat him up. The chip fired when Spike tried to defend himself and Riley raped him!” Angel’s face had shifted into his demon while he was talking.  
  
“He’s just a soulless demon, Angel. Besides Riley wouldn’t --” Buffy started to say.  
  
“I’m going to find a way to get that chip removed so that Spike can at least defend himself,” Angel announced.  
  
“NO! You can’t! He’ll kill again! If you get the chip removed I’ll have to stake him!” Buffy cried.  
  
“Spike has more humanity and control over his demon than Angelus ever did. I won’t have him living with me and be defenseless against human scum like Riley Finn. As for your tin soldier, I’ll make him pay for the offense he has committed against my clan by going after Spike. He better pray it takes me a while to find him,” Angel growled and then punched the button that ended the call.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Sunnydale, Summers’ Residence_**  
  
Buffy heard the dial tone and stared at the phone as her body went completely numb. Angel had sounded so much like Angelus. He knew about her and Spike. Spike had told him about their – whatever it was that they had. Angel was going to have Spike’s chip removed. He was going to go after Riley. _Oh, God. I have to stop him before he has a chance to do any of it!_ With that thought, she hung up the phone, slamming it down on the base harder than necessary.  
  
“Willow!?” Buffy called as she rushed to get her purse, jacket and keys.  
  
“What is it, Buffy?” her friend asked.  
  
“I need you to watch Dawn for me. I have to go somewhere, but I’ll be back in a few days. It shouldn’t take me any longer than that. God, I have to stop him before he does anything,” Buffy babbled.  
  
“Yeah, sure, whatever you need, Buffy. But, what is going on? Who’s going to do what?” Willow inquired.  
  
“I can’t talk right now. I have to hurry. But, I’ll tell you everything when I get back,” Buffy said. She gave the redhead a quick hug and hurried out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Willow stared at the door in confusion.


	7. Chapter 6

##  _Chapter 6_

  
  
After Angel replaced the receiver on its base, he looked around the room. Well, that went well. It was never easy talking to Buffy. It was always angst-driven. Shaking the tense feelings away, he looked around for the telephone book. He couldn’t think about her now. Spike needed him. Locating the book, he flipped through the pages until he came to the medical listings. He skimmed through them only to find human doctors. There had to be a demon doctor somewhere in this city that could do the operation. Then a thought struck him… Lorne! The empath demon had connections everywhere.  
  
That decision made, Angel closed the book and tossed it on the table. He went back to the bedroom where Spike was finishing his third mug of blood with a fourth one warming. Seeing that his childe was doing well enough on his own, he let out a small sigh of relief.  
  
“Spike?” When he got the blonde’s attention, he said, “I’m going to get in touch with a friend of mine, are you going to be okay by yourself?”   
  
“Yeah, Angel. I’m a vampire in pain, not one of Dru’s China dolls. I won’t break. Just goin’ to lay here and let my bones heal,” Spike answered in agitation.  
  
Angel nodded and let Spike be. He left the room shutting the door behind him and went downstairs. He passed his co-workers who were all still stunned by his rapport with Spike. They watched him curiously as he walked into his office and closed the door. Grabbing the phone, he dialed the number to Caritas.  
  
“Yeah, Lorne? This is Angel. I need you to do me a favor . . .” Angel said.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Pacific Coast Highway_**  
  
Buffy had a lead foot on the accelerator. Once she got on the highway, she took her chances with driving without a license by pushing the speed limit. She had to get to L.A. to stop Angel from doing something drastic. She couldn’t let him unleash Spike. And, what was that about Riley raping the blonde menace? Riley had left town after they had said their goodbyes at the Magic Box. Spike had to be lying to manipulate Angel. What was he going to Angel for? They hated each other.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel hung up the phone after asking Lorne to find a doctor who could perform the surgery to remove Spike’s chip. Lorne had asked to give him some time to make contact and set up an appointment. Angel had to make preparations for the next step in harnessing Spike. He knew that once his childe was free he had to have a way to rein him in. Stepping out of his office, he leaned against the reception desk, reached over and grabbed a pen and paper.  
  
“Gunn, I need you and Wes to go to Sunnydale and pick up something from Spike’s crypt. He’s been living in Restfield Cemetery. Here are the directions to his crypt from the cemetery entrance,” Angel said as he jotted down a few things.  
  
“What are we going there for?” Gunn asked.  
  
“Drusilla’s bed. It was the only thing that wasn’t destroyed when his crypt was bombed,” Angel said.  
  
“About Spike, Angel … don’t you feel that we need to take care of him? We can’t have an unchecked vampire residing in the hotel. What if he attacks Fred?” Wesley was concerned.  
  
“Well, right now he can’t hurt a human. He has that chip in his head. He’ll be fine. He’s upstairs in my room. He won’t bother anyone,” Angel said.  
  
“We _are_ talking about William the Bloody? Angel, you can’t leave him here unattended. Of course, he’ll be a bother. He’s bothering me right now. Fred will be unprotected!” Wesley said.  
  
“Wes! He’s upstairs. He came to me for help and he’s wounded. He can’t harm a human not even to defend himself. He was beaten up and abused by humans. So, unless a human goes up there and poses a threat to him, he won’t be bothering anyone.” Angel’s voice had a hard edge to it.  
  
“What if he comes downstairs on his own?” Fred inquired nervously.  
  
“Then offer him some blood. It would be the only reason he’d come downstairs right now, if he could move without shifting broken bones that is,” Angel said offhandedly. He turned to Gunn. “Be careful dismantling and hauling the bed back here.”  
  
“Yeah, okay,” Gunn said. He didn’t know the full story on Spike, and was even wary of the vampire in their midst, but the blonde demon hadn’t shown any inclination that he could hurt anyone at the moment. If teaming up with Angel had taught him anything, it was that the world wasn’t always black and white. So, until Spike made a move against one of the group he would hold back . . . for now. “So, why are we getting a bed? This is a hotel, there are plenty of beds.”  
  
“Buffy and that soldier boyfriend of hers destroyed his crypt. It’s the only thing he has left, discounting what he had when he showed up here. Just do it, Gunn,” Angel explained tiredly.  
  
Once Wesley and Gunn were gone, Angel went into his office to research what he could do about Spike. Some stories were lore and some were myth. Granted he never had much of a handle on his childe as a fledgling. He had heard of a practice to impose a Sire’s will on a childe, something that wasn’t quite a thrall but close to it. There would have to be a stronger blood-link between them. Grabbing a book from a shelf Angel sat down to read.  
  
In the lobby, Fred went about her business researching ancient symbols on the computer for a translation on a scroll that Wesley found. She was conscious of another vampire in the building, but she also trusted Angel’s judgment. She was curious about him though. Pushing that thought aside, she went to Wesley’s office to retrieve a book.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Outside the Hyperion_**  
  
Buffy parked the Jeep outside the entrance gates to the Hyperion. So, this is where Angel had moved to. Willow had mentioned it to her some time ago after one of her phone calls from Cordelia. She got out of the car, locked the door and walked to the front entrance.  
  
When Buffy got inside the building, there was no one in the lobby. She scanned the perimeter and saw a mousy woman with brown hair in an office window. It being daylight, she assumed Angel was upstairs in bed. She quietly went up the stairs.  
  
On the third floor landing, she opened her Slayer senses to feel out where Angel was. There was a strong pull down the hallway to the right. She turned and carefully made her way down the hall.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Angel’s Bedroom_ **   
  
Spike had finished the last mug of blood and set the cup aside. He had heard Angel arguing with Buffy over the phone earlier. It had surprised him that Angel was defending him and had given Buffy the third degree about her actions towards him. He had thought his Sire didn’t care for him anymore, which was why he had scoffed when dream-Drusilla had told him to go to Angel.  
  
Spike shifted his body down to lay against the pillows. He needed to rest and let the blood work its magic. It wasn’t much for a complete recovery but it would work to slowly heal the wounds on his body. Feeling the pull of daylight on his vampiric senses, he closed his eyes.  
  
Buffy opened the door to the room, stepped inside and closed it again. It was a spacious suite consisting of a sitting room and a bedroom. Angel’s scent was strong in this room, but it also carried the scent of another vampire she knew.  
  
She carefully walked to the bedroom and saw Spike nestled in the full-size bed. Seeing the blonde vampire laying there brought to mind all the nights that she had sought him out and let him have sex with her. She thought it was degrading when she first started it, but now that she was standing in Angel’s room, it was even more so. All the wicked, delicious things she let this thing do to her body crept up to haunt her mind.  
  
Buffy moved closer to the bed until she was standing over a sleeping Spike. She pulled a stake out from under her jacket, raised the weapon and brought it down only to be stopped by a huge hand. Spike’s wide blue eyes stared up at her.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Angel’s Office_ **   
  
Angel had spent the last couple of hours reading over a ritual that he could safely use on Spike when the daylight hours got the better of him. He marked his place in the book and closed it. He wiped a hand over his tired eyes and stood up. Taking the book with him, he said goodnight to Fred and asked her to wake him when Gunn and Wesley arrived with Drusilla’s bed before he went upstairs.  
  
As he made his way to the third floor, Angel figured that he would check on Spike before crashing on the couch in his suite. Reaching the second floor landing, he picked up a vanilla scent. He knew that scent. It was Buffy’s. _What is she doing here?_   
  
Angel opened the door to his suite, stepped inside and closed it again. He looked around the sitting room and saw no sign of the blonde Slayer. He walked towards his bedroom and stopped dead when he saw his ex-girlfriend pull a stake out of her jacket. After that, time appeared to slow down for Angel.  
  
The dark vampire tried to move as quickly as possible, though to him, he didn’t seem to move fast enough. Angel grabbed her wrist just as the stake was mere millimeters from Spike’s heart. He stared at his boy in startled relief and blinked several times to make sure he was actually there and not dust. Spike stared up at him and the Slayer with wide eyes. It was the only response the blonde vampire gave to his near death.  
  
Buffy turned to face the person that had blocked her attack and met the dark hardened eyes of her former boyfriend. It was as if she was staring into Angelus’ cold eyes yet it was Angel standing beside her, and he had stopped her from killing Spike.  
  
Buffy still had a firm grip on the stake that was barely skimming Spike’s chest above his heart. Angel squeezed her wrist enough to loosen her grip and took the stake from her hand.  
  
“Hello, Buffy. To what do I owe the pleasure of your unannounced presence in my home?” Angel asked in a quiet and calm voice.  
  
“Angel,” Buffy said in her usual breathy way.  
  
Spike visibly relaxed when the fear of being staked in the next second was gone. His eyes darted back and forth between the former lovers. His inner smugness rejoiced at the thought of seeing his Sire and the Slayer argue and maybe fight it out. Outwardly, he was completely silent, still shocked at waking to see Buffy just about to stake him.  
  
Angel still held the stake, but he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the petite girl to answer his question. “Why are you here?”  
  
“I came to stop you from doing something stupid,” Buffy replied.  
  
“By staking Spike?” Angel asked.  
  
“You said you were going to take his chip out. He will kill again,” Buffy insisted. “I was going to take care of him.”  
  
“You’ve had numerous chances to dust Spike in the past and never taken them. Why is today any different?” Angel wondered.  
  
“He doesn’t have a soul, Angel. What’s to stop him from killing?” Buffy countered.  
  
“Me,” Angel stated.  
  
“You? You did _so well_ with Darla and Drusilla. Yes, I know all about allowing your family to kill those people in the cellar,” Buffy pointed out.  
  
“Those lawyers brought that massacre on themselves. I didn’t start it. I may have helped Darla and Dru a little, but they stopped on their own,” Angel said and then added with a smirk, “They both disappeared once they had no further use for Lindsey.”  
  
“Is he alive?” Buffy raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Unfortunately, yes. Though he took some sage advice and got the hell out of L.A.,” Angel replied.  
  
Buffy turned pleading eyes towards her former boyfriend. “Angel, please, you can’t take the chip out. You can’t go after Riley, I won’t allow it.”  
  
“Well, this isn’t about what you want. This is about justice. This has nothing to do with you. Spike tried to help you and you used him to make you feel better. Now that he’s here with me he shouldn’t even register on your radar. I failed in trying to save Darla. I refuse to fail with Spike. Your perfect boyfriend that you told me about a couple of years ago went after him tonight and assaulted him. As far as I’m concerned, Riley Finn’s no better than any other soulless demon.”  
  
“Spike is a killer. He’ll turn on you the second you take that chip out of his head,” Buffy whined.  
  
“So am I. We’re vampires, Buffy,” Angel said.  
  
“Yeah, but you have a soul, he doesn’t,” Buffy gestured toward the blonde who was shifting his sight between them as the banter went on.  
  
“So, you came here to kill him.” It was more of a statement. Angel looked at her as if he didn’t recognize the girl in front of him anymore.  
  
“It’s my duty. I have to kill him if he becomes a threat and he will become one if you remove that chip,” Buffy said.  
  
“The hell you will. I won’t let you stake Spike. He’s not in Sunnydale, and this isn’t the Hellmouth. He’s mine to deal with now. He’s not your concern anymore. As long as he’s in L.A., he’s under my protection. You lost the chance to dust him the second he crossed into the city limits. Go home,” Angel stated.  
  
“But Angel--” Buffy started to say.  
  
“No more, Buffy. You can’t keep showing up here every time it involves someone you don’t like. Go home! Live your life finally instead of languishing in the past. You have another chance at life . . . again . . . use it,” Angel advised.  
  
Buffy looked as if she were on the verge of tears. This conversation was so similar to one they had over Faith a few years ago. Why did Angel always take the other person’s side over hers? Where was she in the wrong here? First, he tried to save Faith now he’s saving Spike? Spike was evil. He didn’t have a soul to save. She looked at Angel’s stony face and then at Spike’s beaten and bruised face. Some of those bruises were put there by her but others were new. God, why did Riley have to pay Spike a visit before he left town? She and Angel wouldn’t be at odds now if he hadn’t assaulted Spike.  
  
“Is there no way I can get you to change your mind about Spike or Riley?” Buffy pleaded.  
  
“You’ve done enough damage to Spike. My plans and Spike don’t concern you,” Angel said gruffly.  
  
“Angel, you can’t--” Buffy started.  
  
“Go!” Angel ordered.  
  
Buffy turned around and Angel watched her walk away with a hard glint in his eyes. Once the door clicked shut he turned to his childe and his eyes softened. Spike hadn’t spoken during the whole discussion. Angel found that odd considering the blonde vampire loved to get his two cents in on any conversation going on around or about him.  
  
“How are you?” Angel asked concerned.  
  
“I’m okay. The bint gave me a scare when I opened my eyes to the sight of her with a stake to my chest,” Spike said. “She hated me, but she came to me all the same I guess as a way to punish herself. She thought that when she was ripped from heaven by the Scoobies her life is hell now. She took that out on me,” Spike explained.  
  
Angel sat down on the edge of the bed and glanced at Spike before he started to undress for bed. “I wondered why you seemed quiet. It’s not like you to not say something during a conversation. She’s going to have to learn live again. She was wrong to use you the way she did. You always had a lot more patience than I did.”  
  
“So, what was that argument about removing the chip?” Spike asked out of curiosity but also as a way to change the subject.  
  
“You need to be able to defend yourself at least and you can’t do that if the chip is in place,” Angel said.  
  
“Too right!” Spike agreed wholeheartedly.  
  
“So, I was researching ways in which I could do that and have a semblance of control over you. I can’t let you kill in my city,” Angel said.  
  
“I have to feed, Angel,” Spike said.  
  
“You’ll have to continue to bag it. If you want my help, you can’t hunt in L.A.,” Angel said.  
  
“So, I have to live off third-rate animal blood?” Spike asked.  
  
“Spike, more than pig and cow blood comes in a bag. There’s a blood bank I have a deal with when it becomes necessary,” Angel replied.  
  
“Fine, so what’s this ritual you’re going to use on me?” Spike asked with a sigh.  
  
“It’s to renew the Sire-Claim on you. Basically, it’s used to curb your tendencies,” Angel explained.  
  
“Yeah, cause you trying to control me has worked so well in the past,” Spike snarked.  
  
“Spike, I’m too tired to argue about this. Between the Sire-Claim, what little humanity you managed to retain after you were turned, your control and skills for self-preservation, it should work. Otherwise, I’ll stake you myself and be done with it,” Angel let the open threat hang in the air.  
  
Angel put on a pair of silk pajama pants. Spike watched his Sire closely as he moved around the bed and grabbed a pillow and the extra blanket on the end of the bed. Angel wasn’t going to sleep in the bed with him? Spike’s brow furrowed in confusion when that thought came to mind. Why should he want Angel to be near him? They hadn’t been _that_ close in a century. Spike shook his head to clear it and closed his eyes to try and sleep.  
  
In the sitting room, Angel was trying to do the same. Tonight’s events kept rolling in his head from the time Spike showed up to just a second ago. It’s been a strange night. He lay there with his eyes closed. He thought about what Buffy and Riley had done to Spike and his discussion with her while he waited for sleep to come.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
Linwood Morrow was entering Lilah Morgan’s office just as Gavin Park was leaving. The two acknowledged each other before Linwood shut the door and turned towards Lilah. She was sitting at her desk examining a photograph.  
  
“Lilah. What is your status on Angel?” Linwood inquired.  
  
“It’s going as planned, Sir. All the pieces are falling into place. The subject is inside the hotel with Angel. Now, we just let him get used to being there long enough to let his guard down and then we’ll make our offer,” Lilah said confidently.  
  
“Very good. It’s nice to see things are going right for a change,” Linwood said before leaving her again.  
  
Lilah returned to examining the photos Gavin had given her moments before. It was an obscured image of a blonde female. At least it resembled a female. She had entered the building at 8:45 a.m. The second photo was of her leaving at 9:15 a.m. As far as she knew, there were no blondes working for Angel. So, who was this person? Lilah shrugged and tossed the photos on the desk. She had more pressing matters than to indulge Gavin’s “Who’s Waldo?” game.


	8. Chapter 7

##  _Chapter 7_

  
  
Angel’s eyes popped open. A small indistinct noise had woken him. He looked around the room for a possible intruder but saw nothing. There! He heard it again. He tilted his head and listened. It was a sound between a whimper and moan. He sat up to listen better. It was faint even for his enhanced sense of hearing. Angel’s eyes widened when he finally figured it out: Spike!  
  
Angel leapt off the couch and hurried into his bedroom. The sheets were twisted around the blonde’s legs and waist. He was mumbling and moaning in his sleep. Angel sat on the edge of the bed and shook Spike to wake him.  
  
“Spike, wake up,” Angel called out.  
  
 _Spike didn’t hear Angel. He was still stuck back in the crypt. His body was jolting with every thrust Riley made and he couldn’t stop him. He bit into his tongue to stop the agonized screams that threatened to erupt and tasted blood. His blood. Aurelian blood. How did it come to this that an Aurelian vampire was taken down this way? If he made it through this he would beg Angel to end his existence. This was beyond embarrassing, beyond shame. This couldn’t be happening._  
  
Angel scented the blood. He examined Spike again. He could have sworn he had taken care of all the bleeding. Was there something he missed? Glancing up, he saw the blood trickle from the blonde’s mouth. _Oh, God! What if Spike had internal injuries that weren’t healing?_  
  
Angel grabbed Spike’s arms and shook him slightly. “Spike! Wake up! You’re bleeding all over my sheets, boy!”  
  
Angel thought the authoritative sound of the Sire would help. He stilled a minute to see if it registered with his boy. Never having been in a situation like this with Spike before he didn’t know how the younger vampire would react.  
  
 _“You’re bleeding all over my sheets, boy!” Spike heard faintly. Bloody hell, Angelus would have his hide for sure if he bled all over his 1021-thread count shimmering silk sheets. Spike tried to get out from under Riley but the soldier’s dirty nails bit into his skin anchoring him to the floor._  
  
 _“Angelus, I swear! I didn’t mean to! Help me!” Spike screamed in his mind._  
  
“Help me,” Spike mumbled in his sleep.  
  
Angel thought he was going to be sick. _Did vampires get sick?_ His boy was reliving something horrific and he couldn’t pull him out of it. Angel jumped back a little when Spike shifted into his demon as a defense mechanism against the thing in his dream.  
  
“Spike, I will help you, but you have to wake up!” Angel yelled hoping to break through the nightmare.  
  
 _“Wake up!” Spike heard faintly. What did they mean ‘wake up’? He was awake. He was awake and being violated again. A few seconds later it was over as Riley was thrown off him. Well, that was new. Spike looked up with wide eyes and met his Sire’s dark chocolate gaze._  
  
“Spike?” Angel asked tentatively.  
  
Spike growled, still in vampire visage. Angel shifted and growled back in command. Spike’s demon recognized his Elder’s position and calmed. Angel waited until the blonde shifted back to his human guise before letting his demon recede. They stared at each other. Neither one spoke.  
  
“Spike, are you in there?” Angel inquired softly.  
  
“Kill me, Angel,” Spike finally said.  
  
“No, I won’t kill you, Spike,” Angel said.  
  
“Angel, it’s the order of things. I have brought disgrace to the Aurelian line more than once. But, I think this is the last time. I’ve killed thousands of people. I’ve lived a much fuller life than I ever expected to. But, I can’t live with this. Kill. Me.” Spike said solemnly.  
  
“No! You are stronger than that. If you can survive Angelus’ treatment, then you can survive this,” Angel said.  
  
“That was different. You were different. I’ve brought humiliation to the Aurelian line. We were a force to be reckoned with, the four of us. But now, I have this bloody chip in my head and I’m weak. I allowed a human to violate me. You have to do what’s expected and kill me,” Spike said.  
  
Angel stared at Spike in horror. He shook his head frantically. “No! You didn’t _allow_ this to happen. It was something that was done to you. You’re stronger than him. You can beat him. I don’t care about the Lore. When have we ever followed Lore anyway?”  
  
“But Angel--” Spike started to contradict his Sire.  
  
“You are going to heal, and then I’m going to start that Sire-claim. After that, we’ll remove the chip. You’ll feel like your old self again.” Angel thought about what he had just said. “Well, not too old. There will be _no_ hunting in my city.”  
  
Spike bristled at the reminder. He looked away from Angel. He got the message. Just because the scene had changed, did not mean the rules did. Once he was free of the chip, he still couldn’t go after humans. Fine. He supposed Angel’s band of merry do-gooders couldn’t be any worse than the bloody Scoobies. He nodded in agreement.  
  
“What was that Spike?” Angel cocked a dark brow.  
  
“Yes, Sire,” came the begrudging reply.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Pacific Coast Highway_**  
  
Buffy was fuming as she drove back to Sunnydale at a normal speed this time. She couldn’t believe the scene she left in L.A. Angel was helping Spike . . . willingly! She blindly reached for her cell phone and punched the speed dial for Willow.  
  
“Hello?” Willow’s voice said distractedly.  
  
“Wills? I can’t believe he did that. He just kicked me out and told me to go back home. He’s going to remove Spike’s chip. I can’t believe this!” Buffy started in on a rant without a preamble.  
  
“Huh? Who? Did what? Spike’s chip is gone?” Willow asked confused as she only heard half of what her friend was saying.  
  
“Angel! He told me to go back home and live my life and not to worry about Spike! Spike’s a soulless demon, a killer and Angel’s helping him! Angel said he was going to remove Spike’s chip,” Buffy told her friend angrily.  
  
“Wait a minute, Angel kicked you _out_? He’s going to remove Spike’s chip and help him kill again? Who are they killing?” Willow asked through the static as Buffy had driven under an overpass.  
  
“Willow! Are you even listening to me?” Buffy asked agitated.  
  
“I’m trying to!” Willow said in her defense.  
  
“Never mind! I’ll tell you about it when I get home,” Buffy said and clicked off the phone. She continued to drive home, staring out the windshield with eyes hardened in anger and hurt that Angel had told her off and then told her to leave. He had no idea how hard it had been for her this past year being back from the dead. What the hell did he know about it?  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Spike had drifted back to sleep after agreeing _not_ to hunt in Los Angeles. Angel was starting to worry about him. Not over the hunting issue, but the nightmares that plagued his childe’s sleep. The blonde vampire had always been the type to bounce back from just about anything. But, with the dreams that caused unrest in his boy, Angel didn’t think that would happen this time.  
  
Making a decision to watch him more closely, the dark vampire lay down next to Spike and curled around the slight body protectively without putting pressure on any tender, healing wounds. The very idea that a mere mortal had knowingly used the younger vampire’s altered state to violate him caused Angel to grind his teeth in anger.  
  
When an unwitting growl escaped him, Spike echoed the sound in his sleep and burrowed closer until his Sire was half-covering his body. Angel felt his lips tug into a smile at the gesture. It was something William did when he was a fledgling. As he fell asleep, Angel made a mental note to talk to Lorne about what he could do to possibly ease Spike’s inner torment.  
  
The blonde vampire was surprised to find that Angel had stayed with him. They hadn’t shared a bed in over a century. He should have been angry or standoffish to know that Angel was curled up around him. It wasn’t like they had been close all the years. His Sire was full of surprises tonight: taking his side over his precious Slayer, vowing to remove the chip, effectively kicking Buffy out of the hotel, and now the poof was curled around his body. Did he mention how Angel told the Slayer off? Bloody brilliant that was! Instead of being offended as he normally would, Spike tunneled underneath his Sire’s big frame. In moments the blonde was drifting off to sleep and, for the moment, feeling safer than he had in years.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Guatemalan Jungle, Central America_**  
  
At the headquarters for the Army unit in charge of locating and neutralizing demons, Riley and Sam Cannon-Finn reported to Captain Ellis’ office to give a report on their progress in Sunnydale.  
  
“You two are alive and well, so I assume the mission was a success,” Captain Ellis noted.  
  
“Yes, sir,” they said in unison.  
  
“Was everything accomplished according to task?” the captain inquired.  
  
“We are sorry to say that the Svolte could not be neutralized, Sir. It seems there was an overzealous Vampire Slayer residing on the Hellmouth and she killed it . . . sir,” Sam said.  
  
Captain Ellis bowed his head at that news. “Ahh, it’s a shame. We were going to use that particular Svolte as a model to study the specimen more closely.” He looked up at two of his best specialists. “You say a Vampire Slayer killed it? How is that possible?”  
  
“She’s been protecting the Hellmouth for several years now and she’s quite good at her vocation,” Riley explained.  
  
Sam rolled her eyes, “Captain Can-do over here enlisted her help and forgot to mention the goal of our mission. She assumed we wanted the demon dead and broke its neck. However, upon further inspection, we discovered that she had already delivered her litter.”  
  
“An informant knew the demon who had the eggs and they were destroyed, Sir,” Riley broke in with a frown. He didn’t bother to elaborate any more than that. He still hadn’t told Sam about finding his former girlfriend in bed – or was that sarcophagus? -- with his archrival and a demon on top of it.  
  
After he had attacked Spike, he collected Sam and gotten away from Sunnydale as fast as he could. As long as he stayed to his assigned missions and kept a low profile, he thought he would be safe from anything Buffy or Spike might be planning to do in retaliation.  
  
“Well, that’s the good news I suppose. It’s so hard to keep a demonic population under wraps when the locals insist on advocating for the lives of these destructive things. Good work in any case. I’m sure you’re jet lagged. Go to your quarters and try to get some rest,” Captain Ellis ordered.  
  
Riley and Sam nodded to their superior and walked out of the room.


	9. Chapter 8

##  _Chapter 8_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel was changing his shirt when he heard a small knock on his door. Looking at a sleeping Spike one last time, he went and opened it to see Fred on the other side.  
  
“Hey Fred,” Angel greeted.  
  
“Hi, Angel, you wanted to know when Gunn and Wesley got back. Well they’re here. They’re bringing in the bed now,” Fred told him.  
  
“Thanks,” Angel replied. He stepped out of the room and followed Fred downstairs. As he stepped on the first floor landing he saw Gunn hauling in a piece of the bed frame and went over to help.  
  
“The place was a disaster, just one huge blackened crater. I don’t see how he could have lived there,” Gunn said.  
  
“Not many residential prospects in Sunnydale,” Angel replied.  
  
“So how is the fanged one?” Gunn asked.  
  
“Healing, he’s in pretty bad shape, broken and bruised bones,” Angel reported.  
  
“Yeah, so why is he here?” Gunn asked pointedly.  
  
“I’m the closest family he has. From what I could get out of him, Buffy and her friends wouldn’t have been any help. So, he came here,” Angel explained.  
  
“And this chip he has in his body . . . how reliable is that exactly? I just want to know if I’ll have to stake him soon,” Gunn inquired.  
  
“It’s reliable against humans so you’re safe,” Angel replied.  
  
Just then, they heard a scream. Angel and Gunn set the items aside and ran up the stairs with Wesley following close behind. They ran down the hall and barged into Angel’s suite. With nothing immediately amiss, their brows furrowed in confusion.  
  
Fred had come up to replenish Spike’s blood supply and hadn’t counted on finding Spike naked. The blonde vampire had the sheets twisted around his legs again and his bare ass was in plain view. The sight had startled her. When she screamed, Spike jolted awake and let the sheet tug down even further.  
  
“Bloody hell woman! What’s wrong?” Spike asked, looking around for an intruder.  
  
The action caused déjà vu as he remembered being awakened by Riley barging into his crypt to see him and Buffy together. He shook his head to clear the resulting images of what followed. Then, he looked at Fred to see if she was harmed in any way. Not that he cared, but it wasn’t good to neglect the people who were under the protection of your Sire, who is helping you out.  
  
“You okay, pet?” Spike inquired.  
  
“Yes,” Fred croaked. She cleared her throat before saying, “Sorry. You startled me is all.”  
  
There was a collective sigh of relief audible from the sitting room. What kind of monster did they think he was? He had a chip in his head preventing him from harming them. He was here because a human harmed _him_! He wasn’t going to do anything that would send him packing. It wasn’t like he could go back to Sunnydale. Buffy had made it clear in her actions with Captain Cardboard and again when she came here to stake him that he was no longer welcome.  
  
“I brought you some more blood,” Fred said as she held up the tray.  
  
“Thanks,” Spike replied.  
  
Angel, Gunn and Wesley had moved closer and were now watching the scene from the doorway between the rooms. Gunn and Wesley were edgy about the whole interaction. They were just waiting for William the Bloody to come to the surface. Wesley had read up on Spike’s past when he was a Watcher, but the vampire lying on the bed now didn’t resemble of the killer he had read about.  
  
Angel was merely watching his childe react with another girl that wasn’t Drusilla or Buffy. From the looks of things, Spike was guarded, but he was nice to her. This was good, though very uncharacteristic of the vampire he knew, to say the least. The blonde vampire was charismatic and flirtatious in nature, but Spike didn’t show any of those traits now. _What the hell did they do to him in Sunnydale?_  
  
“Spike,” Angel said quietly. When the other vampire turned to look at him, he went on. “Gunn and Wes brought Dru’s bed back. I’ll set it up in the room across the hall.”  
  
Spike nodded and settled back against the pillows more contentedly. He situated the sheet and blanket to cover his body decently. He didn’t feel comfortable with Angel’s pet humans seeing injuries that were gained in an attack but not in battle.  
  
Fred moved around the bed and set the tray on the night-stand beside Spike. He gave her one of his patented smiles and reached for a mug. He watched her over the rim of the cup as he drank his fill. When the mug was empty, he set it down next to the other 3 cups and shifted his body on the bed to lie down again.  
  
“Drink it all, Spike and then try to get some sleep. If you need me, I’ll be across the hall. I’ll let you know when the bed is set up.”  
  
Spike nodded again and Angel led the others out of his suite.  
  
**************************  
  
Angel, Gunn and Wesley hauled the bed up the stairs a few pieces at a time. It was times like this that Angel wished he had fixed the elevator. Once the frame and mattress were on the third floor, they spent another 3 hours cleaning out the abandoned suite. It was a mess. Years of dust and grime covered every surface. Wesley had to go downstairs several times for gloves and extra cleaning supplies. Once the old furniture and other unsalvageable pieces were taken out, Angel and Gunn started rebuilding Drusilla’s bed. Angel remembered when he bought it for her.  
  
**************************  
  
 _Sunnydale, 1998_  
  
 _Now that the hallowed out factory was gone and they were living in a mansion on Crawford Street, Angelus felt uncharacteristically charitable. He walked down the sidewalk with Drusilla beside him. She was staring in the shop windows with wide eyes as a child would. He was here because with the move to a new place, he felt the need to have new things go into it._  
  
 _Their first stop had been the fabric store for draperies in colors of deep purples, reds and blacks, and then it was a trip to the bed and bath furniture store. The economy in Sunnydale was so that everything was liquidation cheap. Drusilla had squealed when she first saw the bed and gave Angelus her best pout until he finally broke down and forked over the $875.00 for it. He thought about killing the cashier and taking the money back, but he wasn’t hungry so the kill would be a waste._  
  
 _Angelus arranged to have it delivered with a complete bedding and walked out of the store a thousand dollars poorer for his charitable efforts. It was so much better to be evil. This charitable feeling was getting him nowhere. He would make Drusilla pay him back with her blood and her body later._  
  
 _Drusilla was upset that her Sire wouldn’t let her try out the bed inside the store. Angelus couldn’t take that distraction knowing what his childe slept in. He’d end up having to kill everyone in the store after they had an eyeful of her. That would be just too messy for him to deal with right now. Not to mention that it would also attract the attention of the Slayer and he had plans for her later. For now, it was about furnishing the mansion._  
  
**************************  
  
Angel shook his head to clear his thoughts. He and Drusilla got a lot of miles out of the bed. He wondered why Spike had kept it. Angelus never allowed him to sleep in it since he had his own bed down the hall. He shrugged and concentrated on rebuilding the bed.  
  
**************************  
  
Spike drank the rest of the blood after Angel left. He was now trying to sleep again, but the memories were too fresh. If he closed his eyes, he saw what his subconscious had conjured up to haunt him. He knew he was out of it when it happened. He couldn’t tell if what he dreamed about really happened or was an illusion to make it that much worse.  
  
He had been around for 120+ years. He was old enough to be an ancestor to Buffy and her little troupe. He was a demon, inherently stronger than someone like Riley was even with the boy’s steroid-enhanced strength. He should have been able to defend himself in extreme situations. Yet, he couldn’t because of this bloody chip in his head that effectively fried his brain whenever he thought of harming a human. Being an awful poet wasn’t his weakness, it was this chip: bits of molecules and silicone that shocked him into submission.  
  
If any one of Angel’s crew ever came in here and staked him, he couldn’t do anything to defend himself. He had begged Angel to kill him; to end his existence but his Sire had refused. Why was he keeping him around, for entertainment purposes? Angel wanted a go at playing ‘Kick the Spike’ now that Buffy was done with him? Why did Drusilla send him here if all he was going to be subjected to was even more loathing?  
  
This was it. He couldn’t stand it anymore. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Riley sneering down with maniacal glee as he beat and used him. Just like Buffy did. When he was chipped, he learned to adjust to his situation. No more. Adjusting meant that you gave up your true nature and became something unrecognizable. That was what he had become. The chip had taken his life and Riley degraded it to something less. All he wanted was to be staked right and proper for bringing this much shame to the bloodline and Angel wouldn’t even do that! If his Sire wasn’t up to the task, then he’d do it himself.  
  
Spike threw the covers back and gingerly got out of bed. He winced at the feel of healing bones grinding in his body when he moved. _This being Angel’s room, he had to have weapons somewhere around here._ Limping around the room, he searched through drawers until he found a nicely carved stake.  
  
He went into the sitting room and looked around for something to hold it steady. He remembered trying this in Xander’s basement once. The whelp and witch boggled up the whole thing. Well, Angel and his humans were busy; no one was here to screw anything up now.  
  
Spike found a spring-loaded crossbow and cocked the stake into the notch. Then he proceeded to set it up at chest level and attach a drawstring to it. Taking the string, he stepped as far as way as the string would allow. He silently said his farewells to Angel and Drusilla and closed his eyes. He hoped it was quick.  
  
Just as he was about to pull the string, the door opened and startled him. Spike jumped and the stake went whizzing past his shoulder to embed into the wall behind him. He stared wide-eyed at the intruder and Cordelia stared back.  
  
“Spike, what are you doing?!” Cordelia asked.  
  
“I, uh . . . it’s none of your business what I was doing! I just know that I can never do it in peace. What is with you white-hats coming in the room in the nick of time anyway? Can’t a bloke just end his life in a dignified manner without one of you mucking it up?” Spike said angrily.  
  
“Angel, get in here!” Cordelia yelled. She wasn’t happy that Spike was here in the first place, but Angel said he needed help and that was Angel Investigation’s mission statement: _We help the helpless_ . . . even if they were hopeless, 80s-rejected vampires with no bite left.  
  
A few seconds later Angel, Gunn and Wesley were standing in the doorway. “What’s going on?”  
  
“He tried to stake himself!” Cordelia accused as she pointed at Spike.  
  
“Gee, I thought you would wanna help with the staking, cheerleader,” Spike said derisively.  
  
Angel stepped past Cordelia and into the room. He stood in front of Spike but his words were for the others. “You guys can leave. I need a moment with Spike.” When they looked skeptical, Angel looked over and tried to reassure them. “Nothing is going to happen. We just need to talk.”  
  
As the gang left, Angel and Spike continued to stare at each other. When the door closed, Spike’s eyes dropped in a silent act of submission to his Sire. Well, that and he couldn’t look Angel in the eyes. It was too much to see the disappointment in what he had allowed to happen. He was a Master Vampire, or used to be. He was childe to great Angelus. As much as he seemed to loathe it outwardly, he was silently proud of his heritage. The Initiative and Finn took that from him. He may as well be a minion now.  
  
“What were you doing, Spike?” Angel asked the bowed head.  
  
The gel Spike used on his hair had loosened, allowing some of the natural curls free. His fingers itched to run through them, but this was a time for discipline not gentleness. One minute he was putting the finishing touches on the bed frame and the next Cordelia was calling him in here because his childe had decided to do something drastic.  
  
“Nothing,” Spike answered. _Well it was true! I wasn’t doing anything that would warrant the poof’s concern these days. He should be happy that I was trying to off myself and laughing hysterically because I even failed at that._  
  
“William,” Angel spoke his former name in his Sire-tone.  
  
“I asked you to stake me, begged even. Why haven’t you? I’m a disgrace to the bloodline Angel! I can’t live like this! Not after what’s happened,” Spike said.  
  
“I’m not going to kill you Spike, and you are not doing yourself in either, for that matter. I told you I would fix it, didn’t I? I think Darla would have disagreed with you on the disgraced front. If you dust yourself now, that means Finn has won. Do you want that?” Angel asked.  
  
“I don’t know what I am anymore, Angel. This bleedin’ chip in my head has reduced me to nothing and then Riley on top of that? You don’t know what this is like!” Spike growled.  
  
“The hell I don’t! I still have Angelus’ memories. I remember everything he ever did to try to get you to break and you never did. You never once succumbed to something you didn’t want. Riley is a mortal. He’s flesh and bone and human. Compared to you he’s a child. So what if you have a chip in your head? You were able to adapt. I told you I would get the chip out once I could find a way to curb your tendencies. _Curb_ them not _stop_ them. All I’ve seen is weak-willed Willy since you got here. You’re a vampire, Spike! You’re William the Bloody! A 128-year-old vampire! Now, start acting like it!” Angel demanded.  
  
“129,” Spike corrected.  
  
“What?” Angel growled.  
  
“I said I was 129! You’d know that if you ever thought of me over the years,” Spike said.  
  
Angel took a deep breath to calm down. His gruffness was more from upset and worry over his childe than actual anger. Who was Spike to say that he never thought about him over the years? He thought about the blonde plenty. It was just that up until now he knew that Spike was fine and taking care of himself.  
  
“Okay, you’re 129,” Angel amended. “Look, we got the frame of the bed set up and Gunn was putting a new mattress on it if you’re up to inspecting it.”  
  
Spike nodded and Angel helped him over to the opposite suite. Spike felt a wave of relief knowing that the bed had come out of the disaster in Sunnydale undamaged. He had kept it as a link back to his family. When Angel left town a few years ago, he took everything but the furniture. Spike had felt a small sense of responsibility to the mansion for some odd reason and locked it up using the place as storage. Of all the furnishings in the house, Drusilla’s bed was the one thing he wanted to keep. The rest didn’t mean much to him other than memories he’d rather forget. The bed had seemed out of place in the crypt, but here in the hotel, it looked good, if not a little big for the space.  
  
“Thanks, Angel,” Spike said quiet enough that only the other vampire could hear.  
  
“You’re welcome. I’m still surprised you kept it,” Angel said.  
  
“Family heirloom, so to speak, I guess,” Spike shrugged.  
  
When the pain of standing became too much for Spike to bear, Angel helped him back to bed in his suite. As much as Spike seemed to appreciate having the bed in a proper bedroom, it wasn’t ready and he was in no condition to even leave the bed he was assigned to. How he had even gotten the strength to stand on his own feet for the foolish act that Cordelia caught him doing was lost on Angel.  
  
Once Spike was settled, Angel told him, “I’ll have Fred bring you some more blood later, for now _try_ to get some rest if you can and let your body heal. I’ll go finish helping Gunn and be back.”  
  
Spike nodded and lay down again as Angel left the room.


	10. Chapter 9

##  _Chapter 9_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
It had been two weeks since Spike had tumbled through the doors of the hotel and begged for Angel’s help. The nightmares were still bad, leaving the blonde to a restless sleep.  
  
The bed had been finished, and the room set up for Spike the day after his suicide attempt. Angel had moved him into it two days later, but when Spike woke from a nightmare, he still crossed the hall and crawled into Angel’s bed. The dark vampire took note of it every time he felt the bed dip under Spike’s weight. He didn’t think it was healthy to have his childe rely on him this way. He had to talk to Lorne. Maybe the empathic demon could tell him what to do. As it stood now, Angel felt like his hands were tied.  
  
During this current brooding session, Angel watched Spike interact with Fred and Cordelia at the reception desk. The blonde had started coming down a week ago. Angel didn’t say anything of it. But, he knew his childe. Where he, himself, enjoyed solitude; Spike was a social creature. He hated being alone even before Riley attacked him. Angel didn’t know how he survived in Sunnydale where he was always cut off from other people.  
  
If anyone saw Spike when he was awake, they wouldn’t think anything had happened to him. The injuries had healed and outside of a few lumps still mending; his skin was back to its smooth marble appearance. He came down during the day to heat his own blood and sit alone, appearing smaller than his 5’10 frame. Fred had started to draw him out by sitting with him and telling about her time in Pylea. She probably saw herself in Spike after what had happened, though no one spoke of it. Essentially, Spike was physically fine. However, his psyche was another matter. Angel didn’t know how to fix it.  
  
Seeing that his childe was all right with his friends, Angel went into his office, picked up the phone and dialed a number.  
  
“Caritas, how can I help your future,” Lorne greeted.  
  
“Lorne, this is Angel. Is it okay to bring Spike over so you can maybe help him? I’m at a loss for what to do.”  
  
“Sure, Angel cakes. Nothing better than reading a fresh aura, especially after Zolar the Corrupt Gorkon demon butchered _Wind Beneath My Wings_. Oh my God, my ears are still bleeding from that. There was nothing good going on in his future, let me tell you.”  
  
“Well with a name like that, I don’t think there would be. Thanks, Lorne,” Angel said and hung up the phone.  
  
He peered out the window that separated his office from the lobby and saw Spike smiling at something Cordelia and Fred were telling him. It was a genuine Spike smile. It had been a long time since he saw Spike without the Big-Bad attitude sneer he always had. Even if Angel was at a loss for how to help him where it mattered, at least the change in scenery had helped Spike. He seemed more relaxed now. It pained Angel to know that Spike didn’t sleep so well. He joined his friends in the lobby and leaned against the reception desk.  
  
“I thought we might go to Caritas tonight as a little celebration,” Angel announced.  
  
“Celebration for what?” Gunn asked.  
  
Angel was stumped there. What could he say that wouldn’t set Spike off negatively? His childe wasn’t one for pity. He may be unguarded at night, but the blonde wouldn’t want to draw attention to what had happened to him.  
  
Cordelia saw Angel’s inner struggle written all over his face and said, “Gunn, do you really need a reason to go out and have a drink with your co-workers. I think a night out is just the thing we all need.”  
  
Angel gave a grateful look toward Cordelia and then turned to Spike to see his reaction. The blonde just shrugged and appeared to go along with the rest of the group. He gave a sigh of relief that his childe didn’t notice the real reason they were going.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Caritas_**  
  
It took a bit of time, but the group finally convinced Spike to sing and have Lorne read him. He was currently on stage while Lorne sat with the group at one of the tables watching the blonde vampire.  
  
When he was ready, Spike nodded toward the bartender to start the music and began to sing, _“Day for day, year for year . . . I'm waiting to sense you once again . . . Where were you . . . When I longed for you . . . Where were you . . . When my inner being died . . . I see smoke, patches of fog . . . Darkness clothes me well . . . Where were you all the years . . . Where were your signs . . . The search for you is the loss of . . .You.”_  
  
Lorne watched the singer and saw the anger, pain, resentment and a mixture of other emotions pour out through the song. “Ooh!”  
  
Angel sat up, all his attention on the Host. “He came to me a few weeks ago after a couple of people used and beat him. I’m the only family he has. He has nightmares and I . . . I don’t know how to fix it; to fix him. I need to know what to do.”  
  
Lorne turned and looked at Angel. He saw the same haunted look that he saw in the blonde. “You sired him. The bond is thick between the two of you. Though, I’m sensing a feeling of loss, separation. You left him when you were cursed.”  
  
Angel shook his head. “I didn’t know what else to do. Darla banned me from the family after I got my soul. He misses his true Sire, Angelus, maybe. But, I can’t be him.”  
  
“Could of have fooled me, Angel cakes. What with the dark, brooding cloud that’s been hanging over your aura since Wolfram & Hart set you on a killing spree last year,” Lorne commented.  
  
“Can we get back to Spike, please?” Angel looked up at his childe on stage.  
  
 _“Where were you . . . When I longed for you . . . Where were you . . . When my inner being died . . . I am smoke and a patch of fog . . . Darkness does not see me . . . I was your own sign . . . That I was searching for all the . . . Years.”_  
  
“He doesn’t know where he belongs. Whoever hurt him wanted him gone from their life – permanently. For a demon with no soul, I sense that he’s better with a companion. He may portray being a loner and carefree, but he needs ties. You have to become that tie or an anchor if you will.”  
  
 _“Where were you . . . When I longed for you . . . Where were you . . . When my inner being died . . . The search for you is the loss of . . . You.”_  
  
“He’s in so much pain right now, Angel. It makes your cursed soul look like a cakewalk. You need to show him that you’re different from those around him and even from the way you were before.”  
  
“How do I do that?” Angel asked.  
  
“You ever hear the old saying, ‘actions speak louder than words’?” Lorne took a sip of his drink and left the table, Angel watching him walk away.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Angel Investigations_**  
  
When they got back, Spike immediately disappeared upstairs again. Lorne never volunteered to repeat what he told Angel, and Spike didn’t ask. Angel sighed. He went about finishing work on some case files that had been put aside since his childe’s arrival and then went upstairs to shower.  
  
When Angel finished showering, he walked out to his bedroom while towel drying his hair. He had not seen nor heard anything from Spike since they got back. He still wasn’t used to his childe being withdrawn. The younger vampire always had a zest for life even though he was a soulless demon. The Spike he knew was loud and obnoxious. The vampire in his place was quiet and accommodating. Spike had never been accommodating unless it concerned Drusilla. He may look and dress like his wayward childe, but the demeanor and actions thus far were purely William.  
  
Angel dressed in a pair of lightweight sweatpants and went in search of Spike. He could feel that the younger vampire was still on the same floor. Opening a door and quietly walking into the room he had designated for Spike, he scanned the dark room and saw the orange glow of the tip of Spike’s cigarette through the gossamer curtains. Angel silently shut the door and walked over to the open doors that led to the balcony.  
  
Spike was perched on the balcony railing looking out at the L.A. nightlife. To Angel, it looked like he only took a drag of the cigarette when he remembered he had it. This quiet introspective vampire was definitely William. Angel watched him for a few contemplative moments before testing his theory.  
  
“William?” The old name rolled smooth and soft over Angel’s tongue.  
  
“The lounge lizard told you that I was irreparable, didn’t he?” Spike asked quietly.  
  
“He didn’t say that. He said it would take time,” Angel replied. _It wasn’t what Lorne said exactly, just what was implied._  
  
“Thank you that I’m a vampire then, all I have is time,” Spike said sadly.  
  
Angel looked down at his bare feet. What could he say? His purpose was to save people, help them, save their soul if he needed to. He had no clue how to save Spike or help him. The resigned note in his childe’s voice seemed so _final_. Outside of hunting down Riley Finn, which he planned to do anyway . . . what else could he do?  
  
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the sun,” Spike’s voice floated to him.  
  
Angel looked up and saw his childe’s beautiful angular face turned up to the moon. “That is to say, without sizzling like bacon,” Spike said as an afterthought.  
  
Angel watched Spike silently. The moon cast a silvery-blue shadow over his face, creating dark shadows in the indent of his cheek and making his cheekbone look like a razor edge. In the moonlight, Spike bright blue eyes were silver-blue color, like ice. Everything about his childe was hard and sharp edges. Angel thought about what Spike would look like in the sunlight and imagined it would be a breathtaking sight.  
  
“You’re beautiful in any light. It’s why Angelus spent so much time drawing you in the past,” Angel said quietly.  
  
“You say that as though you aren’t him, like he’s not inside you,” Spike commented.  
  
“I’m not him,” Angel stated.  
  
“When you fight do you change?” Spike asked as he took a drag on the cigarette.  
  
“Sometimes,” Angel answered.  
  
“Then he’s still there. You can’t completely forget him. He’s your defense. He’s what you draw on when you’re fighting or angry. He’s what you unleash in retaliation,” Spike explained. “I don’t have that luxury anymore. I’m not a man and this chip in my head won’t let me be a monster. I'm nothing. I merely exist, an abomination of God and the Devil. I can’t be one or the other. I should be able to waste away to dust . . . someday.”  
  
Angel closed his eyes as he listened to Spike talk. A few unnoticed tears slid down his cheeks and dried on his face in the light evening breeze. He remembered how he felt when he was first cursed with the soul: helpless, not belonging to either world. He told Buffy once that he could walk like a man though he wasn’t one. But, Spike’s situation was different. The initiative raped him of his true nature and Riley raped him of everything else. Angel remembered his William as a timid poet who wore his whole heart on his sleeve and underneath was the beautiful killer that Angelus cultivated in his own image.  
  
Angel stepped up behind Spike and wrapped his arms around his chest and waist in a quiet act of possession. Spike lifted the cigarette in silent offering. Angel took a deep drag to calm himself and slowly let the smoke linger out of his lungs through his parted lips. Spike took a drag on the cigarette, and felt comfort when his Sire hugged him tighter.  
  
“You aren’t nothing, Will. You’re my childe. There’s no shame in coming home when you need to. I think that walking through the hotel doors to seek me out was the bravest thing you ever did,” Angel whispered in Spike’s ear before burying his face in the curve of his neck. He inadvertently licked softly at Spike’s turning mark.  
  
“I had no other choice. I’m defenseless,” Spike said quietly.  
  
They stood silent and watched the city lights for a long time before Angel softly said, “Come inside with me.”  
  
Spike flicked the cigarette over the balcony and turned in Angel’s arms. His Sire let go of him only to hook a couple of fingers in the waistband of his jeans and guide him back inside the bedroom. He stopped next to the bed and started to undress Spike. Angel removed the duster and tossed it on a chair near the bed. Then he tugged the black t-shirt up over Spike’s head. When he got ready to unbutton the black jeans, Spike’s fingers curled around his wrist.  
  
“What are you doing, Angel?”  
  
“I’m taking the first step in giving back your choice. I’m helping you take that first step in taking back your life,” Angel said simply.  
  
Spike’s fingers released Angel’s hand to resume unzipping the jeans. The dark vampire crouched down in front of Spike to unlace his boots and pull them off before sliding the jeans off his narrow hips and down his legs. Spike stepped out of his pants and stared down at Angel in wonder. He didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like he could even if he did know what to say. He remembered that Angel said it would be on his Sire’s terms and he’d agreed to that. He wasn’t a Welsher.  
  
Angel stood up and pulled his sweatpants off. Then, stood there nude and looked at Spike. He didn’t do anything as a way to sway Spike’s decision. He ignored his hardening cock and waited for Spike to make the first move.  
  
“I don’t know what to do, what you’re asking me to do,” Spike said. Angelus had always been the dominant one, the conductor of their sex life in the past. Being the dominant one with women was different. He seduced them easy enough, but the vampire before him was different matter. Angel, though souled now, was his Sire.  
  
“It’s your choice, Will. Whatever you want to do, however you want to touch me or have me touch you is your choice,” Angel said.  
  
Spike placed his hands on Angel’s stomach and slowly moved them up over his chest, rubbing his fingertips over the pebbled nipples. He let out a relieved sigh to himself when he heard Angel’s intake of breath. He walked around to his Sire’s back and pressed his torso against it.  
  
Spike crouched down and then slowly stood up as he ran his tongue along Angel’s spine to the broad shoulders. He thrilled inside when Angel shivered against him. Then, he traced the outline of the Gryphon tattoo, following his fingertips with his tongue before pressing his cheek against Angel’s back.  
  
Those years Spike had bitched about Angel, he had let himself forget what his Sire was: the protector of their clan. The broad shoulders and muscle that cushioned his cheek now were a comfort once upon a time. Even though, Angelus was a vicious killer and sadistic Sire, he always protected them; even when it was Spike that had gotten them into trouble.  
  
The blonde vampire moved around in front of Angel and ran his hand down the elder vampire’s arms to his hands. They were powerful arms, and big hands. For 20 years, Spike had personal knowledge of what those hands were capable of. The pain and suffering they could inflict. Those hands would be put to a different use tonight. Spike lifted Angel’s hand and brought it to his mouth as his tongue darted out and licked his Sire’s fingertips.  
  
Angel moaned softly as he watched Spike leisurely tongue his fingers. He had stood still when the younger vampire had explored his back. He’d never experienced that before. No one, not even Spike before now, had been so intimate with him as to touch him everywhere. He had a number of women score their nails down his back, but they never touched it the way Spike just did.  
  
Spike released Angel’s hand and stepped closer, nuzzling into his Sire’s neck. He scented him, breathing him deep until he all he could smell was Angel around him. Then, he let the last of his defenses down. He pulled away and looked up at Angel.  
  
“Kiss me. Show me what it’s like to feel wanted instead of being used for giving pleasure,” Spike requested. He shuddered when the thought of being used by Buffy passed through his mind.  
  
Angel placed his hand on the back of Spike’s head in another silent act of possession, bent his head down and pressed a kiss against his childe’s lips. He pulled away slightly to run his tongue over their fullness. When Spike’s lips parted on a moan, he slipped his tongue inside to explore the depths.  
  
To Spike, this kiss was so different from the dominant way Angelus had kissed him or Drusilla’s softness. It also lacked the angry passion of Buffy’s kiss. This kiss was slow and intense. It caused a burn to start in his belly and spread its fingers out to the rest of his body. He had to grab Angel’s waist for support.  
  
When Angel felt Spike’s hands on his waist, he pulled away and looked down into the blue eyes. His childe stared at him with intense eyes before dipping down to put his mouth against his chest and teased the nipple with his tongue, causing Angel to moan.  
  
As he teased Angel’s nipple, he reached down, wrapped his fingers around Angel’s cock and stroked the length. He stroked leisurely, testing the girth and feel of it in his hand. He had inwardly willed his Sire to touch him and then moaned into the other vampire’s skin when he felt Angel’s hand slide down his spine.  
  
Angel felt Spike melt against him when he whispered, “I only want to make you feel again. I want to show you that it can be different, even between us. You aren’t a thing. You aren’t here to be used. I’m not Angelus. I’m not going to hurt you.”  
  
Angel grabbed Spike’s shoulders and directed him backward toward Drusilla’s bed. They both climbed under the covers and lay on their sides staring at each other.  
  
Angel ran his thumb over Spike’s cheekbone. “Will you let me touch you?”  
  
When Spike nodded, Angel pulled him closer and kissed him in the same manner as before. He reached down and stroked his childe’s burgeoning cock as he licked over Spike’s cheek. The blonde arched his neck when Angel moved down to kiss along the column and then down over his chest and hard, muscled stomach.  
  
“Angel!” Spike cried when he felt his Sire’s cool mouth engulf his erection. Then, he felt a wet finger tease the outer ring of muscle of his ass. His fingers tightened in Angel’s hair at that.  
  
In some strange way, Angel was offering Spike another choice: either thrust his hips forward into the cool mouth or press back onto the teasing fingers. This was becoming too much. In any relationship he had, his partner had always been in charge. His partner dictated everything. This was completely different. He felt weird like something momentous was happening and he’d miss it if he blinked.  
  
“Angel, please.”  
  
Angel heard him and slowly pressed his fingers in, gently stretching him as he sucked down Spike’s length. He felt the other vampire arch his body and then start rocking between his fingers and mouth. Angel sucked softly, allowing Spike the freedom to move his hips, and letting his childe fuck himself on his fingers and mouth. Angel wanted Spike to know he was able to choose how this night would go. He wanted his childe to know that it was his choice in how he wanted his Sire to reclaim him.  
  
Spike growled with the slow intensity of Angel’s attention and released in his Sire’s mouth. He felt the other vampire swallow around him. Then, the fingers left his body and Angel crawled up the bed to lie beside him again.  
  
“I want you to be inside me when you renew the claim,” Spike said.  
  
“Okay . . . are you ready now?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“After tonight the Sire-claim will be in place and tomorrow I’ll make preparations to remove your chip,” Angel said.  
  
Spike nodded and, when Angel directed him, rolled over on his stomach. Angel looked around for something to use as lube and ended up going to the adjoining bathroom for lotion. He had promised Spike that it wasn’t about pain, and he meant it. Going back to the bed with lotion in hand, he straddled Spike’s hips and set the bottle aside. He massaged the tension out of his childe’s back for a few minutes and then grabbed the bottle again.  
  
Angel spread the lotion on his fingers and proceeded to get Spike and himself ready. When that was done, he leaned over the blonde vampire and asked, “Ready?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Angel slowly pressed his cock inside the tight ring of Spike’s ass. His childe hissed when the head of his cock cleared the outer ring. He helped the blonde onto his knees and then sucked on his turning mark as he pushed deeper inside. Angel worked his hips steadily until Spike was moaning rhythmically with his thrusts. He reached around and wrapped his fingers tight around the blonde’s shaft, giving Spike something to thrust into. As much as Angel wanted to pound into the other vampire, he wouldn’t. This time Spike was in charge.  
  
“Now, Angel!” Spike panted as he came closer to orgasm.  
  
Angel vamped and quickly struck Spike’s neck over the turning mark. As his fangs slid deeper into his childe’s neck, his cock thrust in as deep as it could go.  
  
“Angel! Sire!” Spike growled as his body convulsed around and against Angel, his come releasing all over the sheets under him.  
  
Spike’s orgasm heightened his arousal and he panted out, “Do you accept the claim?”  
  
“Yes!”  
  
Hearing the affirmation, Angel roared again as he bucked against Spike, finally releasing the pent up orgasm. He carefully pulled out of the younger vampire and collapsed beside him. As Spike drifted off to a restful sleep, Angel stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out a way he could help Spike overcome what Riley and Buffy had done. He knew one night of tenderness wasn’t enough, but he also worried about becoming Spike’s crutch. Then he thought of what he knew of Spike and how he dealt with things, and dismissed the crutch idea. Spike wasn’t one to dwell on thing once he got past them. His boy would be fine once this was all over.  
  
Onto phase two . . . .


	11. Chapter 10

##  _Chapter 10_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel slowly opened his eyes and turned to see Spike still asleep. The younger vampire’s brow was furrowed and his eyelids were fluttering as if he were dreaming. Angel reached over and caressed his hand down Spike’s torso. The blonde started to convulse and nearly threw himself out of bed with his outburst of flailing arms and legs. Angel acted on impulse, immediately wrapping his arms around his childe’s chest and dropping his leg over Spike’s.  
  
Spike growled in pain as if his chip had gone off like it did before when he tried to defend himself, but nothing happened. His Sire was, essentially, dead, but that didn’t stop the alternate reality of the vivid dream from seeping through. Spike felt himself be hauled back against a solid body.  
  
“Shh, Spike. It’s just me, Angel,” the voice whispered in his ear.  
  
“Don’t call me that. I’m not Spike anymore. I can act like Spike around your humans, but . . . Spike can take care of himself and is able to defend himself,” Spike said.  
  
“All I have left to call you is Will, then,” Angel said quietly.  
  
“Okay, but, only you. You’re my Sire, you’re allowed to call me that,” Spike said.  
  
“Can you tell me what he did?” Angel asked.  
  
“I told you, all I remember is that he came to the crypt after he and Buffy had bombed it. We exchanged words over her, and he started in on me. I tried to defend myself, but the chip fired and the pain was so bad, I blacked out. Then, all I remember was I was in this dream-like state with Drusilla and she sent me here,” Spike explained.  
  
“Okay,” Angel said quietly.  
  
“I was a vampire. It’s all I’ve known for 129 years. I’ve had a lot of victims in that time. I always thought of myself as a fair demon. It’s why I enjoyed the fighting. I gave them a chance to fight back before I inevitably killed them,” Spike said.  
  
“You’re still a vampire, Will. You’re still the same demon I made. However, I think you’re more refined with age. I promised to get the chip out and I will. Then, you’ll be back to your old fighting self again,” Angel said, after a moment adding, “Minus the killing.”  
  
Spike burrowed against him. “How soon until I can get it removed?”  
  
“If it were up to me, I’d say right now. I’ll have to call a couple of contacts today and let you know,” Angel said, nuzzling his childe’s neck.  
  
Spike closed his eyes and reached down to Angel’s hand banded around his waist. Grabbing it, he slid the hand lower to curl around his shaft. He groaned when his Sire began sucking on the new claim mark as he leisurely stroked his cock.  
  
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Angel mumbled against his neck.  
  
“You said you wanted to make me feel again. Was it only for one night?” Spike asked.  
  
“No, it was meant for more than one night.  I just didn’t expect you to want to so soon,” Angel replied.  
  
“I’m not human,” Spike stated.  
  
Angel groaned when Spike started rocking into his hand and grinding back against his throbbing shaft. The dark vampire had to grit his teeth to keep from rolling the blonde over and taking him in hard, deep, penetrating thrusts. The demon inside him was fine with giving comfort – for a little while, but then it wanted to dominate the weaker demon inside Spike.  
  
“Fuck, Spike. You’re going to make me come, and I’m not even inside you,” Angel growled softly.  
  
“That’s what happens when you live your life as a monk,” Spike replied as he continued to jack off in his Sire’s hand.  
  
Angel laughed quietly against Spike’s neck and rocked his hips, rubbing himself off against the other vampire.  
  
“Angel, get me off with your teeth,” Spike suggested.  
  
“You want me to bite you, feel my fangs penetrate you so you can come?” Angel whispered hotly.  
  
Spike growled softly at the words. He heard the bones shift in Angel’s face as he changed and then felt the prick of fangs against his neck. The grip on his cock tightened when his Sire bit down, gently opening a vein. He arched in cat-like grace against Angel when the fangs slid deeper, relaxed and then pushed deeper into his flesh. The sensation was enough to heighten Spike’s arousal. He reached behind him and grabbed Angel’s cock, stripping it hard and fast in tandem with Angel’s stroking of his shaft.  
  
Angel growled against Spike’s neck as he shot his release over his lover’s ass and hip. The feel of his Sire’s orgasm triggered his own and Spike came over Angel’s fingers.  
  
They laid there for a few moments in the blissful afterglow before Angel carefully retracted his fangs and shifted back to his human visage.  
  
“Is that what you wanted?” Angel asked softly.  
  
“It’s what _you_ wanted. You forget that I’ve known you forever. We share the same demon. I knew he—it—you couldn’t go long without needing to dominate. And, being the masochistic demon that I am, I enjoyed it . . . as you can tell,” Spike replied dryly.  
  
“It wasn’t supposed to be about me, Will. It’s about you,” Angel said.  
  
“Do you think I would have suggested it if I didn’t want it?” Spike countered.  
  
Angel rested his forehead against Spike’s back. His boy knew him. He knew Angelus wanted him just as Angel wanted to possess him, and his childe had offered it without Angelus forcibly taking it from him. Angel kissed the nape of Spike’s neck in gratitude.  
  
“How about we get a tattoo for you, kind of a celebration on your new path in life?” Angel suggested.  
  
“What would I get?” Spike asked.  
  
Angel lazily caressed Spike’s back over where he imagined the tattoo and thought for a moment. "How about the triskele? It’s a triple spiral, a symbol composed of three interlocked spirals. The spiral is an ancient Celtic symbol related to the sun, afterlife and reincarnation. It’s drawn in one continuous line, suggesting a continuous movement of time.” As he explained the tattoo, Angel moved his fingertips along Spike’s shoulder blade in an imaginary design of the symbol.  
  
“Okay,” Spike conceded.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
The two vampires took separate showers and went downstairs. After a breakfast of heated cow’s blood, Angel disappeared into his office and Spike went to see if Angel’s humans needed help. It wasn’t that he was actively helping, but he wasn’t the type that could sit still for long periods of time. He was used to helping Buffy and the Scoobies; this was just a different version. This group didn’t constantly remind him of his handicap whenever they got the chance. He felt more like Spike around them.  
  
Inside the office, Angel picked up the phone and dialed a number, then sat back and waited for it to pick up. After five rings it did. “Hello?”  
  
“Frank? I need to call in a favor. I need you to find a Riley James Finn for me. Yeah, he’s supposedly in South America working for some government branch to eradicate demons down there. Yeah, well, he made a special trip back to the states and attacked Spike. Yes, that Spike. He’s okay. He’s regressed to William a little bit. Well, when you do find him try to leave him in one piece, otherwise I don’t care what you do to him.”  
  
Angel finished the call and leaned back in his chair. He steepled his fingers under his chin and started to brood. He knew for sure Frank could find Riley. The Boraro demon could track anything. He’d known Frank ever since Angelus and Darla went to Brazil and rampaged through an earthquake disaster. They’d kept in touch over the years.  
  
The phone rang again. Angel picked it up. “Angel Investigations, we help the . . . never mind, who is this and what do you want?”  
  
“Well, is that any way to answer the phone?” Lorne asked.  
  
“Sorry, Lorne, it’s been a strange morning. What do you have for me?” Angel asked.  
  
“I pulled some strings and got you a surgeon who could perform the operation on your love childe,” Lorne said.  
  
“My love--? Huh? Never mind. How soon can I get Spike in?” Angel asked.  
  
“Right away if you have a mind to,” Lorne replied.  
  
“Thanks,” Angel said and hung up. Walking out to the lobby, he grabbed his coat and threw Spike his duster.  
  
“Oi! Where are we going?” Spike inquired as he shrugged into the duster.  
  
“To see a doc about an exam,” Angel said as he walked out of the building.  
  
Spike hurried to catch up with him when he heard the convertible start. He jumped into the passenger seat just as Angel put the car in gear and drove off.  
  
“We’re really going to get my chip out right?” Spike asked as he lit a cigarette.  
  
“That’s the plan,” Angel replied.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Somewhere in Los Angeles_**  
  
“It’s a townhouse,” Spike commented as he looked up at the building.  
  
“This is where Lorne directed me,” Angel said as he got out the car.  
  
He walked up the steps and looked back when Spike didn’t follow him. “Are you just going to sit there all night or do you want that chip out now?”  
  
Spike got out of the car and followed Angel up to the front door. The dark vampire rang the doorbell to the sound of chimes. After a few minutes, an impeccably dressed demon opened the door.  
  
“Hi, I’m Angel and this is Spike, Lorne sent us here to--” Angel started to say.  
  
“We’ve been expecting you, Mr. Angel,” the demon said and bowed as he allowed them to enter.  
  
Angel and Spike exchanged a look and stepped inside the foyer. The dark vampire gave the interior a cursory glance before turning to the butler. “Lorne didn’t tell me the doctor’s name, but he said he was able to remove the chip implanted in Spike’s head.”  
  
Spike dropped his head in embarrassment and stared at the floor. After what happened to him, he was self-conscious about the chip. He took a moment to compose himself before he looked up and focused on to the conversation.  
  
“His name is Doctor Gregory. If you’ll just follow me, I’ll take you to his lab,” the demon said.  
  
Angel and Spike followed the demon to the back and out of the house, entering a laboratory that at some point in time must have belonged to Dr. Frankenstein. As they entered, a man in a white lab coat spun around on his stool to see who his guests were.  
  
“Ah, Mr. Angel I presume? Lorne said you’d come as soon as possible,” Dr. Gregory said. He turned to the blonde vampire, “And you must be Spike. Lorne never said you two were so handsome.”  
  
“Excuse me, Doctor, but you don’t look like a demon,” Angel commented.  
  
“Looks can be deceiving, young man. I happen to be a thousand years old,” Dr. Gregory said with pride.  
  
“You’re an immortal?” Spike asked.  
  
“I’m not a vampire like you. I’m Asclepius,” Dr. Gregory said.  
  
“Wait a minute, your parents named you after the Greek God of medicine?” Spike asked.  
  
“Not really. I _am_ him. A man’s got to have a hobby when you’re as old as I am,” Dr. Gregory said.  
  
“But, if you’re Asclepius, then that would mean you are much older than a thousand years and you wouldn’t even have a last name,” Angel commented.  
  
Dr. Gregory gave them a ‘duh’ look. “If you’re going to live on a civilized planet such as Earth, then you have to learn to assimilate to its customs. As vampires, you should know that as well as anyone. As for my age, an immortal has no need to divulge his true age.”  
  
Angel and Spike just stared at him in awe. “So, do you know Glory?” Spike asked.  
  
“Unfortunately, Glorificus was part of Hades’ Court. It was regrettable that she broke out of her prison and caused so much destruction to a lot of human lives in trying to get back home,” Dr. Gregory said.  
  
“As much as I’m in complete awe of having a discussion with a God, can we please get back to why we came here?” Angel asked.  
  
Dr. Gregory nodded. “Now then, I think you came to have a chip removed? How on Earth did it happen that you had it implanted in the first place?”  
  
“Some military wankers grabbed me a couple of years ago and put it there,” Spike replied.  
  
“Well, we’ll see if we can’t get it out. Take your coat off and lie down on the table,” Dr. Gregory instructed.  
  
Spike did as instructed and kept his eyes on Angel. The dark vampire moved around the table to sit next to him. “Is this going to damage him permanently?” Angel asked.  
  
“If I were a human, I couldn’t give you guarantees. But, since I’m not, I’d say he’ll be just fine after a couple days rest when I’m done. Give the area time to restore itself,” Dr. Gregory answered as he gathered his instruments and sat down to work.  
  
“I know vampires thrive on pain, but I’m not that sadistic. I’m just giving you a local anesthetic to dull the nerves and then we’ll have that chip out in no time,” Dr. Gregory assured them.  
  
Spike heard him, but kept his eyes on his Sire. He owed Angel a lot for this. His Sire trusted him enough to have the chip removed, and he would give anything his elder asked in return.  
  
Time passed slowly as the doctor worked to get the chip out. From the answers to Angel’s intermittent questions, they found the chip’s wires were intricately woven around Spike's cerebral cortex and imbedded snuggly against the brain. They learned also that the chip was starting to decay, and if Spike kept it in for another year, it would have fried his brain to mush. Just before Dr. Gregory removed the chip, he gave the blonde vampire a heavy sedative.  
  
When it was removed, Angel asked for the tiny piece of plastic that had hindered his childe for so long. It was tiny, damaged, and full of wires. Angel pocketed the chip and picked Spike up in his arms. Before he could leave, Dr. Gregory’s voice stopped him.  
  
“Take him home. The sedative should make him sleep for 72 hours; it’ll give his body the time it needs to heal.”  
  
“Thank you, Doctor. We’re indebted to you for your kindness and your expertise,” Angel said and then left with his unconscious burden.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a slightly graphic dream sequence of some of the rape, you have been warned

##  _Chapter 11_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Angel watched over Spike for three days. Three long days spent brooding over the circumstances in which his childe had shown up. He also worried about what Spike would be like after having the chip for so long and then it finally being removed. Angel knew what it was like to have a newly-made childe wake up the first night above ground. But, he didn’t know what to expect with Spike. It wasn’t just the reaction to being free after so many years either. Spike’s reactions were impulsive no matter what.  
  
 _Spike was trapped in a sedative-induced nightmare. He was back in his crypt again being held down while Riley Finn used him. He knew that he never felt the rape in reality. But, it seemed that his subconscious still remembered every detail._  
  
 _Dirty, human hands held him down._  
  
 _Dirty, human nails dug into his cold flesh to anchor him._  
  
 _The dry, sawing sensation as the human thrust into him roughly._  
  
 _The smell of his own blood as the human’s use of his body broke the tender flesh of his insides._  
  
 _God, he wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out to Angel or Drusilla, anyone to get the sweaty human off him. He wanted to scream for the human to get out of his body. He wanted to kick and thrash and bite. He wanted to rip the human’s head off and drain the bastard._  
  
 _This was **nothing** like his Sire had done before. Yes, Angelus was rough and had fucked him dry before. But, that was different. The way with his Sire was somehow different._  
  
 _Then, he felt the human grab his dick and strip it, trying to force an orgasm out of his unconscious body. No! No! I refuse to release like this. I swear I won’t ever look at another human in a sexual way again. From now on, they are strictly there for food._  
  
 _His body tried to force the intruder out. He tried to crawl away from the human, but his attacker refused to let him go. He kept calling Spike names and yelling about touching a girl with his demon filth. The young poet he once was wanted to cry, but he refused to show his assailant that weakness._  
  
 _Angel! You gotta to help me! Please!? For hell’s sake, I’m sorry about everything I ever said about you. HELP ME!_  
  
“Angel!” Spike yelled so loud that he bolted upright in bed and thought he heard his own voice echo from the dream.  
  
Angel was beside him in seconds, his cool hands grabbing his arms. That coolness was the only thing that stopped Spike from recoiling at his touch. He had left his childe for a moment to see about something Cordelia wanted. When he came back, Spike was thrashing about on the bed, screaming. He’d never heard his boy scream like that before. The only thing Angel could compare it to would be a wounded animal caught in a trap and snarling his anger while trying to break free.  
  
“Spike, are you . . .? Never mind, dumb question,” Angel muttered softly.  
  
Spike’s response was a hysterical laugh that mimicked one of those windup toys. The blonde shook his head as he continued to laugh to himself. He knew he was going crazy. He thought the dreams were slowly driving him insane. God, he couldn’t live like this. That thought sent him into another fit of hysterical laughter. _What the fuck did God care? There was no God for demons. Demons had no redeemable qualities in the eyes of God. Angel’s redemption was a farce!_  
  
Spike didn’t tell Angel that though. The hysterical laughter slowly died until Spike was left in a shivering mess, with his arms around his drawn up knees, rocking as he whimpered.  
  
Angel stared at the wreck that resembled his childe. He was at a loss for what to do. He didn’t know how to deal with the aftermath of rape. Sure, he’d raped and killed many of his victims when he was evil. But, he had never been on this side of it before.  
  
He took in Spike’s appearance. First thing’s first, Spike’s nightmare had made a mess of both the vampire and the sheets. Angel went into the adjoining bathroom and turned on the faucet to the tub. Once the bath was drawn, he went back into the bedroom and collected Spike. He got his childe out of bed and made him walk into the bathroom. He helped the blonde into the tub. Once he was settled, Angel went back to the bedroom and changed the sheets.  
  
Angel dropped the soiled sheets in the hamper and went back to the bathroom. Sitting on the floor beside the tub, he reached a hand into the water for the washcloth and soap. Lathering the cloth, Angel proceeded to wash the clammy texture away. The last time he saw sweat this bad on a vampire, it was on himself after Faith had poisoned him.  
  
“I should have remembered,” Spike whispered; his voice hoarse from screaming.  
  
“Should have remembered what?” Angel asked as he continued to wash his childe.  
  
“What Angelus tried to teach me all those years ago,” Spike replied. “‘Humans are not meant for anything other than what they are. They are prey to us, nothing more.’ I should have remembered that . . . before I tried to make Buffy like me. Before I fell in love with her . . . or thought I did.”  
  
“Not all humans are prey. You met Cordy, Fred, Gunn and Wesley,” Angel commented.  
  
“Demons can’t love without a soul, that’s what she told me. That I’m a soulless, evil thing,” Spike said in a faraway voice. “But, I loved Drusilla.” He looked at Angel. “You’re the one with the fluffy soul, can you love?”  
  
Angel stopped his movements and thought for a moment. “Anyone can love. A soul is just a conscience. It gives you the choice of caring about what’s right or wrong.” Then, his own voice faltered. “It makes you regret all the bad things you’ve done.”  
  
Spike shuddered when a slip of the dream fleeted across his mind. It would be a long time before he let another hot, human body near him. The thought of it made him feel claustrophobic, which was ironic considering the places he’s been: a coffin, the crypt, small, dank hotel rooms and abandoned buildings. However, the warm water felt nice and Angel’s cool hand soothed him. Not that he’d ever admit that.  
  
Which begged the question: why had he come here? Yes, Drusilla’s apparition sent him here. But, why was he here? He and Angel barely tolerated each other. Thinking back on their existence together, when had Angel or Angelus ever shown him anything that remotely demonstrated any sort of caring? His Sire didn’t want him.  
  
“When I’m healed enough, I’ll leave,” Spike said suddenly.  
  
Angel stopped washing and looked at him. “Where would you go?”  
  
Spike shrugged. “Probably find Dru.”  
  
“Spike, you don’t have to leave here,” Angel said as he resumed bathing his childe.  
  
“Why would I stay? You don’t want me and I would be in the way here. Besides, as Buffy can tell you, I wasn’t really all that much help. I was there, so they made use of me.”  
  
Angel closed his eyes. There was that word again. They _used_ him. She _used_ him. Riley Finn _used_ him. “You can always help out here. You’re getting along with the team. You’ve helped with some of the demonology and research. You can help out in the field.”  
  
He tried to reinforce the word _help_ instead of _use_. His boy wasn’t meant to be _used_ for anything. Okay, Angelus used him. But, it was different now. He was giving Spike a choice. The blonde vampire was free of the chip now, he was free of Sunnydale. Soon, he’d be free of Riley Finn. Spike had been vibrant, energetic, and loved life with a devil-may-care attitude. It was painful to see him so withdrawn. Then again, he never thought he’d see the William persona again.  
  
“I was never good at saving damsels. It was never my thing,” Spike said. “I’m not atoning for past sins.”  
  
“It doesn’t have to be about atoning or redemption. You can do it as something to break the monotony,” Angel suggested.  
  
Angel wrung the water out of the cloth and set it aside, then drained the tub. He stood up and got undressed. Then, he helped Spike to stand and got in to turn the shower on. He washed himself quickly and then turned his attention to Spike’s hair.  
  
Several minutes later, they finished the shower and dressed. Angel led Spike down to the lobby and down to the training area in the basement. Spike looked around at the room while Angel got the mat out. He looked up to see his childe’s wide eyes.  
  
“Nothing can hurt you down here. It’s just you and me,” Angel reassured him.  
  
Spike nodded as he focused on the dark vampire.  
  
Getting into fighting stance, Angel said, “Now, I want you to come at me.”  
  
“You want me to do what?” Spike asked disbelieving.  
  
“I want you to attack me,” Angel repeated.  
  
“Why the bloody hell would you want that?” Spike asked.  
  
“Just do it,” Angel said exasperated.  
  
Spike went after him with a punch that he blocked and another that hit dead on in the shoulder.  
  
“Again,” Angel instructed.  
  
Spike hit him with an upper cut, a jab to the kidneys, and a glancing blow on the cheek.  
  
“Again,” Angel said louder.  
  
As Spike attacked him with another series of punches, Angel did little to stop him, only blocking a few that were close to seriously hurting him.  
  
“Come on, Spike, I taught you how to fight. You can hit harder than this. I need to know you’re in top shape to have my back in a fight,” Angel taunted him.  
  
Spike growled and went after him again, hitting his Sire in the side of the ribs, stomach and chest. Angel danced around him, blocking a few of the harder blows, but not hitting back.  
  
“All that pain and anger you’re feeling towards Buffy and that army bastard of hers. Use it! Attack me!” Angel taunted him.  
  
He blocked a few more punches to the midsection, but missed the left hook Spike delivered and it rocked him back. He kept up the verbal assault though, reminding Spike of what he supposedly let happen to him.  
  
“Finn locked you up . . . he stuck a chip in your head . . . he threatened you . . . he beat you beyond recognition and raped you . . . he made you a disgrace of your clan! What are you going to do to get that back, huh?”  
  
Spike’s eyes turned into the yellow of his demon and his fangs dropped. He went after Angel, punching his Sire in the stomach and ribs. Angel grabbed his wrist when he delivered another punch and twisted around to jab Spike in the right side of his rib cage. Spike retaliated by twisting back around and busting Angel in the chin. By now, Angel’s own demon had come to the forefront.  
  
Angel wrapped an arm around Spike’s throat, but the blonde used his smaller body and his Sire’s bulk to flip him over his back. Angel landed on his feet and twisted around with a kick that Spike ducked. Crouching to the floor, Spike did a half turn and kicked out, knocking Angel to the floor. He rolled over on top of his Sire and held the dark vampire’s wrists down on the mat. His jaws opened for the bite when he stopped and stared down at Angel through yellow eyes.  
  
“Why’d you stop?” Angel asked as his demon receded.  
  
Spike followed suit. “I was going to bite you.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“Are you insane? I can’t bite you!” Spike said indignantly.  
  
“You said earlier that humans were nothing but prey. So, finish it!” Angel said.  
  
“You’re not prey! You’re my Sire,” Spike said angrily.  
  
“When has that ever stopped you before?”  
  
“Fighting you is one thing. Being upset and angry with you is one thing. Wanting to kill you is one thing. I’m not worth your blood!” Spike said, releasing Angel’s wrists as he sat up.  
  
“Oh, for the love of . . .” Angel pulled his collar away and cut into his own neck with a fingernail. “Take it!”  
  
Spike just stared him and then stared at the welling blood in the wound. He shook his head, backed off of Angel and towards the corner of the mat. Angel sat up and moved over to him. Spike tried to get away, but Angel grabbed the back of his head and forced his mouth over the wound. “Now, drink, damn it!”  
  
Spike tried to refuse, but a small amount of the enticing blood slipped into his mouth and his tongue darted out to lick the wound. He moaned and grabbed onto Angel’s shoulder and back, pulling him closer. Then, his fangs dropped again and he sank them into the wound.  
  
Angel lowered Spike to the mat and lay over him. He didn’t go for his own bite. Instead, he chose to let Spike feed and grind his burgeoning erection against him. Angel was actually relieved to feel the hardened length against him. The couple of times he and Spike were together, there had been a lot of stroking to get his childe hard and to stay hard during sex.  
  
Angel reached between them, tugged the buttons loose on Spike’s jeans and reached inside to pull his erection out. Then, he tugged his own pants down his hips, releasing his own cock. Spike whimpered and groaned when Angel tightened his hand around both erections and started stroking.  
  
Angel groaned when Spike sank his fangs in to the gum line. He continued to stroke them, letting the blonde’s rocking hips set the pace. Then, he started whispering encouragement.  
  
“William, my boy, my sweet childe . . . I made you for me. I didn’t make you for her or her amusement. You were never made for the intention of being chipped and made into a sideshow freak. I made you into an exceptional killer . . . taught you to fight with the grace of a cat. You were never to be used as a sexual plaything for mortals.”  
  
Spike groaned into his feeding and rocked his hips with his Sire’s stroking. His grip on Angel’s shoulder and back tightened as he whimpered.  
  
The dark vampire stroked faster. “Come on, Spike. What happened to the Big Bad? Don’t tell me he’s completely lost to William.” Angel nipped at Spike’s ear and sucked gently on the lobe. “Come out; come out, wherever you are . . .”  
  
Spike growled, twisted his body and rolled Angel over onto his back, straddling the older vampire. Then, he pulled free of his Sire’s neck and sat up, blood dripping down his mouth and chin, trailing down his neck. He reached down and replaced Angel’s hand with his own, stroking harder with the other vampire thrusting up against him. The dark vampire grabbed his shirt and yanked him down, immediately locking his lips over Spike’s mouth and tasting his own blood.  
  
Angel pinched and tugged on Spike’s nipple through the shirt, causing the blonde to moan into the kiss and grind against him. Angel broke the kiss and moved Spike up a little. When he bit the nipple through the shirt, Spike opened his mouth on a silent scream as his forehead and arm hit the mat. Angel reached down and squeezed Spike’s hand tighter over their cocks and stroked faster until he had the blonde convulsing over him just before their orgasm released between them.  
  
Spike rolled off his Sire, but Angel didn’t remove his hand from him. Instead, he rolled over onto his side facing his childe. When Spike started to panic, he immediately released him. Whatever Riley did to his boy was traumatizing him even after what they just shared. Granted, Angel wasn’t expecting miracles. But, as he watched Spike fasten his jeans to hide his dick, the dark vampire’s brow furrowed. His childe was an exhibitionist; he’d never known him to cover up anything after something like this.  
  
“Spike?” Angel inquired as he watched his companion become restless.  
  
Spike sat up. “I --” he started say. “I’ve got to go.”  
  
Angel watched him get to his feet. “Go where?”  
  
“Just . . . anywhere . . . to think,” Spike said softly.  
  
When he heard boots pounding the stairs, Angel fell back on the mat and tried to figure out what just happened. Spike needed time. Maybe he was rushing things? Maybe he wasn’t what Spike needed at all? Maybe he should let Spike go to find Drusilla, not that she’d be much help either. But, she was a female and a soulless demon like him.  
  
**************************  
  
Spike was outside the hotel, smoking a cigarette to calm his nerves. He hadn’t expected that to happen with Angel. He hadn’t expected to feel anything again. After what happened with Buffy and Riley, he’d been on autopilot during his encounters with Angel. Tonight was the first time he felt the adrenalin of fighting, the bloodlust that made his mouth water, the sexual tension between them. He had gotten hard and stayed hard! He had even become a little aggressive.  
  
He still wasn’t the same as he was before. Angel’s words confused him. He had called him his boy, his William. But, _he_ wasn’t William or Spike. The only thing in the jumbled thoughts that stuck out since the nightmares was that Angel made him feel . . . something. But, how was that any different than Buffy using him to feel alive?  
  
Spike heard a rustling in the bushes. A group of people rushed out of the darkness – possibly five or six men – dressed in black Kevlar. He started fighting them off and was doing really well. One of them was tossed against the wall of the gardens; another was thrown over the bushes. The third, however, pulled out a Taser and zapped him full of electricity.  
  
His last conscious thought was of Angel before everything went black.


	13. Chapter 12

##  _Chapter 12_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
Spike opened his eyes to a blurry room decorated in polished wood and deep reds. He waited for his vision to clear and saw book cases lined with law books and little knick knacks. The walls were lined with certificates congratulating someone named Lilah Morgan on her achievement of one thing or another. Then, he looked at his position. He was lying on a couch with dark gray suede fabric. Whoever this Lilah Morgan was, she had an ostentatious taste in fabrics. It couldn’t be any worse than Angel’s red couch and round settee in the Hyperion lobby.  
  
“Ah, I see you’re finally awake,” a female voice commented.  
  
Spike blinked and looked over to see a dark-haired woman in a skirt that was cut above the knee. He pulled himself upright and leaned back. Scowling at her, he massaged his rib cage where the Taser zapped him.  
  
“Don’t you bloody gits have anything else better to do than zap me with Tasers? I’m not a friggin’ science experiment!” Spike growled.  
  
Lilah looked at him with mild amusement. “I’m sorry that had to be done. You were uncooperative when we requested your presence.”  
  
Spike scoffed. “There was no request. Your goons ambushed me.”  
  
Lilah chewed on her fingernail. “I could have sworn I told them to ask you to come with them.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I swear they have no manners. Please forgive us for not asking you first.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you’re all broken up about my welfare, lady,” Spike said irritably. Dropping his hand, he asked cynically, “What the hell do you want with me?”  
  
“Would you like a glass of wine?” Lilah offered in pleasant voice.  
  
“No,” he replied flatly.  
  
“Hmm,” she mused as she poured herself a glass. “It’s a shame. I have the best Cabernet Sauvignon on hand.”  
  
“You do realize you’ve abducted a vampire, right? I drink blood not wine,” Spike pointed out.  
  
Lilah picked up her glass and turned to face him. “Oh, I know what you are. One should not have to live on blood alone. You should have a little variety in life.”  
  
“I’ll try to remember that next time I drain someone. Can we skip the niceties and get to why the bloody hell I’m here?”  
  
“You’re as broody as Angel, you know that?” Lilah commented with a smile.  
  
Spike glared up at her. “I’m nothing like Angel.”  
  
“Exactly how do you feel about him?” Lilah asked as she crossed over to her desk and leaned against it, drinking her wine.  
  
Spike followed her with his eyes. “My personal life with the ponce is none of your concern.” He looked around the room and it finally occurred to him where he was. “Wolfram & Hart, and you must be the lackey assigned to drive Angel around the bend.”  
  
Lilah pursed her lips. “I can assure you. I’m far from being a lackey.”  
  
Spike nodded. “Uh-huh. You’re still not getting anything from me, lady.”  
  
“Lilah. My name is Lilah Morgan,” she corrected.  
  
Spike got to his feet and walked around the office, inspecting all the achievement medals and certificates. “A lot of awards for winning in court, yet you haven’t managed to get one for making Angel turn dark? Your bosses must be riding you hard to get him,” Spike eyed her short skirt and finished, “under your belt.”  
  
Lilah fidgeted under his penetrating blue eyes. “Yes, well, Angel is long-term project. We have a lot invested in him.”  
  
Spike slowly walked closer to her. “Is that why you used Darla and Dru?” When Lilah looked confused, he filled in the blanks. “Yeah, I know all about your scheming. Dru came back to Sunnyhell and told me. She wanted me to join in, be a happy family again.” He stopped in front of her, took her glass and drained the rest of the wine. Then, he looked into the empty glass. “It’s a little dry for my tastes.” He set the glass down on the desk. “I tend to like my wine a little thicker with a sweet copper taste. It makes it go down smooth.”  
  
Lilah swallowed and watched him. He and Angel were so different from other vampires. They didn’t smell of rotting flesh. Angel had the scent of darkness around him mixed in with a hint of spice and the rustic outdoors. Spike’s scent was leather, cigarettes and forbidden seduction . . . if that had a scent.  
  
“Maybe we can work out a deal,” Lilah breathed.  
  
Spike raised a brow at that. “Maybe?”  
  
“Wolfram & Hart has records on everything that goes on. I’ve read your file, so I know you and Angel have your . . . shall we say grievances . . . with each other. I can give you the opportunity to get even with him.”  
  
“What’s in it for me?” Spike asked as he trailed his fingers over her collarbone.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Shortly after Spike walked out of the hotel, Angel got up off the basement floor and put the training mat away. He was confused as ever about what to do with Spike. He rationalized the sexual encounters as an exercise so that Spike wouldn’t withdraw any more than he already had. In the bathroom, the blonde vampire had said that Angelus told him that humans were nothing more than food. But, Spike had been getting along with the team lately, so he didn’t think that sentiment extended to Angel’s human friends.  
  
He trudged up the basement steps and went up to his floor. He peeked into Spike’s room and found it empty. Shrugging, he went to his room and found that vacant as well. _Where was Spike?_  
  
Closing the door, he went back downstairs and checked both entrances to the hotel. The blonde vampire wasn’t outside either of them. He turned and headed toward the reception desk when he spotted Fred. “Have you seen Spike anywhere?”  
  
“The last time I saw him, he was shuffling toward the gardens,” Fred replied. She walked around the counter with an armload of books and dropped them on the desk. “He looked a little . . . did you two have an argument or something?”  
  
“Or something,” Angel replied distractedly. “He’s not out there and he’s not in either his room or mine. There are four floors in this hotel, maybe he’s in one of the other rooms. But, I don’t see why he would be in any of the others. Get Cordy and Wes and we’ll each take a floor.”  
  
Fred nodded and went off to do what he instructed. Locating, Wesley and Cordelia, they searched the hotel from top to bottom. They were in the lobby when Angel came jogging down the stairs from his own search of the top floor and the roof.  
  
“Anything?” he asked anxiously.  
  
“No, nothing,” Wes and Cordelia chorused.  
  
“Damn, where could he have gone?” Then, Angel thought about something Spike said. “He told me he’d leave here once he was healed. But even then, he’s not well enough to do that yet.”  
  
“Maybe he went for a walk?” Cordelia shrugged.  
  
“Oh no,” Angel sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
“What?” Wesley asked.  
  
“He doesn’t have a chip anymore. I don’t know how he’s going to react without it yet,” Angel said, trying not to imagine the damage Spike could wreak unimpeded by the chip. He had restored his childe back to the way he was . . . physically speaking and he didn’t regret his decision. Hopefully, his boy wouldn’t be so restless from the years of being ‘collared’ as to bite anyone innocent.  
  
“You took his chip out?!” Wesley screeched.  
  
“It was going to kill him!” Angel said in defense of his actions.  
  
“You removed the one security humans had against a soulless vampire?! What were you thinking?” Wesley asked angrily.  
  
“Honestly? I was thinking about his welfare. Don’t begin to tell me how to handle Spike! I raised him from a fledging. I knew what I was doing!” Angel yelled.  
  
“He’s not safe, Angel! What if he attacks Fred or Cordelia?” Wesley asked.  
  
“He won’t!”  
  
“How can you be so sure of that?” Wesley inquired.  
  
“I just know! Look, whether he’s a risk or not doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s missing. Right now, I could care less about what you think of him or how little you trust him. He’s my . . . he’s out there somewhere, possibly confused about what happened between us.” Angel ran his fingers through his hair again anxiously and then looked at Wesley. “Do I have to remind you that he was beaten and raped _by a human_ when he staggered in the door two months ago?” Angel growled softly and grabbed his coat. “I’m going out to find him. Either help me or don’t, I don’t care. I’ll be back later.” With that, Angel walked out of the hotel and slammed the door.  
  
Wesley watched him walk out; then, went to the phone and dialed a number.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Sunnydale, Giles’ Apartment_**  
  
Buffy and Giles were researching some foreign glyphs that she encountered on patrol when the phone rang. He blindly reached for the phone and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”  
  
“Giles? This is Wesley Wyndham-Price, we have a bit of a situation down here,” the voice said.  
  
“What sort of situation?” Giles brows furrowed. Why would Wesley be calling him for help?  
  
“As I’m sure you know, Spike has set up residence down here and has been reluctantly helping us due to Angel’s persuasion,” Wesley said.  
  
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Why are you calling me?” Giles asked irritated at the interruption for something so frivolous.  
  
“Well, he showed up here chipped. It disheartens me to say this, but he no longer has that problem anymore,” Wesley said cryptically.  
  
“What do you mean? Spit it out in plain English, Wesley!” Giles said angrily.  
  
“Angel had the chip removed,” Wesley said.  
  
“He did what?!” Giles shouted into the receiver. “What the bloody hell possessed him to do that?”  
  
“He said it was for Spike’s welfare, that the chip would have killed him,” Wesley explained.  
  
“Good Lord,” Giles groaned as he removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “A soulless, unchipped vampire hunting in a city as big as Los Angeles . . .” Giles tried to block the doomed images that statement brought to mind.  
  
Buffy perked up when she heard Giles’ end of the conversation. Angel removed Spike’s chip? He really did it? Oh, God. Spike’s evil again. _What do you mean by again?_ , her inner voice asked. _He’s always been evil. You just thought he was safely evil with the chip. Hate to break it to you, honey. But, that was a false sense of security._ Buffy gave Giles a questioning look when he hung up the phone.  
  
“It seems Angel has removed Spike’s chip on the grounds that it would kill him if they left it in. Furthermore, he’s disappeared in the city and Angel’s gone looking for him,” Giles explained.  
  
“How is that a bad thing? He’s an evil, soulless thing. Without the chip, he’ll be back to killing again. I warned Angel about that, but he wouldn’t listen to me,” Buffy said. She grabbed her bag, a few extra stakes and headed for the door.  
  
“Where are you going?” Giles asked.  
  
“To L.A.,” Buffy replied.  
  
“I’m sure they can deal with the situation,” Giles said.  
  
“Then, why did Wesley call you?” Buffy asked.  
  
“To give me a head’s up in case he came back,” Giles replied.  
  
Buffy nodded. “Right . . . I’m going. I’ll be back with his dust in an urn.” With that, she walked out the door, leaving a perplexed Giles staring after her.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles_**  
  
Angel drove around every neighborhood within a 6 mile radius of the hotel and even stopped to check the sewer tunnels in a few places, but there was still no trace of his childe. Angel was starting to worry. He worried over what would happen if Spike encountered another human. He imagined gruesome results if Spike and Riley were to ever meet again. Then, he thought of the worst thing that could ever happen, other than dusting.  
  
 _Wolfram & Hart._  
  
The law firm had been pretty quiet ever since Gunn discovered their not-so-covert operation to plant spy-ware inside the hotel. He couldn’t imagine his Spike and Lilah having a meeting, or Spike even agreeing to meet with her for that matter. On Lilah’s side, Angel couldn’t picture her holding up well under the sexual onslaught that was his childe’s personality. Spike could be very charming and flirtatious when he wanted to be. Angel could imagine his childe doing just that for kicks.  
  
Yes, Spike had been used by Buffy and raped by Riley, but if Angel knew Spike as well as he thought he did, his childe uses everything he has to his advantage. He turned the car toward the Wolfram & Hart offices and grew more apprehensive with every mile that brought him closer to the bane of his existence ever since he showed up in L.A.  
  
Lorne told him that he couldn’t burn that damn law firm to the ground last year when they were using Darla to make him lose his soul. Angel scoffed at the idea that Lindsey thought that would ever happen. Just because _he_ fell in love with the human Darla and she spared his life when she and Drusilla slaughtered those people in the wine cellar, Lindsey thought that she would make Angel happy enough to lose the soul.  
  
The dark vampire smirked at the thought of Lindsey’s childish attempts. Darla never made him happy. Liam was just following a pretty girl’s skirt for the opportunity to fuck her and ended up vamped. There was no time for ‘perfect happiness’ to occur then. Now, that law firm had his childe, and God knows what the hell they were doing to him. For all Angel knew, they could be putting him through more torture than what Riley did. _If they so much as attempt to stick another chip in his head, I’ll drain Lilah Morgan myself and tie her to that expensive desk of hers with her own intestines._


	14. Chapter 13

##  _Chapter 13_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Buffy arrived at the hotel, had barely put the car in park before jumping out and ran inside to the reception desk where Wesley and Fred were arguing over whether it was right to call Sunnydale and essentially tattle on Spike when it was none of their concern anymore.  
  
“Wes! Where is he?” Buffy cut in on the argument.  
  
Wesley spun around at the sound of his name and startled at the sight of the Slayer standing in front of him.  
  
“Where is who?” Wesley asked in a harassed tone.  
  
Buffy huffed in frustration. “Angel or Spike, where are they?”  
  
Wesley may have become more rugged with his appearance these days, but he still sounded patronizing to her. She didn’t have time for this. She had to find Angel and knock him on his ass for taking Spike’s side as well as removing the chip, and then she would stake Spike once and for all for making her life more of a hell than it already was.  
  
“Angel hasn’t come back yet. He’s still out searching for Spike,” Wesley replied.  
  
Buffy paced the lobby as she considered her next course of action. She couldn’t just wait around for Angel to show up with Spike. She’d go crazy wondering if the blonde menace would actually be with him and in what condition.  
  
Coming to a decision, she announced, “I’m going out to patrol and find them. I never was the sit-and-wait type.”  
  
Wesley and Fred watched the blonde Slayer leave again. Then, Fred spoke up, “Shouldn’t we stop her? Angel won’t be too pleased if she’s on a vengeance kick over Spike.”  
  
Wesley turned to Fred, commenting wryly, “And miss the fireworks that will inevitably go off when Angel finds her down here? Not a chance.”  
  
“So then why did you call Sunnydale?” Fred asked.  
  
“Simply because Giles had more experience dealing with Spike than I do,” Wesley replied. “I did not foresee Buffy _suddenly_ showing up.”  
  
“You better hope Angel sees it that way,” Fred said doubtfully.  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart_**  
  
Angel gained entrance into the building through a sewer access tunnel. He didn’t have time to play dress up and act like a lawyer as he had done numerous times before. This damn law firm was getting on his last nerve.  
  
First, they used Darla to fuck with his mind. Then, they dangled her in front of him in reality to try to save her dying body. Finally, they used his demented girl to turn her – which he was sure for Drusilla was no easy feat. However, she was the sanest she had ever been when she and Darla were making his life a living hell. In retrospect, he hadn’t meant to burn Drusilla. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong company.  
  
Now, this fucking law firm abducted his other childe.  
  
Angel’s relationship with Spike was just beginning to find its stride when the other vampire went missing. He was starting to break down some walls with his boy before Wolfram & Hart decided to meddle in his life again. _If anything happens to him, I’ll kill Lilah myself. There won’t be the option of a wine cellar massacre in which she hopes to survive._  
  
**************************  
  
 ** _Los Angeles, Wolfram & Hart, Lilah’s Office_**  
  
“So, what do you think?” Lilah asked. She was sitting on the desk while Spike paced the floor.  
  
“I think it’s . . . the most insane idea I’ve ever heard. Believe me; I’ve heard a lot over the years while in Dru’s company.” Spike smirked as he thought it over. “You tried to use Darla to fuck the soul out of him and that didn’t work. What makes you think I’m a better candidate? Angel and I despise each other.”  
  
“Well, you must have some sway over him, some importance. Otherwise, he would have killed you long ago,” Lilah said.  
  
“What makes you think he hasn’t tried?” Spike said darkly.  
  
Lilah shrugged. “I’ve read the history between you. You can’t expect me to believe that he only kept you around to baby sit Little Miss Mental Complex.”  
  
Lilah scarcely blinked before she found herself flat on her back across the immaculate desktop with Spike hand squeezing around her throat. She tried to pull his hand away, but it wouldn’t move.  
  
“ _Drusilla_ isn’t insane any more than you are, lady,” Spike growled. “As for the reasons _Angelus_ kept me around, you’ll have to ask him. Though, I doubt he’d tell you. Whatever issues I have with Angel, Dru and Darla are mine.”  
  
“It’s not like there is any love lost between the four of you. You could easily get back at him for taking Drusilla from you, for making you feel inadequate. All you have to do is pander to the demon inside; remind him of whom he really is. He’s not a savior of the human race. He’s a ruthless demon, and we could use someone like that on our side,” Lilah choked.  
  
Spike laughed humorlessly. “Then, you obviously missed a few things when you were taking notes in Extortion 101. You expect me to appeal to the demon inside Angel and bring out Angelus. You skipped the part in the chapter where it said that the last time _Angelus_ was in residence, he was completely off his rocker. He tried to suck the world into Hell. Not to mention, he’s not one for being a team player. He tends to lead the pack. He’s an arrogant, self-serving son of a bitch. If you manage to pull him to the surface, what’s to say he won’t kill you? Because, you’ll be the first one he goes after and when he’s through torturing you to death, he’ll go after Angel’s little gang of do-gooders.”  
  
“He wouldn’t go after someone on his side,” Lilah panted out through the obstacle of Spike’s hand on her throat.  
  
“I’ve known him a lot longer than you have, lady. He doesn’t have a side. He does what he wants. I’ve been on the wrong end of a whip with him before. He doesn’t know mercy. These schemes you keep brewing up to drive him dark are only pissing him off and when he finally breaks loose, you’ll be his first target,” Spike said in dangerously calm voice.  
  
“Angel isn’t like that, we just have to get him straddling the fence,” Lilah said and tried to swallow past his grip.  
  
“Who said we were talking about Angel? I thought you wanted Angelus,” Spike sneered.  
  
Just then, the intercom beeped. Lilah and Spike stared at each other. A few seconds later, it beeped again. Spike slowly removed his hand and stepped away from her. Lilah rubbed her throat as she sat up and pressed the button.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“The alert went up. There’s an untagged vampire in the building,” said a static voice.  
  
Lilah looked at Spike and said, “Thank you, I’ll take care of it.”  
  
She turned the intercom off, slid off the desk and walked to the door. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll handle this and we’ll --”  
  
She opened the door and was brought up short when Angel’s tense body was on the other side.  
  
“Don’t bother, I’ll let myself in,” Angel said as he pushed her back into the office and closed the door behind him.  
  
“Angel, how did you --” Lilah started to say.  
  
Angel advanced on her as he spoke casually. “Hello, Lilah. It’s good to see you again. It’s only been what . . . four months? It’s not like you to not call or drop by unannounced. I’m beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”  
  
“I’ve been busy,” Lilah stammered.  
  
Angel glanced over her head at Spike who had a smug expression on his face. “I can see that. So, tell me, how long did it take you to come up with this new idea?” he asked with a dark tone.  
  
“What idea would that be?” she asked as she was crowded against the front of her desk.  
  
“Don’t play games with me, Lilah. Do you expect me to believe Spike just stopped by for tea and conversation?” Angel asked sardonically, his brows furrowed in anger.  
  
“She was going to have her wicked way with me and then offer a way to get back at you if I played along,” Spike told him as he looked around the larger vampire’s shoulder at the lawyer.  
  
Angel raised an eyebrow. “Is that right?” He wrapped his big hand around Lilah’s neck and yanked her towards him until there were centimeters apart. He chuckled maniacally. “You started this shit with Darla last year and now you’re trying to use Spike? You know, Lilah . . . if you wanted to fuck me that bad, all you had to do was ask. I would have been happy to give it to you.” He tilted his head toward Spike. “You should hear about the game she and Lindsey set up for me last year.”  
  
“What game would that be?” Spike asked curiously.  
  
“Oh, it’s one where the object was to see who could do the most damage to the other’s reputation . . . and I was winning too.” He focused his attention on Lilah. “Wasn’t I? I see we’re still playing that game. That’s okay, I like that game. There are no rules. I like that even better.”  
  
“P-p-p-please Angel, if you’d j-j-just hear me out on this, we could both make --” Lilah started to say.  
  
The dark vampire made a face at her stammering. “You’re taking all the fun out of this by begging so soon. Lindsey wanted me dark, so he pissed me off to the point I cut off his hand and smashed the prosthetic one. But, I’m fair. I helped him when he had the hand of death. How’d that work out for you by the way? I’m sure having to share management duties with a guy who had no control over his own hand was intimidating.”  
  
Angel shrugged. “Having to compete with your rival so that the Senior Partners would notice you over their golden boy . . . it must have been hard.” He let her go, stepped back and held out his hands. “But hey, now you got the corporate office, made it to Junior Vice President of Special Projects. That has to look real good on your resume.”  
  
He pushed Spike toward the door, glowered at her then, and became serious. “You wanted dark, I’m dark. I can get even darker before Angelus ever breaks free. You want to play this little game that’s great.”  
  
He towered over her menacingly and continued, “But, try to come after Spike again and the next massacre I throw you into will make Holland Manners’ wine cellar look like an amusement park ride.”  
  
Angel turned on his heel and walked to the door where Spike stood watching the whole scene. He jerked the door open and followed Spike out, slamming it behind him. Angel led the blonde vampire to the sewer tunnels he’d used to gain access to the building.  
  
As they walked to Angel’s car, Spike asked, “You sure she’s going to follow your advice?”  
  
“I doubt it. The only thing Lilah Morgan cares about is her standing with the Senior Partners. We haven’t seen the last of her,” Angel said.  
  
When they got to the car a few blocks away, the dark vampire groaned when he saw who was waiting for them. The little, blonde Slayer was sitting on the hood of his car.  
  
“Get your ass off the hood of my 1967 Plymouth GTX,” Angel said angrily.  
  
Spike chuckled. “You just had to say that. Show off.”  
  
“It’s just a car, Angel.” Buffy frowned but did as she was told.  
  
The second she stepped away from the car, Angel used his shirttail to wipe away any prints she may have left on it. Then, he turned to her. “Why are you here? For someone who told me that we shouldn’t be together when she came back from the dead, I’m starting to see you a hell of a lot in my city these days.”  
  
“I didn’t come to see you. I came to stop you,” she said and then turned on Spike with a stake that suddenly appeared in her hand. “And you! I’m glad that chip is out of your head. It means I can stop feeling sorry for your pathetic ass and kill you!”  
  
Spike tensed up and waited for Buffy to make a move. Just as she was about to attack him with the stake, Angel grabbed her wrist and spun her around into the side of his car, placing himself between his childe and the Slayer.  
  
Buffy grabbed the door to keep her balance and glared at her former boyfriend. “Why are you doing this, Angel? There was a time when you would have helped me kill him.”  
  
“I never helped you kill him, I spent most of the time trying to steer you away from him,” Angel corrected her.  
  
“I can’t have him walking around without a leash. He knows too much about me and my friends,” Buffy said angrily.  
  
“You should have thought about that _before_ you fucked him,” Angel shot back.  
  
Spike walked around the bulk of his Sire to see Buffy. He didn’t recognize her anymore. She wasn’t the girl he enjoyed sparring with in the past. She wasn’t even the same as when she confided in him that she was possibly in heaven. Ever since Riley Finn came back, she had turned spiteful toward him and seemingly bitter toward Angel, whom she claimed was her true love.  
  
“You humiliated me in front of Riley!” Buffy accused Spike.  
  
“You’re seriously off your bird, Slayer,” Spike said as he stepped closer to her. “I’m glad we’re through with each other, Buffy. I _hated_ the farce that was our relationship!”  
  
“We didn’t have a relationship! It was just sex! Get that through your thick skull. I don’t love you!” Buffy yelled.  
  
“I never said I loved you because I couldn’t have you. I loved what you were before you died. I loved the way you fought, the way you sparred. I loved that you took care of your brat kid sister and the Scoobies. It had nothing to do with me. When you came back, I still loved you enough to try to help you cope with being alive again. What did I get for the insults and beatings? You handed me over to your tin soldier on a silver platter!”  
  
Buffy drew back her fist and punched him in the face, over the eye that had signs of bruising from when Riley repeatedly punched him two months ago. “You’re wrong! Riley wouldn’t have given you the time of day, and after we found your last scheme and killed it, he left town. He never went after you!”  
  
She punched Spike in the stomach and threw him down on the ground. Then, she sat on him and proceeded to hit him again, crying, “You’re wrong! *punch* It wasn’t like that! *punch* You’re just an evil, soulless demon. *punch* You’re out to hurt me and come between me and Angel to get back at me for not loving you. *punch, punch* You’re dead, you hear me! *punch* Dead! You can’t have a relationship with something that’s dead!” *punch*  
  
Angel grabbed Buffy around the waist and pulled her kicking and punching off Spike. “That’s enough!” He twisted his body away from Spike and her squirming caused him to drop her on the ground in a heap.  
  
“Get a hold of yourself!” Angel shouted over the barrage of insults that she was still hurling at Spike. He reached down and offered Spike a hand to stand up.  
  
Buffy picked herself up off the ground and glared at Angel through a tangle of hair. “How can you take his side over mine?”  
  
“I know him and what he’s capable of. I made him into what he was before your soldier boy stuck a chip in his head. You had no right attacking him as you did. Being a Slayer with one failed relationship with a vampire in your past, you should have known better than start one with a soulless vampire. Did those six months with Angelus stalking you teach you nothing?” Angel said.  
  
“Yeah, it taught me to never trust you again,” Buffy spat.  
  
Angel grabbed her shoulders and yanked her against him, flexing his fingers deep into her flesh as he tried to control his anger. “Then, I suggest you get the hell out of my city and go back home, little girl.”  
  
“Wesley never mentioned that you had completely lost it when he called me!” Buffy said.  
  
“What’s Wesley got to do with this?” Angel asked angrily.  
  
“He called Giles to tell him about what you did with Spike!” She wriggled in his grasp. “Let go of me!”  
  
“Come on,” Angel said addressing Spike as he released her. He walked around the car and got behind the wheel as the blonde vampire slid in the passenger side. When he saw Buffy still standing there glaring daggers at them, he growled, “Get out of my sight, Buffy. Go home and stay there this time!”  
  
With that, he drove away leaving her to watch the taillights of the car disappear into the night.


	15. Chapter 14

##  _Chapter 14_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
When Angel and Spike arrived back at the hotel, Wesley and Cordelia had gone home for the night, and Fred was up in her room. It was a good thing as far as Angel was concerned. After a night such as they had, he’d rip Wesley’s throat out if he saw the former Watcher right now if what Buffy said tonight was true.  
  
It was funny that she spent so much time telling him to stay away from Sunnydale, that they couldn’t see each other anymore when she was the one who kept showing up in his city every time something rubbed her the wrong way. Given the course of his life since he moved to L.A., he could bet he wouldn’t lose his soul these days with anyone. Especially, after the last time he tried it with Darla.  
  
Angel and Spike went up to Spike’s bedroom and into the adjoining bathroom. He had his childe sit on the countertop of the sink. Retrieving the first-aid kit from his room, where he had used it on Spike initially, he returned and set it beside the vampire.  
  
Angel looked over Spike’s injuries. The eye was swollen again, there were cuts on the razor-cheekbone and on his full lips. Buffy didn’t do too much damage before he pulled her off Spike. Soaping up a washcloth, he cleaned the wounds and began to apply the first aid. Granted, his childe was a vampire and wouldn’t need very much of the human medication, but at this point, every little bit helped as far Angel was concerned. He didn’t have enough blood in him for Spike to live off of indefinitely.  
  
“I could leave, you know,” Spike said, “All my presence seems to do is cause trouble for you with your pet humans.”  
  
“Since when do you care how much trouble you cause?” Angel asked. “You live for it.”  
  
“Getting you riled is one thing. What I did to you before . . . before . . .” Spike’s voice trailed off and he continued, “Anyway, I’ll leave, go find Drusilla, we’ll cut a swathe through wherever we end up and I’ll be good as new.”  
  
“You don’t have to leave. I told you that,” Angel pointed out.  
  
“You can’t make me stay,” Spike said indignantly.  
  
Angel dropped his hands to the counter and leaned on his palms as he moved closer to Spike. “I’m not making you do anything. I’m trying to help you by giving you choices. If you think Drusilla can do any better, then be my guest and go find her.” Spike swallowed and the look he gave Angel was akin to a little boy who just had his favorite toy taken away. “If the old pattern holds up, you’ll be the one to take care of her, not the other way around.”  
  
“What about your chums? Am I supposed to keep dodging their constant harassment?” Spike asked angrily.  
  
“No. Let me deal with them,” Angel replied just as irritated and then went off on a tirade as he resumed cleaning the cuts on Spike’s face. “You think you know a guy. I mean he ambushed me while I was trying to help . . . someone a few years ago. But then, he shows up on my doorstep after the Watcher’s Council fired him and I gave him a job. And, how does he repay me? He sends a Slayer after my childe because he doesn’t trust my judgment. Granted, I _did_ fire him last year when I was dealing with other things. But, he had no right to go after you the way he did.”  
  
“Angel,” Spike said mockingly, “I’m touched by your surprising concern over my welfare. But, I can take care of myself.”  
  
Angel stopped. “Then why did you come here after Riley Finn attacked you?”  
  
The lost, hurt expression returned to that perfectly sculpted face. Spike pushed Angel away and jumped down from the sink. Then, he stomped out of the bathroom to the door.  
  
“Spike, where are you going?” Angel asked as he followed him.  
  
“Anywhere but here,” Spike said angrily, not stopping. “I don’t need to be reminded of what happened to me. I know what I did, what I allowed to happen. I begged you to kill me for disgracing myself with a human. I have vivid nightmares of it, thanks ever so much!”  
  
Angel caught up with him, just as he reached the door. He grabbed Spike’s arm and turned the other vampire around to face him. “Didn’t you fight back when he attacked you? Did you lay there and take it, letting him have what was mine?” Spike refused to look at him, only shaking his head in denial. “Then, you _did not_ allow it to happen.”  
  
Spike was still shaking his head in refutation. “Never touch again. Dirty; filthy; never be clean again; can never be clean, always dirty. I’m a dirty, evil, soulless thing, only good for sex, to make her feel alive again.”  
  
Angel shook his head as he listened to Spike’s rambling. “No. No you aren’t. You’re not dirty and you’re not made for her.” He gripped Spike’s arms. “I made you for me. You were never to be used by humans. Do you hear me, Spike?” he asked louder to break through the monotonous babbling.  
  
Spike looked up at his Sire with wild eyes. “I can feel them, Angel.” He dug his fingers into Angel’s upper arms, desperate. “I can still feel their hands on me. Dirty, sweaty . . . in my dreams. When I’m awake, it feels like they’re crawling under my skin.”  
  
Angel felt as if he had to do something. Spike was becoming hysterical. He’d never seen the younger vampire like this before. The demon he knew was confident, with a cocky smile and swagger that made his entire body roll with his movement. This version was lost, scared and trapped.  
  
Angel slowly moved his hand up until his fingers sifted through Spike’s hair as he bent closer and rested his forehead against his childe’s. “Shh, Spike.” The blonde vampire squirmed in his grasp as if he was trying to shake off something that was crawling on him. “Spike! There’s nothing there! You’re a vampire, nothing can hurt you!” Angel thought about that for a moment and amended, “Short of sunlight, stakes, holy water and decapitation.”  
  
“Angel, please!” Spike beseeched, ignoring his Sire.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, Angel moved his hand up and tugged on Spike’s hair, tilting his head back and kissed him. Angel removed his other hand from Spike’s arm and grabbed his waist. He pulled the other vampire against him, he pressed forward until he vaguely heard Spike’s back hit the door.  
  
Spike slowly quieted when he felt the hard wood surface against his back and the cool muscle against his torso. There was nothing hot, sweaty . . . or human . . . about his Sire. For now, he was safe from the acrid scent of mortals. The only pleasant fragrance from a human anymore was their fear and the taste of their blood. Riley Finn destroyed everything else for him.  
  
At that moment, all thought ceased and Spike melted against Angel as the elder vampire’s tongue slipped past his lips to explore his mouth. His Sire picked him up and moved over to Drusilla’s bed. Climbing onto the mattress, Angel lay down with Spike, never breaking the kiss.  
  
Angel moved a hand down Spike’s chest to his waist and pulled the shirt away from the jeans. Then, he tugged the button open and worked the zipper down. Only when he finally had his hand around his boy’s erection, did he start to brush kisses along the wounded cheekbone.  
  
Spike stiffened under Angel. He knew his Sire was trying to help, but he didn’t know if he could do this. He shouldn’t be responding like this. What did it say about him when he arched wantonly into Angel’s touch? Was he any better than what Buffy accused him of being: a dead, evil, soulless thing? Spike willed his body not to react to Angel, but it turned traitor and refused. His thoughts jumbled. Half of him wanted to get as far away from his Sire as physically possible. The other half wanted to drown in the sensations Angel was eliciting.  
  
“Just let go, Spike. Let me help you feel again.” Spike heard Angel’s whisper.  
  
 _God, I can’t do this! I **am** no better than Buffy._ “No!” Spike said aloud as he tried to twist away from his Sire. “I’m not her! I don’t want to be like her! I won’t use you. Let me go, Angel.”  
  
“I swear I’m going to kill her the next time I see her,” Angel said, his voice barely audible to Spike who was trying to move away. “Stop!”  
  
The Sire-tone he used halted Spike’s movements and the younger vampire watched him warily.  
  
“Calm down, you have nothing to worry about. You aren’t using me. I want you, too,” Angel assured him. He took his childe’s hand and moved it down over the bulge in his pants. “See?” He held Spike’s hand over his erection and waited for his boy’s reaction.  
  
Spike tried to lie rigidly under Angel, but his hand tightened around the shaft and stroked his Sire through the material. Angel stroked him at the same pace as he watched his boy’s eyes close and felt his hips thrust up against his fist.  
  
When he saw tears trickle from under the blonde’s eyelashes, Angel asked, “Am I hurting you?” Spike swallowed and shook his head in denial. “What do you feel, Spike?”  
  
“Don’t start with the touchy-feely Oprah Winfrey human interest stuff,” Spike scoffed angrily.  
  
“Damn it, Spike, save the attitude for the team outside the door. In this room, we are just two vampires, Sire and childe. I’m not interested in humans, I’m interested in you,” Angel said brusquely. “Now, tell me what you feel.”  
  
“I feel your hand on my dick,” Spike answered.  
  
Angel ran his tongue over his childe’s cheekbone and up to the temple near his bruised eye. Spike leaned into the touch, then caught himself and jerked away. His hand tightened on Angel’s erection and he received a groan with a reciprocal squeeze to his own.  
  
“I can smell your anxiety, my boy,” Angel whispered near his ear. “You know better than to let someone scent your fear. Let’s see if we can get rid of that, hmm?”  
  
Angel stroked Spike faster, tightening his grip until the younger vampire could do nothing but respond and thrust his hips up. He encouraged his childe with whispered nonsensical words, telling Spike how much he wanted him, how much he desired him, how beautiful he was when Angelus took William for the first time, before the blood and pain had defined their relationship.  
  
Spike tried to stay focused on what his Sire was doing to him. He remembered his time with Angelus. He knew it wasn’t all sweetness and roses. He never expected anything other than what his Sire was. From all Angelus taught him, Spike knew how to derive pleasure from anything his elder did to him. There were . . . softer moments . . . but, for the most part, Angelus was a bastard. However, having the man who turned you into a demon, shape that demon was different from what Buffy and Riley did to him.  
  
“Spike,” Angel’s voice broke through his thoughts as he continued to stroke the hard shaft in his hand. “Whatever you’re thinking, quit. Let go of it. I’m not Angelus; I’m not going to hurt you.”  
  
Angel released his hold, moved his hand lower to pull the jeans down and massage the sacs, teasing the perineum with his fingers. Spike whimpered and rocked his hips to maneuver Angel where he wanted him.  
  
“No,” Angel said softly. He released the sacs and grabbed Spike’s hand, moving it down to replace his hand. Then, he went back to massaging the balls, eliciting a whimper from his childe. “Stroke yourself.”  
  
Spike was stiff as a board when Angel slid his fingers against his tight anus. He circled it with his fingers teasing the sensitive nerves there. Spike gave a strangled whimper as if he was suppressing his reaction.  
  
Angel gnashed his teeth in frustration. Spike was blocking any sensation and closing down. He was nothing like William or the way he was in the early days. This version of his childe was beaten down, but not yet broken. Angel’s lips quirked up at that. Nothing could break his boy. Angelus spent 20 years trying to do it. Riley and Buffy apparently attempted to break him, but Spike was trying to get back to the way he was. Angel just had to make sure he didn’t isolate his emotions. Spike was an open book when it came to what he felt and thought. He had to get him to feel again.  
  
“You have to relax,” Angel said softly.  
  
“You relax, bloody git. I can’t do this!” Spike growled, blinking away angry tears.  
  
“Yes, you can. You’ve got to loosen up. You stay tense like this and you’ll get muscle cramps,” Angel said. He moved to better see Spike’s face, look him in the eyes and asked, “Do you trust me?”  
  
“About as far as I can throw you,” Spike sneered.  
  
Angel chuckled. “That’s pretty far then.”  
  
“Doubt it with all the pig’s blood you drink,” Spike scoffed.  
  
“Hey! I work out! What do you think the training area in the basement was for?”  
  
“Is that what you call the bat cave?” Spike asked.  
  
Angel smirked. The blonde vampire was starting to relax, finally. The tension was no longer pouring off him in waves. Angel rubbed his fingertips over the sensitive ring of muscle and watched as Spike tentatively stroked himself. When he was sure Spike would be fine, he slipped a couple of fingers inside and searched out his boy’s pleasure point.  
  
Angel found it and brushed his fingers against it as he asked, “Now, what do you feel?”  
  
“Your bloody mammoth fingers probing me,” Spike answered through clenched teeth.  
  
“You don’t feel a thrill in the pit of your stomach, nothing? Come on, Spike. Try to relax. Remember the things you let Angelus do to you, after he found out what you liked the most. Only remove the pain and blood,” Angel urged.  
  
“Kinda hard to do that, it’d be like taking the spots off a leopard,” Spike said.  
  
“I know. What made him different? What made me different than Riley?” Angel asked.  
  
“You’re my Sire,” Spike’s breath caught then.  
  
“Lots of vampires loathe their Sire,” Angel countered.  
  
“Never hated you, hated the way you punished me, the way you used Drusilla against me, but I didn’t hate you.” Spike groaned and squeezed his erection as he pressed down on Angel’s fingers.  
  
“Well, that’s good to know. I’ll try to remember that the next time you’re hell bent on killing me,” Angel teased.  
  
“You deserved those hot pokers,” Spike growled as he rocked between his stroking hand and Angel’s fingers.  
  
“You still weren’t the one to wield them, so you couldn’t have been too angry with me. You never did have the stomach for a good bout of torture, my boy,” Angel commented as he continued to tease Spike’s prostate.  
  
“I was more into the fist and fangs of a good fight, not the artistry of your physical and mental torment that lasted for days and weeks.” Spike writhed as the slow burn started in his groin. He didn’t dare hope that it was anything more than phantom twinges invoked by old memories.  
  
When he closed his eyes against it, Angel noticed the reaction. “What are you feeling, Spike?”  
  
“Nothing, I--” Spike started to deny it, but stopped. He could tell Buffy tales of his turning, tell her that he despised Angel with every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t lie to his Sire. “It’s probably nothing, just my imagination.”  
  
“What do you want me to do?” Angel asked quietly.  
  
“Relieve me of the memories would be good,” Spike quipped.  
  
“Would that I could,” he replied. “Will it help if I was inside you?” When Spike tensed again at the idea of someone inside him, violating him again, Angel sighed. “You have to give me something; I don’t know what else to do.”  
  
“I want to . . . I’m trying, Angel,” Spike said.  
  
“I know,” Angel agreed. Then, he got an idea. If it were anyone else, he would never think of doing this, but it was his last resort. He carefully removed his fingers and instructed Spike, “Turn over on your stomach.”  
  
Spike watched him warily as he complied. He tensed up when he felt Angel’s body move closer. The elder vampire sat on his knees behind him and helped him change position with his head on the pillow and his ass in the air.  
  
“What are you doing?” Spike asked apprehensively.  
  
Angel tugged the jeans down lower as he whispered, “Trust me, Spike. You’ll enjoy this; just let me take care of you.”  
  
The blonde vampire felt uneasy but said nothing as he felt the feather light touches of his Sire’s tongue on his puckered hole. He felt his muscles begin to relax then. Angel slowly licked around the opening and started gently to work his tongue inside Spike’s body where the tight ring held him firm.  
  
Spike slowly began to realize that he could cope with this penetration. It was like no other he had felt. He gave a shudder of pleasure as the soft, moist tongue moved inside him, only to tense up at the intrusion. Spike gave an involuntary moan when Angel found his prostate. He slumped in defeat at his reaction as Angel extracted himself and leaned back, pleased to have brought out any sort of pleasurable reaction to sex.  
  
When he felt Angel pull away, he glanced over his shoulder and asked, “Why did you stop?”  
  
Angel chuckled. “I told you that you would enjoy it.”  
  
Spike closed his eyes when he requested, “More.”  
  
“More of what?” Angel asked.  
  
“Your tongue. Please don’t make me beg, I was never good at it,” Spike said, his eyes still closed.  
  
Angel ran his tongue along Spike’s tailbone and up his spine, feeling his childe shudder again. He stopped his ascent when his open fly brushed against Spike’s ass and the younger vampire went rigid again. Draping himself over Spike’s back, Angel buried his face in the curve of his neck and licked the bite marks he had put there to renew the Sire-claim. He ran his tongue up to Spike’s ear as he reached down to wrap his fingers around the blonde’s erection.  
  
“I thought you said you trusted me,” Angel whispered.  
  
“I said I trusted you about as far as I could throw you,” Spike corrected.  
  
The dark vampire started stroking the shaft. “I can make you want it. I could use all those seductive moves I taught you and sooner or later I’ll have you craving my touch again.”  
  
Spike shuddered at the words. A few things kept him from throwing Angel clear across the room. He was his Sire, he wasn’t human and as much as his psyche denied it, Spike wanted him. Angel was able to wring a few responses out of him tonight, though he was reluctant.  
  
Angel felt the younger vampire shift, rocking his body back against his open fly in small movements and then forward to thrust his erection into his hand. He encouraged Spike by squeezing the shaft lightly at regular intervals, hearing him groan as if he was hesitant to respond.  
  
“Don’t hold back. You’re doing so well,” Angel encouraged.  
  
Spike shuddered at the whispered words coupled with the feel of Angel’s hard cock pressing against his ass. He moaned louder as he pressed back, grinding against it. Spike pressed his face into the pillow, hiding tears brought on by his strained emotions as he imagined the way Angel felt sliding into him.  
  
Angel was aware of Spike thrusting back in opposition to him and pushed forward, rubbing the length of his shaft against the quivering hole. He didn’t penetrate Spike’s body, only rubbed off against him.  
  
“I want – I can’t,” Spike stammered, his body quaking with the need for release and pent up emotion.  
  
“Shh, all you have to do is feel it, ride it out,” Angel said quietly.  
  
He moved a hand down and slipped two fingers into Spike, gently stretching him as he located and teased the bundle of nerves again. A hoarse cry was wrenched out of Spike’s throat when Angel’s touch sent him spiraling over the precipice of an orgasm filled with the bitterness he felt toward humans.  
  
Exhausted at the emotional events of the night, Spike collapsed on the bed as his Sire carefully extracted his fingers and lay beside him. As Angel relaxed with Spike pressed against him, his thoughts shifted to what happened with Buffy earlier and what brought her to L.A. _Anyone who had a hand in harming Spike will pay, including Wesley. I cannot tolerate such lack of trust._


	16. Chapter 15

##  _Chapter 15_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
 _Spike’s body jostled with each punch Riley gave him. He couldn’t block them. The chip had fired the last time he tried. In reality, he was having an imaginary conversation with Drusilla during this part. He felt his attacker squeeze his throat, not that it would do any good since he didn’t breathe._  
  
 _The only person that ever touched his neck was his Sire. This human was becoming far too intimate for his liking. He was used to his body being utilized as a weapon, a vessel to slake someone’s lust and anger. But no one touched his neck. Not even Buffy had been that intimate, and Drusilla knew better._  
  
 _Why was his subconscious making him remember?_  
  
 _“I can’t believe Buffy allowed a dead, evil thing touch her. You violated her body. You turned her into something she isn’t. She was fine when I left her last year and I come back to find her depressed and angry. It was you! You tried to turn her into you! You’re a filthy, soulless . . . you’re not fit to exist.”_  
  
 _Spike grit his teeth as he listened to the barrage of insults. He tried to claw Riley’s hands away from his neck. Then he screamed hoarsely as Riley thrust his dick into him. His body tensed, fighting the violation, trying to force the offensive thing out._  
  
**************************  
  
“—ike!”  
  
Spike bolted awake to the sound of Angel calling his name. He raised a hand rubbed his aching forehead. The dream was so vivid that everything hurt, including his eyes. He slowly opened them and blinked. It was dark in the room and he thanked the Powers for that.  
  
“Spike?” Angel asked inquiringly.  
  
“What time is it?” Spike asked as a distraction from the dream that he knew Angel would ask about.  
  
“Nine p.m.”  
  
“You let me sleep for a day and a half?”  
  
“You needed the rest,” Angel answered and then not to be deterred, he asked, “What was the dream about?”  
  
“The dream?” Spike asked, confused and sleepy.  
  
“You were talking in your sleep, telling someone to get his bloody hands off your neck,” Angel replied.  
  
“It was nothing,” Spike said.  
  
Angel looked skeptical, but let it go. He reached over Spike to the bedside table and pulled his hand back to reveal a glass of blood. “Here. Drink this, take a shower and we’ll see what Cordy has for tonight.”  
  
The dark vampire got out of bed, went into the bathroom and started to collect the necessities. Spike watched his Sire disappear into the room and switch the light on as he drank. The reason for Angel to help him was still a mystery. His Sire could have just as easily kicked him out of the hotel as easily as Buffy had done from her life.  
  
“Spike, are you coming?” he heard Angel say from the bathroom; the deep, smooth voice echoing off the walls.  
  
The blonde vampire downed the rest of the blood, got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He leaned against the doorjamb and watched as Angel readied the shower, retrieving towels and other necessities. Spike stepped around him and got into the shower. He groaned appreciatively as the hot spray hit him.  
  
Spike was vaguely aware of Angel joining him as he reflected on his dream. It hurt his head to try and remember what happened. He remembered the argument and fighting before and Riley ruthlessly pulling out of him after, but not the in-between. Even the vision of Drusilla that sent him here was slowly dissipating.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Angel’s voice sounded far away.  
  
“Working some things out in my head,” Spike answered.  
  
“You shouldn’t try so hard to remember. It’s a natural defense mechanism. Your mind blocked it to let your body heal. It can’t do both at the same time. You may get the memory of it back today, tomorrow, next week, next year, or it may never come back,” Angel said casually as he helped Spike to wash down.  
  
“What the hell do you know about it?” Spike grumbled in irritation.  
  
“You aren’t the first person to have something like this happen to you,” Angel replied. “My ex-girlfriend sent me to Hell for a hundred years. You think it was a summer vacation? There are things that happened that I wish I could forget and things that only show up in my dreams.”  
  
“You weren’t raped by a human who thinks he’s the judge, jury and executioner of every demon in the world,” Spike pointed out.  
  
“No, but I was tortured and violated by my own memories. Everyone has their own private hell. Finn is your hell. He’s the reason you were chipped, and subsequently used by Buffy, because she knew you couldn’t do anything and he used your chip against you, and I’m pretty safe in assuming they used it against you more than once. Maybe not in a physical sense as Finn did, but in other ways,” Angel said.  
  
“They used me and I couldn’t fight back,” Spike said thoughtfully.  
  
“Well, now you don’t have a chip anymore. You can fight back. Whatever they took from you, you can take it back.”  
  
Spike thought back to when he was first chipped. He thought about how Buffy, Xander and Giles treated him, like he was something be tolerated and utilized. He couldn’t bite anyone, but that didn’t stop them from using him for muscle, something to ridicule as a way to distract from their own miserable lives or, in Buffy’s case, as her own personal sex toy because her real vampire lover wasn’t around.  
  
“I was convenient to her because you weren’t there,” Spike commented.  
  
“She said what?” Angel asked, not catching his meaning.  
  
“Buffy said I was convenient because you weren’t there. She said that one vampire got her hot and he was gone. I was your bloody replacement. She came to me, fucked me because of you. Sex with me made her feel something, but I was her link to you,” Spike explained.  
  
Angel’s eyes hardened in anger, some of it directed at Spike for fucking Buffy, but it was more toward the Buffy he remembered. The version of Buffy that hadn’t come to terms with being alive again was someone he didn’t recognize. He couldn’t put the full blame on Spike for her behavior. She wasn’t the same girl he knew. That didn’t excuse the way she treated Spike in Sunnydale or when the few times she had shown up in L.A.  
  
“You aren’t convenient and were never a replacement. You’re just you, however you want to present yourself. Though I have to say, playing the role of victim was never your style. You have to find your way back to the way you were,” Angel said as he finished his task.  
  
“Why is everything always easy for you?” Spike asked angrily. “Being a vampire was easy for you, dealing with a soul is easier for you, handling Darla, Dru and _Buffy_ is easy for you. You even survived hell and were fine in three weeks.”  
  
Angel grabbed Spike’s shoulder and spun him around so fast that the blonde vampire lost his balance on the water-slick shower floor and fell against him. He pushed his childe against the wall and held him in place by a hand on his throat. Not to choke him; it was impossible to do that. The action was merely to hold him still. Spike protested, but Angel moved close to his ear and stroked his fingertips along the younger vampire’s throat, causing him to moan.  
  
“I know you’d like to think it was all easy for me, because the women in our lives chose me first, or because you think I appear fine with the shit I have to deal with every day. You might want to come in from left field and see what the hell has been going on. I’ve spent a hundred years trying to cope with a soul I never wanted. I’ve had to watch you and Dru adore each other and not be a part of that because, without my soul, Angelus is an unfeeling bastard and with it I’m too wracked with guilt. As for Buffy, you think loving her was easy? I lost my soul with her. I couldn’t be around her when I came back from hell. It hurt too much. I left Sunnydale because I couldn’t handle being around her knowing that we could never consummate our relationship.” Angel’s hand slid down Spike’s throat to his chest. “Then I came to L.A. and have an evil law firm out to make my existence a living hell.” He pulled away and looked at his childe. “So, no, Spike. It’s not easy for me.”  
  
Angel stepped out of the shower, dried off and got dressed, leaving Spike to do the same. Then the blonde vampire followed Angel downstairs to the lobby where they were greeted by Cordelia and Wesley. When the dark vampire saw the former watcher, he growled and fisted human’s shirt collar, yanking him up so that his feet barely touched the floor.  
  
“What the hell did you think you were doing by calling Buffy to L.A.?” Angel growled.  
  
“What’s going on? Angel, let him go!” Cordelia hurried around the reception desk and tried to pry Angel off Wesley.  
  
“I thought it was for the best that I warn Giles about the removal of the chip,” Wesley rasped.  
  
“Who died and made you the judge of what was best?” Angel asked angrily. “Giles, Buffy and anyone else up there on the Hellmouth have no right and _no business_ knowing what the fuck is going on with Spike. He’s no longer in their city. He’s here! With me! He came to me for help because they wouldn’t!”  
  
“I take it you saw Buffy,” Wesley choked.  
  
Angel nodded. “Oh, yeah. I saw her and after what she did to Spike and enabled Riley to do to him. She is _not_ wanted in _my city_. I sent her back home and told her to stay there. If you so much as try to pull another stunt like that again, you had better find yourself another place of employment.”  
  
Angel threw Wesley away from him. The watcher stumbled back and rubbed the back of his neck. “Spike is a danger to others. Don’t you see that? You had the chip removed and now he’s free to kill again.”  
  
“Spike and I have an understanding, one in which he knows I will stake him if he doesn’t follow through. My deal with Spike has nothing to do with you. It wasn’t your place to call Sunnydale and warn them about Spike or anything I did with him. He’s not their problem anymore,” Angel said angrily as he glared at the watcher.  
  
“Well, I most certainly have a problem with it!” Wesley countered heatedly.  
  
“Then get over it or get out. Your choice,” Angel said dismissively before he walked away towards the hotel’s kitchen.  
  
For all his bravado upstairs when he was alone with Angel, Spike was less confident in front of his Sire’s pet humans. He made a wide berth around Wesley and followed Angel into the kitchen. He watched with a puzzled expression as Angel fixed his own blood.  
  
“Why did you do that?” Spike asked.  
  
“He had no business interfering. I was handling the situation just fine. Wesley’s a watcher. It’s in his blood. He can’t escape it. He doesn’t see anything wrong with an unnaturally incapacitated vampire. You’re not someone’s toy and you’re not a slave. That chip made you both,” Angel said, irritated.  
  
Just then Angel’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out, flipped up the caller ID and grinned wolfishly.  
  
Spike looked at him, confused by the change in mood. “Who is it?”  
  
“A friend who came through for me,” Angel said before answering. “Hey Frank! What do you got for me?”  
  
“I found the kid you’ve been looking for,” Frank’s gruff voice replied.  
  
“How bad a shape is he in?” Angel asked. He didn’t want to have Riley Finn in pieces . . . yet. Angel gave Spike a smirk when he caught his childe looking at him strangely. After the thing with Buffy and Wesley, this was extremely good news. He knew the Boraro demon would come through. At this point, Frank was more reliable than his own team.  
  
“He’s in one piece. That’s all I can say. I found him and that wife of his destroying a nest of Sluggoths. Man, I never knew they still existed. Ugly fuckers,” Frank said.  
  
“What did you do, Frank?” Angel inquired, worried there wouldn’t be anything left of Riley to work with.  
  
“I softened him up for you. When you told me what he did to your boy . . .,” Frank was saying.  
  
“Yeah, okay,” Angel cut in. “How soon can you get him up here?”  
  
“You don’t want the wife?” Frank asked.  
  
“What would I do with a wife? She’d just get in the way,” Angel chuckled.  
  
“Yeah, ain’t that the truth. You should have met my last wife,” Frank said casually. “Anyway, we can be on the next flight up.”  
  
“Good!” Angel said. “I’ll get a few things set up and we’ll take care of this little problem.”  
  
Frank became serious. “How is he?”  
  
“Physically he’s fine. It’ll take a while for his mind to catch up though. He has nightmares and he’s wary of humans even with the chip gone,” Angel replied.  
  
“Well, from what you told me in the past, he’ll bounce back, just give him some time,” Frank said.  
  
Angel gave the Boraro demon his address and hung up. Spike was looking at him quizzically. The blonde vampire had heard the conversation on both ends. He wondered what his Sire was up to. Angel was going to a lot of trouble to help him and he didn’t know why.  
  
“Why are you doing this?” Spike blurted out before he could stop himself.  
  
“I’m hungry and, since you drank my blood, I’m fixing my own?” Angel answered with a raised brow.  
  
“I don’t mean that, git. I mean why are you helping me?” Spike asked irritably.  
  
“You asked for my help.” When Spike’s face fell into a grim expression, Angel stepped closer to him. He added seductively, “You’re my childe.”  
  
“So, I’ve become a charity case. That’s great, Angel. I don’t need . . .,” Spike started to say as he walked off.  
  
Angel caught up with him and grabbed his arm to stop him. “Would you stop running away from me? You came here and asked for my help, didn’t you?” Spike stared at the floor, refusing to look at the elder vampire. “You aren’t beholden to me. You’re my childe and you needed me. I’m trying everything I know to make it better. I had the chip removed, I’m helping you to feel again, I had a friend of mine track that little army punk down and you’ll get your revenge. All I ask of you is that you stop running away from me when you feel uncomfortable or don’t think your behavior is befitting the Big Bad image. I know who and what you are, William. You only have to rediscover it yourself.”  
  
“How do you suggest I do that?” Spike asked as he watched his Sire retrieve the glass of blood from the microwave.  
  
“You’ll see,” Angel said before he downed the glass of blood.  
  
Spike was perplexed by his Sire’s cryptic answer. “What are you going on about? Want to give me a hint, mate?”  
  
Angel rinsed the glass out and put it in the sink. He walked past Spike, tugging on his shirt to follow and went out to the lobby.  
  
“Where’s Fred?” he asked.  
  
Cordelia looked at him thoughtfully. “Up in her room, I think.”  
  
“Thanks,” Angel said, dragging Spike back upstairs.  
  
The vampires went upstairs to the third floor and Angel led Spike down the hall, past their bedroom to a room four doors down. He knocked on the door and waited until the door cracked open and Fred peeked out.  
  
“Can Spike and I come in?” Angel asked.  
  
“Oh, sure, Angel,” she said with a smile.  
  
Fred opened the door wider and allowed the two vampires to enter, closing it behind them. Spike wondered what woman in their right mind would permit two vampires to enter their room. Her room wasn’t like Angel’s. It was only one room, a closet and a bathroom. He focused on the conversation when he realized Angel was asking her something.  
  
“Fred, can you help us? I promise you won’t get hurt. Spike needs help in remembering who he used to be,” Angel was explaining.  
  
“Angel, you don’t need to do this,” Spike protested. Angel ignored him as he waited expectantly for Fred’s answer.  
  
Fred chewed her lip as she thought over what Angel was asking of her. She would essentially be a guinea pig for Spike. She hadn’t had much contact with the blonde vampire. But the few instances she had been in his company, he was nice enough to her, answering her numerous questions and listening to her tales of Pylea.  
  
“Okay,” Fred said warily.  
  
“Thanks,” Angel said.  
  
He uncharacteristically kissed her on the cheek. The action made her turn beet red in embarrassment. Spike chuckled softly at her reaction.  
  
“If she does that with a kiss on the cheek, do you think she’ll survive this exercise?” Spike asked Angel.  
  
“Of course she will,” Angel answered with a wink at Fred, which caused her to turn even redder, if it were possible. “Come here,” he said, addressing his childe.  
  
Spike stepped up beside Angel and watched Fred with curiosity. He could sense the affection she had for his Sire. Every girl had a thing for the elder vampire. All the women in his life were drawn to Angel first because his Sire had that broody, hurt little-boy air about him where Spike was all attitude and swagger.  
  
“Angel, go sit down somewhere and be the voyeur we both know you are. Let me handle this. If this is your way of thinking that I’ll be back to my old self again, then I don’t need you holding my hand as if I were still a fledgling,” Spike said irritably.  
  
Angel held up his hands in surrender and backed away to sit in a chair in the corner. When he was sure that his Sire wouldn’t interfere, Spike turned back to Fred.  
  
“What do you know about me, Fred?” Spike asked in a low voice.  
  
“Not much. Just that you’re Angel’s childe and came here to heal up,” Fred answered with a small stammer.  
  
“Do you know what it means to be a childe?” Spike asked.  
  
When Fred shook her head, Spike smirked. “It means that you are stronger than a lackey. It means that the person who made you desired you above all else and chose you to hunt, feed and play with them,” he said, trying to choose his words carefully. It would do no good to scare the poor girl with tales of the sexual side of a Sire/Childe relationship.  
  
“Angel chose you to be his companion, then,” Fred concluded.  
  
“Of sorts. Angelus had high expectations for his chosen companions. It wasn’t easy to be a favored childe. I was quite rebellious, still am I suppose,” Spike said. He watched her wide-eyed expression as she absorbed the information. He continued, “What do you think of me, Fred? Am I as nice as a fluffy kitten or an evil, soulless thing?”  
  
“You’re just you,” Fred answered, unknowingly repeating Angel’s earlier words.  
  
Spike stretched his neck as if he were working a kink out and shifted to his demon. Staring at Fred through yellow eyes, he asked, “What about now?”  
  
The girl looked up at him with a hint of fear mixed with interest. Fred was always curious about the world around her. It was one of the reasons she was in physics in college before her sojourn in Pylea. She tentatively reached up and caressed the demon’s ridges. She drew her hand back when Spike purred softly.  
  
Angel reclined in a chair with a leg over the arm, watching the scene. He closely watched Fred’s reactions to Spike and his boy’s reactions to her. He had forgotten what it was like to witness the younger vampire as he teased prey. Angel cursed his traitorous body as it responded to Spike’s seductive tones as he spoke to Fred.  
  
Spike reached up and tugged on a lock of her hair, wrapping the strand around his fingers. He brought the tress to his nose and scented the Pantene shampoo she used.  
  
“You have nice hair with natural waves,” Spike commented.  
  
Fred ducked her head in embarrassment. “Oh, it’s just hair, everyone has hair, and it’s just ordinary and brown, nothing special really.”  
  
The blonde vampire walked around behind her, still scenting her hair. Spike pulled her hair back from her neck and growled low in her ear. The sound sent a frisson of heat through her and she unconsciously moaned. Spike flicked his yellow eyes towards Angel to see if he would stop him. After all, he was dangerously close to his pet human’s neck.  
  
Angel watched Spike work at turning Fred into a puddle with his actions. Normally he never felt the temperature in a room. After watching his childe, though, Angel was starting to wonder if Cordelia had turned the heat up in the hotel. He stared at Spike, who was looking at him with yellow eyes, daring him to step in and stop the scene. Then he watched as his childe slowly moved closer to the curve of her neck and skimmed his fangs across her tender skin.  
  
“Spike, don’t break the skin,” Angel warned.  
  
Spike growled in response which made Fred giggle from the vibration of the sound. In a rebellious move, the younger vampire pressed down with his fangs just to leave impressions in the skin that would be gone in a few minutes and teased Fred’s neck with the sandpaper-scratch of his tongue.  
  
Fred let her head fall back against Spike’s shoulder, allowing him easier access. His arm went around her middle to hold her up as he continued to tease his mouth over her jugular. His fangs itched to sink into her throat, but Spike held himself in check. However, that didn’t stop him from moving his hand down to cup her sex through her clothes and feel her involuntarily grind against his fingers.  
  
Angel rubbed his hard dick through his jeans as he watched Fred try to get herself off on Spike’s fingers as the blonde teased her. He came as he imagined his boy sinking his fangs into her neck. Fred went rigid in Spike’s arms and moaned as the vampire held her writhing body tight against him to keep her from falling.  
  
Ten minutes later, Fred opened her eyes and discovered that she was lying on her bed. She looked up at the two concerned vampires. Angel was sitting on the bed beside her and Spike was standing next to him.  
  
“Are you okay, pet?” Spike asked.  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Fred replied. She felt lightheaded, but otherwise she was rejuvenated. “What happened?”  
  
“You had one hell of an orgasm from my fangs,” Spike boasted with a smirk.  
  
Fred immediately felt her neck for any holes, but there was nothing. “I did?”  
  
Angel nodded. “He didn’t bite you, as I promised he wouldn’t. You only reacted to the seduction and passed out.”  
  
“Is that a good thing?” Fred asked warily.  
  
“You would have been delicious with that orgasm,” Spike assured her as he licked his lips.  
  
Fred shuddered at the memory of that tongue and those lips on her skin. “I’ll take your word for it.” Then, she turned to Angel. “Did I help?”  
  
“Well, you got his cocky attitude back,” Angel said as he looked at Spike, and then back at Fred. “It’s a work in progress.”  
  
Fred smiled triumphantly.  
  
“How about we let you rest,” Angel smirked as he remembered what she was resting from. “Then Spike and I will take you out to get tacos or a Slurpee, whatever you want, as a way to thank you for helping?”  
  
“That would be nice,” Fred said drowsily.  
  
Angel smiled at her. He stood up and went to the door with Spike following.  
  
“You’re smiling a lot, mate. Is there something I should know about? Should I have a stake ready?” Spike asked on his way out, closing the door behind him.


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has Riley being tortured to death, you have been warned.

##  _Chapter 16_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel_**  
  
Cordelia was sitting behind the reception desk, flipping through a _Marie Claire_ magazine when an object overshadowed her light. She looked up to see a very male thing with forward-pointing ears like a donkey, but with the face of a human, and huge hands with webbed fingers like a pig, if pigs had hands.  
  
“Eek!” Cordelia shrieked, jumping back off the stool behind the desk and produced a cross out of nowhere.  
  
The thing looked strangely at her with its head cocked to one side. “I’m not a vampire, so that cross isn’t going to work on me,” the thing said in a gruff, scratchy voice.  
  
“Who are you? _What_ are you? And, why are you here?” Cordelia demanded still holding the cross up as a shield.  
  
“Name’s Frank,” he said. He pulled up his hand to reveal Riley’s battered face. “I’ve come to see Angel.”  
  
“Who’s that?” Cordelia squeaked.  
  
Frank looked at it as he didn’t recognize it either. “Someone Angel told me to bring to him. It’s the thing that attacked Spike a few months back.”  
  
Cordelia’s eyes darted back to the battered human face. She winced when she heard a groan from him. Then, her eyes flicked back to the demon. “You’re the people-eating Boraro demon?”  
  
Frank nodded and lowered the hand holding Riley up.  
  
“You kill humans and you’re here!” she shrieked again.  
  
“Hey! I only kill humans when I’m hungry!” he said defensively. “What’s your excuse?”  
  
“ _Excuse me_!?” Cordelia asked taking offense to what he was inferring.  
  
“You kill animals for food correct?” he asked.  
  
“Well, not me _personally_! I’m a vegetarian!” Cordelia said. When Frank eyed her disbelievingly, she sighed, “Okay, there was that time I ate a roast, but that was only once and it was a holiday dinner!” When he still looked at her, she said defensively, “It wasn’t the whole roast!”  
  
“Uh-huh,” Frank commented.  
  
Cordelia looked around desperately for anything to get her out of this conversation with the ugly looking demon. “ANGEL!”  
  
Just then, Angel and Spike were coming in the back entrance with Fred who was eating an ice cream sundae and giggling at something Spike was saying. When Angel saw Frank his face lit up.  
  
“Hey, Frank. Didn’t expect you to get here so soon,” Angel greeted as he stopped at the reception desk.  
  
His position didn’t allow him to see what Frank had with him. Cordelia looked wide-eyed between the two men, if Frank was a man. She wasn’t exactly sure _what_ he was.  
  
“You’re friends with him?! He’s a human flesh-eating demon, Angel,” she exclaimed.  
  
“He only kills to eat, just like I only killed to eat,” Angel pointed out. Then, he thought about it. “Well, I didn’t _only kill to eat_ really . . . I’ve maimed and tortured a great deal.”  
  
“Yeah, but you can live off the blood of anything,” she cut in. “He’s eats people, and he has a body with him!”  
  
“Cordy, calm down or you’ll end up like his last wife,” Angel chuckled.  
  
Behind him, Fred had gone up to her room and Spike came over and leaned against the reception desk. Angel turned to Frank. “Did you bring him?”  
  
Frank’s answer was to lift his hand again and raise the head attached to it.  
  
“Did it come with the rest of the body?” Angel asked with a raised brow.  
  
“Unfortunately,” Frank answered.  
  
Spike’s eyes were drawn to the battered face of his attacker and he froze in place. Every hair on his body stood up and the dead blood in veins took on a life of its own, rushing so fast it made him dizzy. He willed his legs to move. Nothing happened. He tried to speak and it was as if his jaw was wired shut. It wouldn’t open for anything. Spike just stared at Riley’s face, mottled with dark bruises. Angel felt the apprehension come off Spike in waves.  
  
“Take him down to the basement,” Angel said.  
  
When Frank left with his burden, Angel turned to face Spike. “Are you sure you want to do this? I can handle it by myself.”  
  
Spike gazed numbly at Angel. Riley Finn was here. He expected to be pissed at seeing him again, and he was. But, Spike didn’t count on the underlying terror that made the dead blood in his veins even colder. He thought he was making great strides toward mental health, but seeing Finn, even with the battered face, threw him back four months.  
  
“Spike!” Angel said louder. The booming sound startled Cordelia.  
  
“Geez, Angel, you don’t have to scream at him,” she said as she slid off the stool and went around the desk to stand in front of Spike. Cordelia snapped her fingers in front of Spike’s eyes and he blinked. “Well, he isn’t comatose.”  
  
Angel looked annoyed at her. “Thanks for the diagnosis, Cordy. I think seeing Riley sent him into shock.”  
  
“He’s not in shock. For that to happen, he’d have more of a distressed expression on his face,” Cordelia said as she looked at Spike stunned expression and then back at Angel. “Wouldn’t he? What is with vampires only having one expression? Maybe he got that from you?”  
  
“Cordelia!” Angel growled.  
  
“I’m just making an observation,” Cordelia said as she held her hands up in surrender.  
  
“Make a better one! He’s been waiting for months to get payback on Riley for what he did. It’s no good if he’s barely coherent to enjoy it,” Angel said apprehensively.  
  
“Well, how would you like it if the person from your nightmares was standing right in front of you?” Cordelia asked.  
  
Angel just looked at her. The fiasco with Wolfram & Hart and Darla hung in the air between them.  
  
“Okay, so you do understand. What do we do about him?” she asked, gesturing towards Spike.  
  
“Get him down to the basement and he can watch me work on Finn until he snaps out of it,” Angel suggested.  
  
“Are you sure that’s the best idea? Spike and Riley in the same room again?” she asked.  
  
“Worst case scenario? Spike snaps out of it and kills soldier boy,” Angel said casually.  
  
“Angel!” Cordelia scoffed. She couldn’t believe he was suggesting such a thing.  
  
“What? That army punk beat and raped him. I’m not seeing Spike killing him as a bad thing, are you?” Angel asked with a raised brow.  
  
“He’s a human being! You can’t condone the killing of a human being,” Cordelia argued.  
  
“Why not? Spike was chipped and unable to defend himself when Finn attacked him. I’d say let Spike have him!” Angel argued back.  
  
“First a cellar full of lawyers, and now this? You can’t play God, Angel,” she countered.  
  
“I’m not playing God. Spike needs closure or he’ll never fully recover. If killing Riley gives him that and helps him sleep easier knowing he won’t be attacked again, then by all means,” Angel replied.  
  
“So, you’re just going to kill every person who ever hurt him when he was chipped?” Cordelia inquired.  
  
“No, just this one,” Angel said all-too-quickly.  
  
“Spike is an evil, soulless demon! Riley Finn is human! He has a soul,” Cordelia argued.  
  
“Spike may be evil, but he didn’t deserve to be beaten within an inch of his life, such as it is, and raped for fucking some girl that Riley had his eye on. Besides, it’s not like Finn has done anything worthwhile on this planet,” Angel shot back.  
  
Cordelia held up her hands again. “Hold up! I agree that Spike didn’t deserve to be raped, but the _girl_ he was fucking is the love of your life – unlife, whatever – and second Riley was ridding the world of demons. So, I’d say he was one of the good guys.”  
  
“I know who he was fucking and that isn’t the point right now. Riley’s no better than Lindsey McDonald, only Lindsey dresses better,” Angel said.  
  
“Angel . . .” Cordelia started to say.  
  
Angel was leading a still-dazed Spike to the basement door. “Enough, Cordy. End of discussion. Spike needs this and I’m going to see that he gets it, if only to help him heal. You don’t have to like it or even agree with it. You know where the door is if you want to leave.”  
  
With that, Angel disappeared down the stairs with Spike and slammed the basement door.  
  
**************************  
  
Angel stopped at the bottom landing of the stairs and helped a still-catatonic Spike to sit down. “Whenever you’re ready, you can join in,” he whispered low enough that only Spike and possibly Frank could hear.  
  
He ran his fingers over Spike’s hair and then turned and walked down the small flight of stairs to where Frank was tightening Riley’s restraints on a Saint Andrew’s cross. Riley’s head hung on his shoulders, but he managed to glare at Angel when he got close enough.  
  
“So, you are awake,” Angel mused. “I thought Frank had knocked you out. Not looking so tough now are you?”  
  
“Fuck you,” Riley grated out in a low mumble.  
  
“No thanks. I don’t take my ex-girlfriend’s leftovers,” Angel replied. “Didn’t the beating I gave you a couple of years ago teach you nothing?”  
  
Riley just glared at him, silent. He barely winced when Frank tightened a restraint, but it was enough for Angel to notice it.  
  
“You think you can touch something that’s mine and I not know? Where my family is concerned, I always know.” Okay, so that was a small lie, he hadn’t known about Spike until his childe told him, but Riley didn’t need to know that. “You beat and raped Spike for no reason other than you were pissed that he was fucking your ex-girlfriend.”  
  
“She’s your ex-girlfriend too,” Riley pointed out in a low rasp and coughed up a little blood for the effort.  
  
“Yeah, she is. But, I never took my anger at her sleeping with a vulnerable demon out on the demon. Spike is what he is. He’s evil. He’s soulless. He’s everything I taught him to be. He’s an excellent killer. Anything he did against Buffy, he did without a soul. _You_ , on the other hand, _have a soul_ and you attacked him while he was chipped and defenseless against humans.”  
  
“He got what he deserved. He deserves worse. He should be staked, just as you should be,” Riley stuttered through a coughing fit.  
  
“ _What he deserves is up to debate_ ,” Angel growled. “You are neither a God nor a judge to punish anything you see fit to abuse. You committed a grave offense against one of mine and for that you have a slim chance of making it out of this basement alive.”  
  
“I’m human. You can’t kill me. I have a wife,” Riley choked out.  
  
“You should have thought about your wife before you assaulted Spike. Besides, who said I would kill you?” Angel asked casually.  
  
Gaining a bit more confidence, Riley asked, “So, what, you’re going to beat me up until he decides to show his face and then feed me to him?”  
  
“You know? I hadn’t had any plans outside of torturing for an unbelievably long time until you died from the shock or the blood loss. But, now that you bring it up . . .” Angel pondered out loud.  
  
“You’re a sadistic fuck, you know that?” Riley asked, coughing up a lung in the process.  
  
“So I’ve been told,” Angel replied calmly and then raised an eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be an insult?”  
  
“Go to hell,” Riley said.  
  
Angel chuckled. “I’ve been there before too, sent there by Buffy herself. It’s a bit dry for my tastes. Is that the best you can do? I got to say, you aren’t much for a proper comeback when you’re chained up.” He leaned into Riley’s face, taking the battered features in his hands and looked into his eyes. “I have a talent for slow, painful torture and your half-assed insults are just pissing me off. That’s okay though,” Angel said with an exaggerated nod. “That just means I’ll keep you alive longer. I can break every bone in your body. As long as I don’t break your neck, you will still live . . . paralyzed maybe, but alive.”  
  
“I thought you were out seeking redemption and now you’re torturing me for a pathetic excuse of a demon?” Riley grated out.  
  
“People like you are what get in the way of my redemption. I figure if I get rid of you, I may get bonus points. Because, beating and raping a defenseless creature to prove your manhood . . . you’re no better than . . . well, me,” Angel said.  
  
“Bloody hell, Angel . . . just kill him already before he dies of old age,” Spike’s voice sounded weak and tired from the stairs.  
  
“Spike, my boy!” Angel’s face lit up with a smile and he turned to face his childe. “Come and help me decide the best way to eviscerate Agent Finn here.”  
  
“If you want to eviscerate him, be my guest,” Spike replied. He got to his feet and joined Angel looking at Riley hanging from the cross. Then, he leaned forward as if he were sharing a secret with the human. “Angel likes to talk a good game, but he takes forever in execution.”  
  
“Would you want to drink it if I did?” Angel asked.  
  
“Well, no, not from him. I might catch something,” Spike grimaced at the thought.  
  
“He’s done the most damage to you. What do you want to do with him?” Angel asked.  
  
“I wasn’t much for the torture aspect. I just want him gone from my life,” Spike said tiredly.  
  
“I seem to remember a few bouts of torture with railroad spikes,” Angel pointed out.  
  
“Yeah, well it’s not like we have any here, is it?” Spike replied agitated.  
  
Angel reached over to a stack of crates and produced a railroad spike.  
  
“Where the bloody hell did you get that?” Spike asked, ignoring Riley for the moment.  
  
“Does it matter?” Angel replied with a smirk as he handed it over. “And look, it still has your notches on it.”  
  
Spike inspected it closely and, sure enough, there were notches carved into the side. He looked up at Angel in confusion. “You kept it?”  
  
“I kept a lot of things,” the dark vampire said as he watched his companion.  
  
“For someone who despised the sight of me for a hundred and twenty years, you’re awfully nostalgic for the past,” Spike mused shaking his head.  
  
“Hey guys, can we take the trip down memory lane later? I’m getting hungry and the annoying human is just hanging there like a slab of beef,” Frank interrupted.  
  
Both vampires cleared their throats and turned back to the reason they were in the basement in the first place. Riley was hanging there still glaring at them. Spike walked up to the human and smirked with his tongue behind his teeth.  
  
“Before I kill you, I’d like to let you in on a few things.” Spike looked off in the distance as he thought about how to say it. “When Buffy came back from the dead, I was the only one that hadn’t up and left her. She came to me, probably because I was familiar, safe to an extent and . . . oh yeah . . . unchangeably dead. So, naturally, she ended up fucking me.”  
  
Riley gave a semblance of a growl to that.  
  
“Yeah, I say ‘fucking me’ cause she always took over. I don’t know if she even knows how to follow someone else’s lead during sex or otherwise. But, I digress . . . can I digress? Anyway,” Spike waved his hand dismissively and jabbed the end of the spike in Riley’s chest. “ _You_ showed up out of the blue carting around a wife and decided to throw that in her face. That’s why you found her with me. The girl needed to know someone still cared about her. But then, you barged in making threats about a situation that was none of your concern and she followed along, ’cause God forbid someone find out that she’s fucking the undead again. But, you just couldn’t leave town, could you? Had to get your end away . . . if you think about it, a human raping, essentially a dead body, that would make them party to necrophilia.”  
  
“I should have staked you years ago, put you out of everyone’s misery,” Riley rasped.  
  
“You would have never gotten away with it if you did,” Spike said casually. “’Even if Buffy didn’t go after you, the vampire behind me would have. Angel and I have our differences just like any family, but one thing that has always been there is a sense of loyalty.”  
  
“You’re a soulless demon, what do you know about loyalty,” Riley asked.  
  
“Enough of enough, I’m through talking, mate. Just wanted you to know why you’re in this position.”  
  
With that, Spike stabbed his weapon into Riley’s inner thigh and pulled up until he jerked it against his balls. He sneered at the sound of Riley’s hoarse scream. A waterfall of blood pooled below the writhing body. After a moment of Riley thrashing around in pain, Spike yanked the spear out of his thigh to the sound of louder screams.  
  
Angel was perched against the stack of crates with his arms crossed over his chest, watching the scene. The screams were music to his ears. Sure, he had a soul and felt remorse for those deserving of it. However, Riley Finn was not one of those people. If the soldier had just left Spike alone, he wouldn’t be here now. Angel couldn’t even gather any feeling to care one way or the other about Riley’s fate. Deep down, Angelus was enjoying this. He felt a thrill go through him when Spike stabbed Finn in a new place and another peal of blood-curdling screams rent the air.  
  
Okay, so maybe even he was enjoying this. How could he not when Spike was doing his best to emulate Angelus in a game of torture? Spike had a flare for it even it wasn’t as methodical as his soulless counterpart.  
  
Frank moved closer to the dark vampire. “Like father, like son, eh?”  
  
Angel gave the Boraro demon an amused smirk.  
  
“Think he’ll be done soon, there’s not much flesh to stick that spike in,” Frank observed.  
  
“Maybe now he can relax and get some actual sleep for once,” Angel said concerned. “When you’re done with the body, try to be discreet about dumping it. We don’t need some unsuspecting human finding it.”  
  
“Discreet is my middle name,” Frank commented.  
  
“I thought it was Alexander?” Angel teased.  
  
“Which is Latin for discreet,” Frank replied.  
  
“Actually that would be modeste or prudens,” Angel corrected.  
  
“Smart ass,” Frank grumbled.  
  
“Just correcting your grammar, my friend,” Angel chuckled.  
  
“Bite me, Aurelius.”  
  
“Sorry, Boraro demon blood is too caustic for my palette, like drinking acid,” Angel informed him.  
  
The eerie silence was what got Angel’s attention away from the conversation. There were no more hoarse human screams. All he could hear was the sound of dripping blood down from the body to the drain under it. Angel looked around Frank’s hulking form to see Spike staring sightless at the body of his attacker.  
  
“Spike?” he called out as he straightened up.  
  
Angel moved closer to the blonde vampire and touched his elbow, but Spike didn’t acknowledge him. He turned his childe away from the hanging corpse to look at him. Angel pried the weapon from Spike’s bloody hand and blindly handed it to Frank. Then, he put his fingers under Spike’s chin and raised his head to look up at him.  
  
“Are you in there?” Angel asked quietly.  
  
Spike continued to stare at him. Angel could tell he was trying to keep it together. His Will had always been expressive. A soulless vampire wasn’t supposed to feel anything, but his boy had deep emotions. Angelus spent so much time trying to get William to hide them, to lose them so that something like this wouldn’t happen. But it didn’t work. Spike would always be that young, naïve poet inside.  
  
“I’ve got to get him upstairs, clean the blood off him before they see him,” Angel said to Frank while still looking into Spike’s catatonic eyes. He led his childe upstairs. “Take what you want of it and get rid of the body.” Angel’s voice was monotone.  
  
Frank cut the body down and took it with him.  
  
**************************  
  
Angel led Spike into his room. Drusilla’s bed was large and imposing in the darkened bedroom. Luckily, Fred was in her room when they came up the stairs because Angel had no clue how to explain the blood on Spike’s clothes, hands, face and neck.  
  
Angel directed Spike into the adjoining bathroom and helped him up on the counter. This scenario was becoming so common that he had a sense of déjà vu. He pulled Spike’s shirt over his head and threw it in the hamper. He ran a washcloth under the warm water and wiped the blood off Spike.  
  
“You know, if you keep this up, I might have your ass imprinted on my sink,” Angel said in casual humor.  
  
Spike just stared into space.  
  
“Cordy and Fred have been worried about you. Maybe when you snap out of the shock, they’ll stop giving me strange looks as if I’m the one that caused it, hey,” Angel continued.  
  
Angel squeezed the water out of the washcloth and draped it over the faucet, grabbed a towel and dried Spike off. He helped the younger vampire off the sink and into Drusilla’s bed. Pushing him to lay down, Angel unfastened his jeans and pulled them off. Angel got Spike under the covers, then undressed and joined him.  
  
“Riley’s dead, you can rest a little easier now. Buffy’s in Sunnydale, it would be dumb on her part to come back again. You can stay here and help out as long as you want.” Angel’s lips quirked up. “I’m sure you’ll be back to being the annoying pain in my ass soon enough.”  
  
Angel watched Spike for a while before he drifted to sleep. Some time later, Angel was half-sleep when he felt the younger vampire tighten his hold around his waist, and then felt tears against his neck. At least, Spike was starting to come out of shock. Things could only get better from here . . . hopefully.


	18. Epilogue

##  _Epilogue_

  
  
**_Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel, a Month Later_**  
  
Angel was sitting at his desk in what used to be the manager’s office. The gang was in the lobby doing whatever it is they do when they weren’t on a case. Just then, the door slammed open and then shut and there stood Spike, angry with dirt smudges on his face. He ignored everyone as he stormed across the lobby and into Angel’s office, slamming that door as well. The next thing the crew heard was Angel laughing his ass off when they assumed he got a look at Spike.  
  
Inside the office, Spike was glaring daggers at the laughing hyena that had replaced his Sire. “I’m glad you find this funny mate.” Angel chuckled even more. “You can stop laughing any time now, wanker.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Spike, it’s just . . .” Laughter bubbled up even more. “When I told you to go to the Furies for a little help, I didn’t expect you to . . . ha, ha, ha . . . that has to be Diana’s fault. You got trapped in one of their sex-capades and came before they were ready?” Angel nearly fell out of his chair laughing harder.  
  
“You never said they came in musical key or that there was a pattern I had to follow. That eldest sister nearly killed me,” Spike ranted.  
  
“Here I thought you were the one with finesse when it came to women,” Angel was still chuckling.  
  
“Vampire and human, regular women, mate. You sent me to three Hell-Furies!” Spike shot back.  
  
Angel took mild offense at that. “They aren’t Hell-Furies. They are three gorgeous divinities and supposed to be treated with the utmost care. You’re a brute!”  
  
“I am not . . . I just didn’t know the play of the game,” Spike pouted.  
  
Angel’s smile diminished when he heard the plaintive voice. His boy still had nightmares, though they were getting less and less horrific. There were times when Spike hated to be touched, but wanted him there, and other times, he clung to Angel desperately. In front of the gang, Spike was all swagger and attitude.  
  
“Besides, what was with that ‘mmm, Angel’ business, is there anyone that I have had sex with that you haven’t had first?” Spike asked irritably.  
  
“Think of it as a screening process. If I had them, they can’t be too bad,” Angel quipped.  
  
“Well, that explains why I haven’t laid Lilah, doesn’t it?” Spike replied.  
  
“Um, yeah… uh . . .” Angel stammered.  
  
“Bloody hell, you had her too?” Spike groaned.  
  
“In a manner of speaking,” Angel said softly.  
  
“You’re fucking Evil Incorporated now?” Spike asked.  
  
“I wasn’t even in control of my body then. There was this guy and a thing and a spell and he switched bodies and had sex with her on my desk. Well, Wesley’s desk at the time but . . .”  
  
“Say no more,” Spike cut in.  
  
“Lilah hasn’t looked at me the same way again,” Angel finished.  
  
“Angel . . .” Spike broke in.  
  
“She won’t look me in the eyes now at all,” Angel went on.  
  
“Angel, shut the hell up,” Spike said louder.  
  
“Maybe it’s because . . .”  
  
Spike growled and stomped around the desk. He took Angel’s face in his hands and kissed him hard, entirely as a way to cease the words. Once Angel was on a guilt complex, it was hard enough to get him out of it, and then there was the rambling guilt like now. One would think he’d beg to be flogged.  
  
Angel stood up with his hands at Spike’s waist and pushed him back to lie down across the desk. He didn’t even bother to brush off the paperwork he was going through when Spike came in. Angel quickly worked the buttons open on the blonde’s jeans and yanked them down his hips. Spike was busy doing the same to him as he licked a wet trail down Spike’s neck. Angel nipped at his collarbone as he pushed his Sire’s pants down as far as he could in his current position. They barely registered Cordelia’s shriek through the glass when she saw what they were doing through the open blinds.  
  
“Angel, I need you,” Spike panted as he bucked against his Sire’s ministrations.  
  
Angel wrapped his fingers around Spike’s shaft and started stroking when he heard the plea. They’d done this before. They’d gotten each other to the brink and just before penetration, Spike would freeze up leaving Angel to back track to a safe zone.  
  
The dark vampire pulled back and looked Spike in the eyes. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Please, don’t make me beg,” Spike said in reply.  
  
“Okay, okay. I don’t have anything that would really work for lubricant down here.”  
  
Just then, Fred bounced in and all but handed him a bottle of hand cleanser. The door opening surprised both vampires who were lying over a desk, semi-naked. Angel just stared at the bottle in his hand as if it just appeared by magic as Fred left, giggling.  
  
Spike pulled out of his surprised state and laughed at what just happened. It was almost surreal. “I think we have lube now.” He laughed as Angel continued to stare at the bottle. “Are you planning on using that now or should I leave you alone with your hand?”  
  
“Was that Fred?” Angel asked mystified.  
  
“Yeah, mate, she threw us the bottle and left, giggling like a schoolgirl. Can we get back to the important thing at the moment?” Spike asked.  
  
“Uh, yeah,” the dark vampire replied.  
  
Angel squeezed the liquid onto his fingers and set the bottle aside. He reached down between them and gently teased Spike to relax as he worked his fingers inside. This wasn’t the bad part for Spike. The sensation of his Sire’s fingers probing and teasing him were arousing. It was when Angel started to thrust his cock inside that he normally called a halt to everything and they had to back up a step or five.  
  
“God, Angel,” Spike groaned as he rocked with the movement of the fingers thrusting inside him, brushing against his prostate.  
  
Angel watched Spike’s eyes flutter shut as his boy took in the sensations. This was the easy part. Now he had to keep Spike in this state of bliss. As Angel watched his face for any changes, he was drawn to the long lashes that were nearly black above his high cheekbones. Sometimes, it struck him how beautiful Spike was. His body was toned and sculpted. Where William had the demeanor of shy poet, Spike oozed sex appeal and confidence.  
  
“Angel, I’m ready,” Spike’s voice broke through Angel’s thoughts. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to cum now.”  
  
Angel grinned at him and gently pulled his fingers out. He put the tip of his erection against Spike’s opening and began to thrust inside, slowly stretching him open as gently as possible. When he felt Spike dig his nails into his arms, Angel stopped.  
  
“No! Keep going! It feels good,” Spike hurried to assure him.  
  
Angel looked skeptical. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Please, keep going,” Spike urged.  
  
Angel steadily pushed into his childe’s body until his hips were flesh against Spike’s thighs. He watched for any adverse change in Spike’s expression. All he saw was arousal in the bright, blue eyes. They weren’t clouded over in pain and memories. Spike was still in the present with him. He couldn’t help it, he had to kiss him. This was a huge step for Spike. Angel lay over the blonde vampire and kissed him. He licked the full lips until they opened, allowing his tongue to slip inside for teasing swipes against the palette and tongue.  
  
As they kissed, Angel started moving, experimenting with the tempo of his thrusts, mentally trying to gauge Spike’s reaction. The encouragement from Spike was still new to him. He pulled away and buried his face against Spike’s neck, hugging him in gratitude. The moans of pleasure in his ear were the sweetest sound he ever heard.  
  
“Angel, I’m okay, really. Move faster,” Spike assured him.  
  
Angel did as Spike requested plunging into him faster and subsequently harder until the moaning returned. He was even more surprised when he felt Spike bucking up to meet him stroke for stroke. The few encounters they had before, Spike had only moved instinctively on autopilot.  
  
“You’ve never been more beautiful or absolutely sexy than you are right now,” Angel whispered in Spike’s ear.  
  
Spike growled when he heard Angel and tightened his knees against the other vampire’s hips. He dug his nails into Angel’s back and clawed down as he bucked harder. Spike felt cool lips brush across his cheekbone and down to his throat again and the arms around him pull him tighter into the big body over him.  
  
“It’s just you and me here. You’re safe, just let go,” Angel whispered.  
  
Spike pulled Angel against him, groaning as the hard shaft went deeper by a fraction and the head hit on his prostate whenever the dark vampire pulled back as far as Spike’s legs allowed him and thrust back in.  
  
Angel’s sex-addled brain barely registered the small sound of pleas whispered near his ear, along with a mixture of ‘Angel’ and ‘Sire’. He wasn’t even sure if that was real sobbing catching in the breathy moans or his imagination. He leaned up a little and grabbed the edge of the desk for stability as his thrusts became faster and harder, egged on by Spike’s responses. When he leaned up, Spike anchored himself to Angel and moved with him.  
  
“Spike, lay back so I can get to your dick,” Angel said huskily.  
  
Reluctantly, Spike lay against the desk and Angel saw that his eyes were screwed shut. He wrapped his hand around his boy’s weeping cock and stroked the length. He teased the crown by rubbing his thumb of the tip, spreading the pre-cum around. The action made Spike writhe under him.  
  
“Open your eyes and look at me, Spike,” Angel’s voice sounded gruffer than he intended, but Spike’s eyes sprang open and he stared up at him. “I want you to see who’s doing this to you. See who it is causing all those feelings in the pit of your stomach, making your dick leak like this.”  
  
“Angel,” Spike groaned as he moved between the cock inside him and the hand around him.  
  
“That’s right. It’s me.” Angel felt a wave of satisfaction that Spike acknowledged him. Sometimes, he wondered if Spike even knew what he was doing or that Angel was there with him. When Spike’s eyes shut out of pleasure, Angel spoke again. “Open your eyes Spike. I want to see it when you cum. I want you to look at me and see the pleasure that you can give as well as receive.”  
  
Spike’s eyes opened and the blue color had darkened with his passion. Angel sucked in a breath at the sight. Those eyes were like a storm-clouded sky, like the ones he could see without burning to ashes. He gripped Spike’s erection harder and stroked faster, watching the emotions play across his boy’s face. When Spike’s eyes closed again, he allowed it. Then, he felt Spike’s cock twitch in his hand before it released cool seed all over his hand. Angel wanted to cry himself, for Spike and how far he’d come – no pun intended – from almost six months ago.  
  
“So beautiful, Spike,” Angel’s voice hitched with emotion. Then, he rode out his own orgasm caused by his childe’s inner muscles contracting around his cock. When he opened his eyes, he found Spike watching him silently.  
  
Angel chuckled and kissed Spike. He was mindful of the tears wetting his cheeks, but didn’t know which one of them was crying. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t notice, or chose to ignore, the applause from two girls on the other side of the glass. The only thing Angel knew was that Spike would only get better with time and he intended to be there every step of the way.


	19. Addenda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has hurt/comfort sex, you have been warned.Addenda

##  _Addenda_

  
  
It was December. The chill in the air was enough to close the windows of the Hyperion. Outside, the city was bustling with post-Thanksgiving Christmas sales and shoppers rushing from store to store in a marathon to get the best toys of the year for their families.  
  
Inside a darkened bedroom on the third floor, two vampires were sleeping together in the center of the four-post canopy bed that once belonged to Drusilla. The blonde tossed and turned in his sleep. When it got worse, he bolted upright in bed and looked around wildly. Then, he turned to see his Sire sleeping peacefully.  
  
Spike carefully pulled the covers away and got out of bed, replacing them. He slipped on a pair of pajama pants to ward off the chill and grabbed his cigarettes. Spike padded over the worn carpet to the windows. There was a small lamp base-table and Angel’s favorite wingback chair. On the table was an ashtray.  
  
His Sire had moved into the room not long after they killed Riley Finn. Spike squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head against the image that crept into his mind. _He did not feel guilty for Riley’s death._ That didn’t stop the pictures running in his dreams though. The dreams left him feeling cold and empty. He felt lonely.  
  
As Spike lit his cigarette, his lashes flickered up and he glanced over at Angel still sleeping in the bed. There was a soft snip as his Zippo flipped shut and was carefully placed on the table. Spike took a drag as he looked out the windows. The chilly air left a light film of condensation on the glass. It was still dark outside, nearly pitch black, the moon hidden behind the clouds. It was fitting weather for his mood. It wouldn’t last long though. The sun always came out, forcing him to seek shelter in the shadows. That’s where he belonged after all. Isn’t that right?  
  
Only he was already hidden. He closed in on himself and shut down. The dreams left him tired. He hadn’t completely lied to Angel. Physically, he was fine. It was the images in his head that he could never break free from. Spent so many months trying to remember what happened when he blacked out. Now, all he wanted to do was forget and go back to the way he was. Before Riley brutally raped his defenseless body, before Buffy came to him that night while he was reading and asked the one question that put the final nail in his coffin: _Do you love me?_ He didn’t know what to feel anymore.  
  
Spike crossed an arm over his chest and took a deep drag on the cigarette. He let the smoke burn through him. Tendrils of heat radiated throughout his body. Maybe that was his imagination. He had seen Buffy once since he and Angel killed Riley. She wasn’t happy to see him walking around. She told Angel that Willow had turned evil and tried to destroy the world, but Xander had saved the day with a hug. The Scoobies always save the day.  
  
“You know I hate when you smoke in the hotel,” Angel said quietly behind him.  
  
“I’d open the window but it’s cold out there,” Spike said by way of explanation.  
  
“Are the dreams still . . .?”  
  
Angel trailed off as he looked at Spike’s half-turned profile. The high cheekbones were threatening to push through the skin. There were dark circles under Spike’s eyes from lack of sleep. The sagging shoulders were a testament to restlessness. His boy had become withdrawn the last few months. Not from him personally, but from life in general. The blonde still went out and fought with the gang, but when they came back, he’d withdraw again.  
  
“Yeah,” Spike sounded lost.  
  
“I can tell you what you already know, but we both know that’s pointless,” Angel said.  
  
“Yeah,” Spike replied.  
  
“Spike . . . Will, come back to bed,” Angel beckoned.  
  
He saw the glow of the cigarette as Spike took one last drag and stubbed it out in the ashtray. Then, he heard the shuffling footsteps on the carpet. A second later, the bed dipped under Spike’s weight. The blonde lay rigidly beside him until Angel pulled him against his chest.  
  
“It’s okay. No one here expects you to be over what happened. It’s something that will stay with you the rest of your life. The only promise I can make is to be here when you need it. Cordy, Fred, Gunn and Wesley are here too. You don’t have to shut us out,” Angel said aimlessly.  
  
“Angel,” was whispered in the darkness.  
  
The dark vampire looked at his childe and saw the haunted blue eyes. It was nights like this that Spike was at his most vulnerable, as if he couldn’t make sense of his life. Angel doubted that anything he just said got through to the younger vampire. He could only imagine the chaos that was in Spike’s head on a nightly basis. The warring images of helplessness as he was stripped of his dignity by humans and vindication when he took it back. Spike was a shell of his former self and that scared the hell out of Angel. But, he knew that it would take a long time before Spike was able to process it all.  
  
Spike didn’t know what was going on in Angel’s head. He barely saw past the turmoil in his own mind. All he wanted in his whole life, and unlife, was to belong to something or someone. For a while he thought that was Drusilla, even though she belonged to Angelus. Then, he thought it was Buffy, but she never wanted him outside of a convenient fuck. Maybe it was Angel, but lately he couldn’t tell if the wedge between them was placed there by Angel or himself.  
  
Spike wondered what would happen if they kissed, with no other meaning than to just feel each other. Would Angel respond to him or leave him like Buffy and Drusilla did? They had sex for months with a therapeutic purpose: to make Spike feel again. For once, Spike wanted it to happen for other reasons, to take his mind off his conflicting emotions and jumbled thoughts, because Angel wanted him.  
  
Angel watched as Spike mulled things over in his head. It looked as if he were deciding how to proceed and arguing within himself. When Angel thought he had enough, he reached over and caressed his thumb over Spike’s cheekbone. Then, he moved closer and sealed his lips over the younger vampire’s mouth.  
  
The action took Spike by surprise. He grabbed the big hand that rested on his cheek like a lifeline. When he opened his mouth on a gasp, his Sire’s tongue slipped past his lips to explore the recesses. Spike closed his eyes against the burn of unshed tears. After a moment of the familiar sensation of Angel’s tongue, Spike relaxed against his Sire’s body.  
  
Angel felt his childe surrender and a sense of pride rushed through him. His hand caressed from Spike’s cheek, the fingertips brushing over the scars on the pale throat left by his fangs, down to Spike’s chest where he rubbed his thumb over a nipple. Angel felt Spike bury long fingers in his thick hair. Then, Spike reached down between them to wrap his fingers around Angel’s thick shaft and stroked the length. Angel growled into the kiss when Spike’s thumb rubbed over the velvety tip.  
  
Angel moved until his hips were cradled between Spike’s thighs. He kissed his boy until Spike had to break the kiss to take in a gasp of fresh air. Angel clutched the back of the blonde head, holding Spike still as he plundered his mouth again. His hips ground against Spike’s until the friction of the sleep pants became too much. Angel reached down and yanked them down a slim hip. Then the other side was yanked down until Spike’s cock and balls were free.  
  
Spike’s eyes widened when the covers were tossed to the bottom of the bed and he shivered as the cool air hit his bare skin. His hand was still in Angel’s hair as the dark vampire moved down his body. A lick here, a nibble there, a soft tongue teasing his quivering flesh caused Spike to arch into his Sire’s touch. He tightened his hold on Angel’s hair when he felt that wicked tongue lave his sacs and draw them into a cool mouth. Then, his sleep pants were gone.  
  
Spike used his other hand to stroke his cock as he watched Angel suck on his balls, teasing them with his tongue. He tried to keep his eyes open to see what the elder vampire was doing, but they kept sliding shut every time Angel made him feel good, feel loved, adored, cherished, even though he wasn’t ready to admit that out loud. Spike’s back bowed when Angel took him into his mouth and he nearly came off the bed, thrusting his dick deep into Angel’s mouth.  
  
The dark vampire gripped the base of his childe’s erection in an attempt to control his bucking hips. When Spike was on the verge of coming, Angel sat up and started pumping his fist over his own hard length.  
  
“Angel,” Spike groaned as he stroked himself.  
  
“Don’t cum yet. Please, don’t come yet,” Angel begged in a low desperate voice, shaking with need.  
  
“Need to,” Spike trembled, trying to hold his own release back.  
  
“Not yet, not yet,” Angel repeated as he stroked faster. Then he went rigid. “Jesus fucking hell,” he growled as his whole body convulsed in a violent spasm and he bucked into his stroking hand as his cool essence splattered all over Spike’s hard, flat stomach. He collapsed on his back beside his childe.  
  
“You are such a bastard, you know that?” Spike growled, angry that his Sire came and he wasn’t allowed to.  
  
“No, I’m not. Come here,” Angel said, tugging Spike closer to straddle his waist.  
  
Angel’s cock was still hard and it nudged against Spike as the blonde moved over him. When he was about to impale himself on his Sire, the dark vampire stopped him. Spike’s lust grew as he watched Angel lick his thick fingers and wipe a small amount of semen off his abs. Angel reached behind him and pushed his wet fingers inside his childe.  
  
“Oh, God,” Spike quivered and clenched his anal muscles around Angel’s fingers.  
  
“That’s it,” Angel encouraged. “Ride my fingers. Stroke yourself, but do it slowly.”  
  
Spike leaned back with a hand on the mattress between Angel’s legs. He stroked himself as his Sire instructed and bounced on the thick fingers inside him until he had a good rhythm between the two stimulations. He watched Angel watch him with eyes half-closed in lust. He could see other emotions there as well, of acceptance and caring, possibly love, but he didn’t dare dwell on it.  
  
“Do you realize how absolutely beautiful you are like this?” Angel’s voice was gravelly. When Spike looked at him incredulously, Angel insisted, “I know you don’t believe that coming from me, but you are. Covered with my fluids, pleasuring yourself. This is what it’s supposed to be like, Spike. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed, watching your partner, your _lover_ enjoying themselves with you. It doesn’t have to be only penetration. It doesn’t need to be painful. How can anyone fear this so much that it gives them nightmares?”  
  
Spike had to close his eyes against the sting of unshed tears. This was too much. Angel’s words, Angel’s touch accepting him as he was, telling him that it was okay to feel passion again, showing him that he could find pleasure in a lover’s touch again.  
  
“No, don’t close your eyes. Look at me. Let me see what you’re feeling,” Angel said. Spike opened his eyes and stared into Angel’s dark brown eyes. “What do you want Spike? What do you want me to do?”  
  
“I want more . . . inside me,” Spike groaned as he continued to move on his Sire’s fingers.  
  
“More of what, Spike, more of my fingers?” Angel asked as he slipped another finger inside the pliant body, causing his childe to moan.  
  
“I want to feel you inside me, to know that you care,” Spike had squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed that he admitted so much.  
  
Angel pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his thick cock. He watched as his childe shuddered when he thrust deep into him. “If you only knew, Spike. You think I would have helped you when you came to me if I didn’t care about you? You’ve come so far in healing. I made you, taught you everything and I’m doing it again. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t care. Did you ever wonder why we could never really kill each other? Blood, blood is everything. You’re born of my blood. If you knew how much I’ve done for you over the years . . . because I care about you. I don’t expect you to understand or believe me. Just know that my feelings for you are, at best, intense.”  
  
“Angel,” Spike started to say something to refute his Sire’s declaration.  
  
“Don’t analyze it, Spike. Just enjoy this, feel the sensations infuse your being,” Angel cut in as he grabbed the slats in the wooden headboard and used it to lever his motions as he thrust up into Spike slow and deep.  
  
Spike squeezed his hand around his shaft and stroked at the tempo Angel set. He felt a slow burn ignite in the pit of his stomach as his arousal built, his sacs filling. The elder vampire started thrusting faster inside him.  
  
“Angel! I’m going to cum,” Spike moaned as he stroked faster.  
  
“Let go, Spike. Come over me. Let me see you,” Angel panted.  
  
He released the headboard and held Spike’s hips down, burying his shaft inside his childe. He directed his boy’s hips back and forth, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his cock as Spike worked himself on the shaft. Spike stroked faster until his body froze and he released all over Angel’s stomach and chest.  
  
Angel pulled a shivering Spike down on top of him and kissed him. Their fluids mixed together on their torsos. Angel’s tongue slipped past his boy’s lips as he rolled them over until Spike lay on his back. Then, the dark vampire pulled away and proceeded to lick Spike’s chest and stomach clean of their semen.  
  
“My gorgeous, naïve poet, my beautiful, deadly childe,” Angel whispered against Spike’s skin. “I can’t wait to see you blossom again, that’s my Christmas wish this year.”  
  
“Sire . . .” Spike breathed, blinking away the moisture in his eyes.  
  
Angel lay beside him and brushed away an unnoticed tear. “It’ll take time, but you’re getting there. You’ll make it because you’re a fighter. Now sleep.”  
  
In demonstration, Angel tucked Spike between himself and the mattress and closed his eyes. Spike had the idea to squirm away from Angel. It chafed him that he was being treated like a fledgling. But then, he relented and closed his eyes, allowing Angel to think that everything was okay . . . for now.


End file.
